Am I mad not to take this position?

LegacyUser

Hey folks going anon. for this one! It might sound like a petty complaint to some but its a big deal to me. I have recently finished a masters which took longer than it should have due to depression issues I was suffering from from years. This is someway remedied and I successfully came back and finished my thesis thankfully after deferring it the first year Between my degree and masters I will have spent 6 years in college.

Now another opportunity has arisen just after my submitting my thesis. I went for a PhD interview, purely because it was linked to my area and it is funded each year to the tune of about 20,000, and I was encouraged quite a bit by my family etc. I must have been the only man/woman in the place going for the interview that didn't really desperately want it, and low and behold I got it! Now I am stuck at a crossroads. I feel burnt out due to a lot of things, not least of all having spent the summer on my thesis and due to depression. I also feel a bit daunted by the prospect, though I've always gotten excellent results throughout college. If I don't take it, it would in a way be a relief. I could maybe focus on other things that interest me, rather than having spent almost a decade in college straight by time I am finished.

That said if I don't take it, what else will I do? I am afraid I will regret whatever decision I make! Am I mad not to be jumping on this given the way the economy is? I have a few months off too before I start, so I am thinking if I take a bit of a break maybe I will feel ready.

Be cruel or kind, maybe someone with a bit of experience of life can tell me what they think, though I know only I can decide.

Thoughts, opinions or further questions welcomed!

LegacyUser

You are right to take the time and think it through rather than jumping straight into it just because you think you 'should' have soemthing to do in this recession. I wonder how many people are into things they dont want to do just because of the recession.

You mention being burnt out. You defo need a good few months to recoop and regroup before taking up this PhD (if you do decide). PhDs are not easy, if they were evryone would be doign them. But in the positive side you have managed to do something that many people dont when they start the process-that is to actually have funding in place so you will not be struggling for money at the start anyway!! The break will do yuo good. I was majortly burnt out after handing in the PhD but had the whole Summer off and now have a great job and raring to go again!

Is the PhD in an area you are intersted in? If you say no well I have two views on this that might make you change your mind. (a) you grow to be interested and dare say love the area and (b) you often can alter or slowly manipulate the topic around to soemthing that interests you. I wouldnt let that side of thinsg put you off.

Did you like writing your thesis? Did you like working on your own, managing your own time, doing the literature review etc etc. If no well thats all a PhD is. More of this!! No classes, no buddies everyday arouind with you in exactly the same positionas you!

You mention depression. The PhD can be a lonely lonely route depending on the area and the Dept you are in. Consider that seriously. The support system just migth not be there for you. Do you know the potential supervisor well? Have theuy other students you could get advice from? I saw 2 people frop out of their PHDs simply because of supervisor problems.

What are the other options job wise? Think of all the positives a PhD program will. Not only after it (job wise) but also during it. The chance to travel to conferences was my fav part, been all over the UK, US and parts of Europe. Usually funded esp with E20,000 per year! The chance to travel to take future jobs is huge too. Im in the US now, dream job!!

I spent 9 years in college so 100% understand what you mean. When I started there was no recession but there was no other jobs either for me w/o some sort of postgrad. If i had know what it would involve would I have done it? prob not. But the feeling of having managed it is brill but couldnt have down it without the supoort of family, supervisor and other Posgrads in my Department. My non-phD friends were useless to me, no one really really understands!

All the best with the decision!

dudara

The PhD route is mentally quite tough, especially when you have to push yourself that final time to get the thesis done, prep for the viva etc.

I'm really glad I did mine - but I did rush into it straight from undergrad. The only regret I have is not considering all my options a little more. So take your time and be sure in your decision.

I'm no longer involved in my field of research - in fact I'm not even a physicist anymore. But I did learn life lessons during my PhD studies (school of hard knocks!) and I really grew up during the whole process. The whole thing has been extremely beneficial to me in my current position.

I am in favour of pushing yourself and working towards the high goal of a doctorate. If you don't decide to do it, make sure it's for the right reasons and not because you would be "relieved" by not doing it.

boobar

I think from reading your post that you're not totally ready to do this. You obviously have a lot of talent to be accepted on to the program. Congratulations on completing your masters in challenging cicumstances, you should be proud of this achievement.

I think, step back, and ask what do I want to do, rather than I should do this....

You mention "a decade in college", I think you really have a view on what you want to do. Don't worry about it too much, best of luck to you.

kamituco

go for it.

u can do it.

this recession is gona last a very very very long time.... theres not many jobs out there... ur options workwise are very limited... so to the fact even if u do find a job.... it may not be the "right" one... so wats the point in bein stuck in an "ok" job wen u can do the phd and come out like a lion at the end of it... by then the recession wont be as bad.

also... humans get old... why not do it while uve no ties... mortgage or kids etc. other things get in the way if u leave it and ull get too pre-occupied with other life tasks.

time is nothing.

remember that as humans we tend to sell ourselves too short..... if u think u feel ur not ready for it... then ask urself.... how many times have u said that to urself in the past... and how many times have you decided to go through it... and after being through it realised.... yes i did do this... and not only did i do it... i did it very well.

if u think ur really really not ready for it, dont do it... but if ur 50/50... go for it.

thats my 2 cents worth

LegacyUser

The Phd road is a long one and a lonely one.

