Nothing to do

LegacyUser

This may seem like a very silly problem but it’s really getting me down.

Today is a lovely sunny day, I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to do anything with.

All I want is to be able to call someone up and get a coffee or walk around town or something that’s all. Or maybe plan to go for a drink tonight.

As I was getting dressed today, I was thinking "what’s the point?, how long is it going to be until I get back into my pjs again?"

I’m literally only getting dressed these days to go to Tesco. That’s it. (I look for and apply for jobs online, as of yet no interviews).

I’ve moved to a new city in England to try find a job and nothing happening so as well as having no one, I have no money to cheer myself up by shopping.

I’ve tried to think of groups I could join but its v difficult. I don’t have any interests, I know this sounds awful but I’ve had part-time jobs my whole life from 16/17 and school and college kept me busy during the week. My relax time was time spent with my friends and family, chilling out, watching TV, or going out.

I don’t know what interests me I actually cannot think of one thing I would like to join a group for.

As far as I know there’s no UK boards, or something similar but I would love to go to some kind of meet-up as it’s not for a specific activity.

I just want someone to talk to .....

LegacyUser

One idea re- getting to meet the other new recruits. You could email h.r and ask them for the company email addresses of the other interns so that you can send round an email to arrange a coffee meet? Also I would go down and make small talk with the son and mother, it will make you feel less paranoid.

easynote

Sorry to hear you are experiencing all this loneliness and boredom.

Maybe you can find people in similar situation here http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=213

dellas1979

landere wrote: »

One idea re- getting to meet the other new recruits. You could email h.r and ask them for the company email addresses of the other interns so that you can send round an email to arrange a coffee meet? Also I would go down and make small talk with the son and mother, it will make you feel less paranoid.

Eh? Wrong post Id say.

OP there must be one thing you are interested in. Sport? Cinema?

Ainekav

I can totally understand your frustration. First of all, why are you only looking for/applying for jobs online? Depending on what area you are jobsearching in, it is a better idea to get out there and call into places! expecially if its retail or food and beverage. go into as many places as you possibly can and ask to speak to a manager. the sooner you get a job, the sooner you solve your problem in my opinion - you get money, workmates and something to fill your day.

until you secure a job just keep telling yourself that itll get better when you are working. also try and get out and exercise at least, sitting at home will just depress you.

hope this helps.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Its so tough when you feel lonely and everyone has felt it at some stage, you have just made a huge change in your life you have gone out into the big bad world on your own so give yourself some time to find your feet and adapt.

I bet there are loads of things happening around you, look in the local Library for links to social groups activities etc or the local shop windows. Are you interested in any of these just to get the ideas flowing but no pressure to join something thats not for you....

YOGA
MEDITATION
COOKING - always good to patch up on your cooking, then you could throw a dinner party! come dine with me :L
CHOIR
WALKING
GARDENING
BOOK CLUB
PAINTING
CERAMICS


Even for now just trying to make yourself feel better would be good, like renting your fav dvd, when im lonely i get my period dramas out and just go into that world for hours! Maybe if you got a job in a local bar thats a great way to get social very quickly!

Also and this may not interest you but i always have a wee note book i write things in, like dreams and aspirations, positive affirmations, i collect nice images and stick them in and try and create a positive vibe there, i read a lot of self help books like THE POWER OF NOW, its great for pulling you back into balance to just read something inspiring and to write something positive in a note book, there is also a book called THE ARTISTS WAY by julia Cameron and you commit to it for 3 months, you write morning pages and go on creative dates with yourself i found it great! but you may not be into any of that i just like to share what gets me out of a lonely hole! :L Also making a vision board would be very positive, create a picture of what you look like fulfilled, get magazine cut outs and write heading under them like, fun! excitement! good social life! etc in a matter of weeks you will see all of it manifest your way because you got specific about what exactly it is you want!

Go for it, feel good, embrace yourself! you rock!! NAMASTE !! xoxo

LegacyUser

Hi,

Thanks so much for the replies. They really mean a lot.

I'm looking for a job that I can use my degree with so a lot of these types of jobs aren't really ones you can walk into off the street.

Although now Im thinking of maybe getting an evening job in a pub or restaraunt. While I'm looking...
This might sound awful, but I think it would dissappoint my parents if they knew I worked in a pub after all the time and money Iv spent in college. Thats another thing actually, i don't want my family to know how lonely I am so pretend Im having a ball on the phone. They'd tell me to come home but I dont want to be a failure.


A part of me thinks Iv forgotten how to make new friends. Its been so long since I was in a position like this alone that it feels completely foreign, Iv found myself struggling to make small talk.

Day yum yum - thanks for that vision board idea, my mum always tried to drill the power of positive thinking into me so you now what? I think Il give it a go...give me something to do anyway

I do enjoy cooking actually but have never considered it to be a hobby. I like going to the cinema too but I think my tastes in films could be rather cringey..

Thanks easynote for the link but having read the posts I think everyone is from London and thats where all the socializing is happening.

Thanks again for all the replies!

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Thats great, sometimes you just need someone to talk to and process your feelings we all need that and you are going through a big change, i think its admirable that you are determined to succeed and not mention it to your family, but sometimes people would love to be there for you too and accepting the support is good too, without having to go into loads of detail you could have a chat with your mum that you are adapting doing well but still trying to find your feet.

The vision board is fab heres a link to making your own on line, then you can print it off me and my BF have ours on the mantle piece :L

http://www.oprah.com/packages/o-dream-board.html


With your positive attitude i bet you will be flying soon enough, another thing i was thinking was that it can be interesting to get to know yourself at times like these like sometimes it is an opportunity to learn to sit with yourself more like what comes up in the quiet moments, accepting yourself is good too. XOXO

dellas1979

Ill be honest and say that the silly thing (from your opening statement) is trying to find a job particular to your degree, esp in this current decade.

In an ideal world youd walk straight into a job related to your degree (ok happens maybe 1 in a class of 100). In the real world it can take years and years of hard work in other areas and determination.

Take A job. Im not saying put what you want to on the way side, but you are underestimating how hard its out there at the moment for people with just degrees. And what the heck is wrong with working in a bar after college?

Are young ones today missing something in their heads? I cant get over how privilidged everyone wants to be. I dont think your parents would care too much as long as you are happy. And having a social outlet like working in a bar might be just the thing you need.

Ainekav

Totally agree with the post above me, You need a job, ANY job so that you can get out there and meet some people. And the longer you hold out for the perfect job, the lonlier you are going to get. Get a job in a pub or a restaurant, watch your mood improve and it'll get easier to look for a proper job because you won't get as depressed if or when you are knocked back and you can keep on jobhunting! If you keep trying to look now it is going to be harder for you. Get some money for yourself and some workmates and some social outlets and then concentrate on finding this dream job.

Ainekav

Also, go to the cinema, sure who cares what kindof films you watch - sure noone will be looking at ya!

As for forgetting how to make new friends - it sounds to me like thats all in your head, as soon as you meet people you will want to talk to them, even about trivial things like work etc. but i doubt that youve forgotten how to make friends.