Ex having baby

LegacyUser

My ex girlfriend is having my baby,im devastated,I dont what to do now.Im so sad over this.

IrishEyes19

Depressed because she's your ex and having the baby and now things will be awkward?

Or depressed because you're now tied to this committment? Elaborate a bit more please

Motley Crue

confused_ wrote: »

My ex girlfriend is having my baby,im devastated,I dont what to do now.Im so depressed over this.

Is it your child? Or does it remind you that you could have been a father if the relationship had of worked?

In any case, why are you so depressed, these things happen for a reason - and if it's fatherhood you're after, I'm sure that will happen soon enough

LegacyUser

Im sad because i dont want a futute with this women.

jimmycrackcorm

confused_ wrote: »

Im depressed because i dont want a futute with this women.

Well then don't have a future with her - have a future with your child instead. Op, you are not being very clear about your issue.

Squiggler

OP, in all liklihood this woman doesn't want a future with you either, and you don't have to.

But the two of you have engaged in acts that have created a life and you need to behave like mature adults and talk about what will be best for the child.

I have a few close aquaintances (male) who found themselves in your shoes when they were in their early 20's. They take an equal share (or as much as they can) in parenting. It has meant a lot of compromise in their lives, paying half the costs of childcare so their ex could work, curtailing their social lives to spend quality time with their child and having to put the child before other relationships. A lot of separated and divorced couples I know could learn a lot from how those guys and girls handled what could only be a very difficult situation.

You need to sit down with your Ex and talk to her. Before you do you should decide what your limits are. You don't want to get back with her, you need to let her know that, but at the same time decide how much involvement, time and money wise, you are willing to have.

I really hope that you can be man enough to be a good father to that child. The guys I mentioned earlier have beautiful daughters who dote on them, and are excellent fathers in every way - but only because they put in the effort.

metrovelvet

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Well then don't have a future with her - have a future with your child instead. Op, you are not being very clear about your issue.

Unfortunately it doesn't' work that way. No matter how little you have to do with this person its like being married to them, but all the crap parts of marriage and non of the good parts.

neveah

I have a good friend who became pregnant after a short term relationship and she found out she was pregnant after the relationship broke up. She went ahead with the pregnancy and she adores her son as does all her friends and family. There was never a future between her and her ex and at the start things were difficult between them, I think this is natural because it is a huge shock for both parties and not the way ideally that they would want to be bringing a child into this world but their love for their child was greater. They now respect each other and are cordial. Her son loves his father and sees him on a weekly basis. Equally the father adores the little boy. He has a new partner and a new child now as well and my friend's child loves his new sibling and she bought a present to give to the new baby on his behalf.

The point is you can work this situation out and still have a future for yourself. I bet you if you asked all those other fathers they wouldn't give up their sons/daughters for anything. It's hard now to imagine how you are going to feel when you have the baby in your arms, remember you are in shock right now. If you can be mature about this situation then you can make it work. It is not the worst thing in the world to happen. Just always do right by the child and you can't go wrong.