CRAZY situation

LegacyUser

Hi folks, this is a crazy one (funny, but also not so funny)

With the girlfriend over a year now, shes from a different country but her whole fam moved over here 10 years ago. Now they are certainly not liberal but not that restrictive either..or so i thought.

So as couples do we swapped a few "private" pics when we hadnt seen each other for a while etc etc but yesterday the gf's mother somehow got into my gf's hotmail, saw my mail with 3 ehem...pics of a saucy variety.

So now Im public enemy number 1. I think they see me as some kind of sexual deviant! (im 24 and shes 21 btw) so im a grown man!! its riduculous.

But thats not even the good part... today my girlfriend rang me and told me to check my mails, so up i go and she had sent me the mail with the pics in it, at first i was confused and then i looked a little closer.... her mother had actually forwarded the mail with the pics from my gf's mail to her own mail!!! and she sent the pics back to my gf(her daughter) today saying im a disgrace and she cant see me anymore etc etc!!!

Absolutely crazy situation! Anyway im not that bothered (a little embarrassed) but hell i done nothing wrong! What 2 adults do is their own business!

What id like to know is what can i do about her taking my pictures?? have i a leg to stand on, any legal implications of her stealing private pictures of me (and threatening her daughter to post them on facebook)??? Is she breaking any laws??

Thanks all, hope that gave you a laugh because i dont know whether to laugh or cry!!!

tommy21

angryguy wrote: »

Hi folks, this is a crazy one (funny, but also not so funny)

With the girlfriend over a year now, shes from a different country but her whole fam moved over here 10 years ago. Now they are certainly not liberal but not that restrictive either..or so i thought.

So as couples do we swapped a few "private" pics when we hadnt seen each other for a while etc etc but yesterday the gf's mother somehow got into my gf's hotmail, saw my mail with 3 ehem...pics of a saucy variety.

So now Im public enemy number 1. I think they see me as some kind of sexual deviant! (im 24 and shes 21 btw) so im a grown man!! its riduculous.

But thats not even the good part... today my girlfriend rang me and told me to check my mails, so up i go and she had sent me the mail with the pics in it, at first i was confused and then i looked a little closer.... her mother had actually forwarded the mail with the pics from my gf's mail to her own mail!!! and she sent the pics back to my gf(her daughter) today saying im a disgrace and she cant see me anymore etc etc!!!

Absolutely crazy situation! Anyway im not that bothered (a little embarrassed) but hell i done nothing wrong! What 2 adults do is their own business!

What id like to know is what can i do about her taking my pictures?? have i a leg to stand on, any legal implications of her stealing private pictures of me (and threatening her daughter to post them on facebook)??? Is she breaking any laws??

Thanks all, hope that gave you a laugh because i dont know whether to laugh or cry!!!

I feel for you man, and in a way quite a funny story I don't think its a question of being liberal or otherwise, a lot of parents would freak out if confronted with this scenario. That said it sounds as if the mother is somewhat intrusive if she is accessing her daughter's email. I would let things blow over for a week or so, and assuming she is on your side (or is she the one saying ye can't see each other any more??), use your girlfriend to see how the land lies. I would then apologise to her parents (presumably by email if they are too far away) - of course the content of this apology and indeed the general effort you go to depends on how strongly you feel about her! Remember you might both be adults but in their eyes she is still a child (way parents tend to think imo!)

It depends on what country she is in as to whether she is breaking any laws I would think. Are both of you in these pictures or just you? She is unlikely to do this to her own daughter. Are you identifiable in these pictures?

LegacyUser

Thanks tommy,

ill clarify a few things.

There definiitly is an issue of them being too protective and far from liberal also. But obviously i appreciate nobody wants to see that!

Yeah its the mother saying to my gf that she cant see me anymore!

Also to clarify, they are in ireland and i am in ireland, we only live 50 minutes apart, they are just not from here so its a bit of a culture difference which is making the problem bigger than it is!

Yeah the pictures are of just me and yes unfortunately its me i them, and it ws from my email anyways.

ash2008

how did your gf's mother get into her hotmail in the first place. She sounds very controlling, snooping around private emails. But i am shocked that not only did she do that, but that she is threatening to post private pictures which were quite clearly not intended for her, onto facebook. I mean, its not as if you left pics lying around for her to find, you sent them to a private email account.

