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Forgive or Forget

  • 29-09-2010 4:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Am just back from a week long break with a friend from work. TBH had reservations about this person before I went ( reputation as being negative) but we were both off at the same time and needed some sun.

    Anyway from the time we got there let's call her "jen" moaned and complained about everything. She was never happy about any aspect of the holiday (accomodation, food, pool) and everything seemed to be my fault despite her making all the bookings! When she wasn't in a good mood she treated me like dirt (ignoring me or just being pig ignorant, making snide or hurtful comments) which I found very upsetting. She was also rude to staff we enountered which I was mortified about.

    Anyway, there was no big bust up or anything but am tired of being nice to people and pleasing people who treat me like dirt when it suits. I saw Jen in work today and said that I found her behaviour unacceptable towards me and I thought it best if we cooled the friendship. Obviosuly will still be polite and civil towards her and will not discuss what happenned with anyone else in work etc.

    I felt all proud of myself being assertive etc but then started to feel bad. This girl is very insecure, jealous and quite unhappy in herself and I felt how tough it must to be her etc.

    is this a bit hasty on my part ending the friendhship? Should I have been more forgiving?

    An apology from her would have gone a long way. I told her how I felt and how she treated me and she didn't apologise. She mentioned one or two very minor things that annoyed her about me and I immediately apologised.

    Would like to hear from others. What would you have done? Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I knew a person like that - stayed friends with her for a number of years.

    Her behaviour to people got so bad like your friend that I just stopped taking calls or returning texts.

    Wasn't worth the stress or the hassle.

    Remember being away and every little thing she didn't like she'd moan about. She wasn't happy unless everything was done her way. She was rude to people - embarrassingly so. I couldn't deal with the constant negativity and the fact that everything had to be done her way....

    I don't miss her at all.

    there are better people out there to befriend.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You have to see this person in work on a daily basis. I would swallow my pride and apologise if you came off a little harsh and say that the holiday wasn't what you expected. You don't have to be best buddys with this person but its easier to keep things pleasant if you have to work together.


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