Me and my bf r 19 cant be together in limerick city so how do we run ?

limerickguy2k0

i am 19 years old living in limerick city and my family dont know that i am gay and i been going out with this guy from awhile now but we hardly get to see each other cause he from co clare and his 19 too now he family knows about him but his father wont accept that his gay so he cant be see with guys and i know in limerick if i told my family there wouldnt be happy so its only leave us with one thing to be together and thats run away but where ? where can we stay ? now we are so in love that we would do anything just so we can be together!! can anyone give me advice that would help me cause i really lost and sad and need help with this i love him so much

SugarHigh

I think when you are both 19 it isn't much running away anymore as it's just moving out. Are you working or in college?

You could just find a house share somewhere so rent would be around €70 but good luck finding a job.

Rev Hellfire

Lets assume you have some cash set aside or have a source of income.

Then step one get the local rag of where ever it is you want to move too, check the accommodation section. Pick up the phone and start ringing.

Perhaps try the accommodation section on boards.

simples.

Roro4Brit

God be with the days of punctuation.

+1 above. You're both adults now so free to do and choose whatever will make you both happy. Just make sure that you are aware of the reality of what you are doing before you take the leap. If you both move out there will be rent, bills, travel, food etc etc...and you can't pay for that in love, so make sure you can afford to do whatever you decide.

On a separate note, perhaps you should talk to your family before you decide on their behalf that they will not accept you as gay. Obviously you know your family better than anyone here but sometimes parents/siblings can surprise you. They may not have a 'hooray you're gay' party for you but they may not find it as hard to digest as you think they will.

Not to question the validity of your relationship but are you sure you're in love with this guy? Based on what you said you've been with him a while and not seen him too often. Running away together might not be as romantic in reality as it is in your head.

Having said all that, my auntie legged it to Canada with her now husband when she was 16 and never looked back. They're still there and happily married 30 years later!

lionchild

Just make sure that you actually do love each other. It's easy to get caught up in romance and the heat of the moment. Yes it seems very adventurous to run away together, but have you thought about the consequences?

The next step is always gonna be cash! Do you have the funds to do this? Since you're 19, I'm taking it that you have worked before or maybe have a part time job now. Maybe you're studying and working. Whatever you do, both of you will have to contribute to funding your new life together. The most important thing for you to do now is get a place to live. Your both from the west so I recommend you move up to Galway. Big enough city, jobs will be going, nice gay scene etc.

Finally, I hope you both realise that it will be hard going for a few months, but if you do truly care for one another and respect each other, then I can see no problem...just don't let me be reading a thread in a few weeks about how I ran away with my man to a new city and now he's left me for another and i have no money and can't go home!

Oh and regards the family, why don't you just tell them? You'd be surprised at the reactions you get. ie, people you thought would freak out can end up being very understanding! Now off with ya!

Best of luck to you two!

ninty9er

Limerick has one of the cheapest rents in the country. Move out, it's pretty normal at your age, tell your family after a few weeks and if they don't like it then there's nothing they can do.

That said, the likelihood that they're going to get in the way of you living your life is way lower than them not liking it.

Don't have personal experience of this, but it's what I'd do. Being gay in Limerick is no big deal, not to most people your age.

limerickguy2k0

well yes he works from time in co clare and i am in college i know he gets about 300 a week and i would get 196 as i am only in college like i feel that i really do love him even tho its hard cause we not see each much if its once a week we lucky like cause i am at college and he working full time then u got times of buses to clare and back to limerick which stop at like 9 pm and everything so what i am really scared of it that if we were to move that i would end up having nothing but when i think about it again most people in ireland that are out renting are only getting the 196 and there seem to be able to life even if things are tight all i know that is i would do anything for this guy he dad wont accept it and when i told my mother last year i was gay first thing she told me was not to tell your father which kinda what but the nevs up me but if it meant running away to be together and be broke then i guess i am up for that cause love is one of the best things u could every feel i know that i can get rent help with the rent which to what i make out for singel person i would get 106 with 28 paid my self so if 106-28=78 78x4=312 and if he was to pay 50 euro a week that would make me and his money together 500 a week which we could get a nice place for but thats just to what i know so could someone tell me if i am right ?????

oisindoyle

Hate to rain on your parade ,but you are still very very young 19 is young .You have all your life to live yet ,dont rush into anything no matter how much you love each other .
Be realisetic here .Loving someone is great and and wanting to be with each other is lovely etc etc ,BUT living together is a totally different kettle of fish .

ninty9er

More rain. You are a student, you will not be able to claim unemployment benefit. So unless you pick up a part-time job your income is 0.