If my mother did that to my boyf, id be absolutely furious. Can your gf get access to her email account (not that i condone that, but the mother did do it first) and delete the email with the pics? i dont think its a laughing matter at all...imagine this was the other way round and your dad saved naked pics of your gf and then threatened to post them on facebook.

I dont know anything about the legality of it, but she is making threats and it seems very wrong to me what she is doing. But then her blackmail is not to do with money or anything, she wants you to stay away from your daughter - so maybe that would just be considered a civil matter you have to sort out yourself. You could always phone a solicitor and ask them in a hypothetical way. I hope you get it sorted OP

Neyite

Dont apologise. you have nothing to apologise for. if anyone deserves an apology, its you. your privacy has been invaded, not anyone elses.

your girlfriend owes you an apology for firstly letting her mother into her email account, and secondly for not keeping private data secure, and the mother owes her daughter one for snooping in her email, forwarding on email, and her threats.

tell your girlfriend to sort it out. its her fault both for giving her mother the password, and also not letting you know beforehand that someone else has access and for you not to send anything private.

imagine if you told the mother you have ones of her daughter that you are forwarding to your dad to do what he wants with on the internet, would she still feel justified with her plan?

LegacyUser

tell your girlfriend to sort it out. its her fault both for giving her mother the password, and also not letting you know beforehand that someone else has access and for you not to send anything private.

+1million

Its all very well blaming the mother but at the end of the day your girlfriend either gave her mother the password, or at least knew her mother had access to the account. If you were swopping photos over this email your girlfriend knew that her mother could access them and she was out of order letting you send them, she should have at least warned you.

There definiitly is an issue of them being too protective and far from liberal also.

For gods sake wake up, your girlfriend is 21, shes a grown woman, she let her mother log into her email account! Shes not a child, why give her mother the password?!

At the end of the day this really says more about your girlfriend than her mother, no parent is going to be impressed that their daughter is sending dirty pics, shes her daughter its understandable, yes her reaction is on the extreme side but your girlfriend brought this on you and herself by giving her mother the password and letting you send pictures when she knew her mother had access to her account!! Your anger is misplaced here, at least the mothers actions are understandable, your girlfriends however aren't.

kylith

Tell your gf to tell her mother to cop on. If my mother hacked into my email account and started snooping through my private emails I would be absolutely livid. Both you and your gf are adults and can email each other any pictures you like.

If she does post them on Facebook, which I think is unlikely, you can report her profile as distributing pornographic content and FB will shut it down.

LegacyUser

Guys guys guys, I never said she gave her the password...

Of course she didnt give her mother the password and of course my girlfriend didnt know that she had access to it! You guys just pulled that idea from nowhere!

It turned out that my girlfriend hadnt logged out of hotmail properly and her mother went on to hotmail and my girlfriend was still logged in. Obviously at that stage any sensible person would log out but she snooped! Although i made it know that she should have secured the mail in a better place but still you wouldnt expect people to go through your mails let alone copy them!!

For gods sake wake up, your girlfriend is 21, shes a grown woman, she let her mother log into her email account! Shes not a child, why give her mother the password?!

See above, that didnt happen!


Im with you guys anyways (the ones who read the OP properly anyways) its crazy what she has done! ive already equated it to my dad taking my gfs ics and trying to post them on fb! unbelievable!

Mostly i just want to know if there is anything i can do to put the ****s p the mother, involve the police somehow, for peace sake i wouldnt but id like to know that i have a right to just so i can say it to her!

LegacyUser

OP - just happened to have been reading about a case in America - lot more serious and tragic consequences than this, i wont go into details but it did say in the article that:
"Collecting or viewing sexual images without consent is a fourth-degree crime. Transmitting them is a third-degree crime with a maximum prison term of five years."

now bear in mind, this is the US but perhaps there are some similar laws here? Call a solicitor and find out. Even if you dont plan to use it, perhaps a few threats of your own here will make her mother back down.