Need advice

Quality

Right, an in law of mine is severely obese! Over the last few months he is getting bigger and bigger! I am really starting to worry for his health!
My partner got a shock when he saw him the other day, he could barely get out of his car!

What is the best way to approach him? His wife is sick of
Saying it to him! I am seriously worried for
The strain on his heart?

Trashbat

I would probably say don't.

The wife has said it to him numerous times, so its not like it hasn't been brought to his attention.

no need to unnecessarily make him uncomfortable. for all you know he is very aware of the problem and there might be underlying medical issues here.

mikemac

A GP can do an annual medical.
Some companies send their staff on these, maybe they thought I was chronically lazy in work :pac:

Get his wife to do this.

After that, he and his wife can talk it over with the doctor.

I would suggest you don't say anything to the guy, however well meaning.

Major Lovechild

I think you should tell him that he needs to look after himself. Obesity is not an illness - it is a weakness and should not be encouraged by silence. It is also huge a contributor to premature deaths and serious illnesses.
You will be doing him a favour by getting him to open up about it and you could perhaps encourage him to be more active by working out with him.

Quality

No I feel I definitely need to say something!

I could not
Live with myself if he dropped dead and left his 3 kids fatherless when I could have at least tried to help!

He is family'

Fittle

Trashbat wrote: »

I would probably say don't.

The wife has said it to him numerous times, so its not like it hasn't been brought to his attention.

no need to unnecessarily make him uncomfortable. for all you know he is very aware of the problem and there might be underlying medical issues here.

How do you know the wife has said it to him numerous times

OP, I'd say something alright, but I'd be as discreet as possible - maybe talk to him about his health, rather than his weight etc. I'd also offer him support of some kind - easy to say 'you need to lose weight' and then walk away! Offer him support by suggesting you go for a walk with him one evening a week...or go to the local WW class with him to start off - something like that.

I agree that if you are genuinely concerned, you should say something.

thefeatheredcat

I would say it out to him, but not bluntly, inquire if everything is ok with and his life, and bring it up then as it could be due to a number of issues not necessarily just poor diet/lack of exercise.

You're right to be concerned OP especially with the health risks. He might not be taking what his wife is saying seriously as could be in denial about it so coming from someone else might be a help.

at the end of the day it's up to him to change his life for the better of himself but do let him know you care for him (and his wife should reinforce this too) regardless of whatever size they are and it doesn't change your relationship to them and don't pass judgement on them either.

if they do decide themselves to lose weight, give them bucketloads of encouragement and support along the way as it's not easy to keep going.