That said. You could pick up a double room with an en-suite in a nice house for €70/80 a week. Bills will add more, but it's not a lot really.

limerickguy2k0

well i am in college and i get 196 a week as it is now so thats my income not much but better than nothing and also i have applied for a house with the local town hall i am half ways true that so i got about 2 months more to wait as soon as i get a interview with them i know that i can get rent allowance so maybe that would be the only waiting that we would have to do like i understand that its nice wait but living together seems to be the only way as none of us are out full and most friends are not out so we got no place at all that we can go the only place we could stay is sitting in on a river bank in the dark rain and cold but its worth it to be with him we also went and paid like 130 euro for a room which was crazy but that was the only time i every got to sleep in the same bed as him i understand living with someone changes everything cause i had live with a ex before and so did i the guy that i love well so he said this is something that has been driving me mad for week and i final am happy now that i am speak about it to people here and get ye advice thanks ye so much i getting my head around this more now but i still feel the same that i would do anything to be with him crazy i know but thats love

Squall Leonhart

For God's sake limerickguy2k0, please use a full stop, or a comma, hell why not go wild altogether and use a colon, or semicolon or a hyphen.. or start a new paragraph now and then!!

Good for you, you've got a crush, and you think you're in love. That's great. Perhaps it is love, but like a few other posters said, realism needs to come into it. It is VERY different to seeing somebody infrequently and going to live with them. Try find some middle ground.

Annasopra

You know that because you are both 19 you get less dole then a 25 year old would? you would be better staying in college for now - it will give you better employment opportunities in the long term

Healium

Ah here... reality check, much?

I will also say that you need to grow up. If this really is love (which I really doubt it is), then are you going to avoid your family for the rest of your life, simply because you don't want to tell them?

To be honest, you sound like a child who got told that he couldn't get a new toy, so he ran away from home. Man up a little, dude. Either deal with your family, or disown them. But this "running away" crap....

foggy_lad

limerickguy2k0 wrote: »

well i am in college and i get 196 a week as it is now, so thats my income not much, but better than nothing.

and also i have applied for a house with the local town hall. i am half way through that so i got about 2 months more to wait. as soon as i get an interview with them i know that i can get rent allowance, so maybe that would be the only waiting that we would have to do?

like i understand that its nice wait but living together seems to be the only way as none of us are out full and most friends are not out so we got no place at all that we can go.

the only place we could stay is sitting in on a river bank in the dark rain and cold but its worth it to be with him! we also went and paid like 130 euro for a room which was crazy, but that was the only time i every got to sleep in the same bed as him.

i understand living with someone changes everything cause i had live with a ex before and so did i the guy that i love well so he said this is something that has been driving me mad for week and i final am happy now that i am speak about it to people here and get ye advice thanks ye so much i getting my head around this more now but i still feel the same that i would do anything to be with him crazy i know but thats love

ok you are 19 and so is this guy and ye have only been together once in a hotel room that ye paid €130 for. there is a distance between ye but this can be overcome in different ways including free call offers on mobiles etc

you do not know this guy very well so hold off doing anything until you are more familiar with him as you could move out tell your family etc only to find he totally ignores you and has nothing to do with moving in with you.

i have known guys(as young as 19) that prey on other guys that would not be as wise maybe and would believe all they were told.

before you give up college make sure this is something you are both looking for and sorry to burst your bubble but you will not get any council/social housing in two months or even two years no matter what your circumstances, if you have an elderly relative living in a council house move in with them until they die and you may be allowed stay in the house if you continue to pay rent.

young love really is fantastic but like our dreams it will not keep the rain off or put food in your belly.