what is wrong with me?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm 3mths pregnant with my second child, I am with my partner nearly 2 years.
I feel I need to get all the things that are really upsetting me at the moment out into the open, please don't think that I am one of those people who is just plain old negative.
I have a wonderful big house, a lovely daughter, a kind partner, always look forward to a brighter tommorrow but..

I work full time
I am a nurse and I have always found alot of the women in my workplace to be plainly 'like teenagers' and so shocked by these adult womens behaviour, I come home sometimes and when I have a few moments to myself recall on the day and am shocked at how these women sleep, treating others like crap.

For instance, today I made tea for a woman from the tea ladies trolly and the tea lady retorted to the whole room full of people 'I'M GOING TO SNAP ANY MINUTE'.
I knew it was directed at me,I am not one to stand up for myself because I feel I would never do that to anyone else so would not know how to handle someone who thinks nothing of ridiculing another, I felt I should have said something to her . It hurt alot, I feel I am an easy target because I don't stand up for myself.


I am a mother already to a 5 year old. I am her main guardian, my OH is not her father.
My OH does babysit when I need to work sometimes but I do everything else for her, I make sure she is loved,clothed,fed,bathed etc..
Her father is in her life from time to time but isn't consistant, From when I was pregnant until now I still have to keep asking him when he will see her. being my daughters voice but he is selfish and everything has to be revolving around him and his life.

My OH never makes the effort to make me feel special, never has, never will I guess. It's like he is this robot brought up to know right from wrong and everything has its place.
e.g 'its your birthday so you will get a treat,why any other day of the year?'
Never went that bit further to blow me off my feet. no suprises. I think it's because he behaved that way with his ex and she wasn't the right woman for him so now he's taking that out on me as far as his approach to the relationship is concerned.
When I announced I was pregnant he didn't show emotion, even though he claims he's excited and happy.
I'm quite goodlooking but he never tells me I look good in something nor do I feel sexy anymore.

My best friend resents me for being pregnant, She isn't happy i'm pregnant, doesnt call me anymore. I thought best friends were supposed to be there for you?

I have always stood on my two feet and have never asked for much concerning my parents, I feel they have enough debts and things to pay for without a daughter needing things.
I remember once they did give me and my sister 200eu to register with college and less than 3mths later asking only me for it back because they needed it to fly my dad over to his mothers funeral. I didn't have it at the time and my mother has never let it go.

Then there is my older sister who my parents paid her rent, college books, exams. anything she needs..she gets.
She recently moved country and got a job, my mother dropped everything and packed up my sisters house (yes the whole house) has given her money to buy another car and has given money to my auntie to drive her to work in the meantime.

I am trying to save for my own car because two kids will need transported. christmas is on the way, plus all the baby gear


I feel totally alone in life, I am a lovely,caring,funny,shy,beautiful girl but am obviously going wrong somewhere for people to treat me like I don't matter. what am I going to do? I am responsible for all of this and I can't see what the main pattern/problem is anymore.
does it sound like i'm depressed?