1. You REALLY REALLY need to be passionate about what you are doing as its going to be the same thing for 3,4,5 years

2. Need to have a clear understanding of what you are actually going to do, the famous 'research question' if you don't you are wasting at least a year

3. Max payment per annum is 18,000 anything above that will be taxed. No government body will pay more than 18,000

4. Beware the hand that feeds you. Funding bodies are fickle and can and do pull the plug. Plus you will find yourself tied up doing things for the 'project' and not on your work.

5. Depression among Phd students is more then norm than the exception. Long lonely days with no end in sight and less than great money

6. Post Phd if you are an arts person god help you getting a job, lecture jobs are rare as hens teeth plus any other jobs are short term contracts

7. Yes the money is better afterwards I'm up 11k but I paid a high price mentally

LegacyUser

Hey all, OP here. Thanks so much for all your thought out replies, definitely given me more to think about, and your encouragement and warnings. None the wiser at the moment unfortunately and I have only the weekend to make up my mind.

I kind of agree with kamituco in a way - i am 50/50 and if I don't do this it is the death knell for me working there (I do at the moment on a small project that ends soon), well in the particular dept./college anyway. I would not be able to afford to do a PhD on my own buck, at least not for years.

On the other hand, I am aware of how lonely it will be as pointed out by unregd - would I say I am really really passionate about the topic? Not as such, but then I am not hugely so about anything! (Prob side effect of depression medication too, I've noticed that I am in neutral mostly emotionally now, as opposed to the mess I was before).

Boobar is right too - I think I will ask myself that question this weekend - What do I want to do\? I will put thoughts of career and recession aside a bit and mull on that.

Thanks also dudara and phdid it - i am well usewd to working on my own and indeed seem to function better that way! Had not thought of the networking and conferencing opportunities Phdid it. In terms of jobs, I really do need this qualification if I am ever to be on really good money.

Keep the thoughts coming folks, it all helps!

I'd advise you not to do it for a variety of reasons.

1) A PhD is a bloody big commitment. It's hard enough for those who really want to do it. If you have little motivation in the first place, you're probably not going to see it through.

2) The money isn't great. 20 grand is great for a 'grant' but you're expected to do as much as or more than you'd do in a full time job. You say you'd be on great money afterwards, but that's still a few years away. And would better pay really be worth several years of unhappiness?

3) I know this isn't really your concern, but as you said, other people would kill for this opportunity. I know when I went for my MA funding interview, they found it really hard to decide who to fund. There's probably someone who was almost as good as you who now won't be able to do their PhD, or will have to work their way through it. I know I would have been so angry and frustrated if I lost out on my dream course and funding to someone who was doing it for the sake of it. This maybe isn't your problem but personally it's a factor for me when I apply for stuff - will I appreciate it as much as other people would?

I just think doing things because you think you should is an awful idea in the long run. I've been guilty of it and I'm trying to stop doing it, stop thinking about what looks good on paper and what other people would do, and start focusing on what I actually want.

boobar

anonhereagain wrote: »

Hey all, OP here. Thanks so much for all your thought out replies, definitely given me more to think about, and your encouragement and warnings. None the wiser at the moment unfortunately and I have only the weekend to make up my mind.

I kind of agree with kamituco in a way - i am 50/50 and if I don't do this it is the death knell for me working there (I do at the moment on a small project that ends soon), well in the particular dept./college anyway. I would not be able to afford to do a PhD on my own buck, at least not for years.

On the other hand, I am aware of how lonely it will be as pointed out by unregd - would I say I am really really passionate about the topic? Not as such, but then I am not hugely so about anything! (Prob side effect of depression medication too, I've noticed that I am in neutral mostly emotionally now, as opposed to the mess I was before).

Boobar is right too - I think I will ask myself that question this weekend - What do I want to do\? I will put thoughts of career and recession aside a bit and mull on that.

Thanks also dudara and phdid it - i am well usewd to working on my own and indeed seem to function better that way! Had not thought of the networking and conferencing opportunities Phdid it. In terms of jobs, I really do need this qualification if I am ever to be on really good money.

Keep the thoughts coming folks, it all helps!

Hello OP, the best of luck with your decision.

I would like to add something else, you have to make a choice this weekend, but it's not a case of one decision being the right one and the other decision being the wrong one.

You have achieved an awful lot by getting a Masters, you should be proud of that. You've also risen up from depression, be proud of this especially.

You seem to be a very strong person, you'll be fine in life. Be kind to yourself not hard on yourself.

Very best of luck to you.

Boobar