Feeling Sad - let down by friends?

LegacyUser

It was my birthday yesterday. And I felt really lonely and very down in myself. I thought I had a good number of friends but I got very few happy birthday wishes.

I got no more than 3 text messages, 0 phone calls(outside of parents and gf).
Even on facebook I only got 2 messages from a possible 110!
I thought ok maybe people are not on facebook as much. However, I could see people were posting comments, etc so must have seen it was my bday.
And only today is another friends bday and mutual friends posted loads of birthday wishes on his page.

I just felt (and still do) so sad and disappointment in these people who I have felt all along to be good friends. And when I see other peoples facebook pages with tons of happy bday wishes I get even more depressed.

Maybe, I need to make new friends or try and meet up more often with old friends. I don't know.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think my activity on facebook is a reasonable measure of how much I care about my friends and I'm sure lots of people are like that.

I would still recommend you making new friends for your own sake and re-engaging with the ones you have so you don't require facebook validation. If you felt lonely did you arrange a night out or throw a party and if not, why not?

astra2000

Hi op I agree with ickle magoo dont use facebook as your measure to how many true friends you have, you should judge if some one is your friend because of how they behave in real life not on facebook. Half the time I dont notice the notification telling me its someones birthday does not mean I dont value their friendship. Also maybe your privacy settings are set to keep your birth date hidden?
My advice re facebook would be that it is for having fun and should that stop to be the case then maybe you should consider wheather its worth investing time in something that is causing you angst.
Belated birthday wishes:)

LegacyUser

OP, two years ago on my birthday only about 10 people wished me happy birthday and this was back in the day of bebo when you would get an email about your friends birthdays. I was upset about it as I thought I would get a lot more, but I didnt let it get to me and after a while I forgot about it.

It was my birthday there again recently and I got nearly 6 times the amount and I dont think anything has changed since then I might even have less 'current friends' then I did then.

Also on FB, I tend not to look at the birthday tab but only cop on if other friends have been wishing happy birthday to someone.

Oh and Happy Birthday

IrishEyes19

Happy Birthday, first of all, OP and second, I do agree that possibly they didnt even look at the fb tab. However out of the people who didnt wish it to, its those who do wish it to you, that do count. Maybe do expand your friend circle a bit if you feel its lacking, but this could be a one off. I wouldnt be too upset either.

candy-gal1

Happy birthday there and all, but your really putting too much emphasis on how many bday greetings you get imho.
I mean you got the important ones, parents and gf, anything other than that is a bonus tbh.

rere

Happy Birthday O.P!!


I often forget to wish my friends a happy birthday. It's not that I don't care it's just that there's so much going on that it slips my mind. It's probably the same with your friends.
Also some years I get 5 friends saying happy birthday and other years it's 50, doesnt seem to be a reason for it, it just works out ok.

You got messages of the most important people in your life so at least you have them.

j1974

dont feel bad about it, I turned 36 on saturday and got virtually no txts from friends. one thing ive noticed is, as you get older and your friends grow and socialise more, get into relationships, get new jobs, move, have babies etc etcetc, life just takes over. You should maybe txt those who you expected to txt you and jokingly let them know they owe you a drink!! if you let that bother you, you'll be sad alot in your life. people dont mean to let you down, we just dont remember and by then, a weeks gone by. youd be amazed how fast a day can go when you forget someones Bday.
you sound nice, dont let it get ya down.

LegacyUser

^^^ your right that when you get older, the wishes and whatnot decrease!

i turned 30 not so long ago and didn't even get a card from my mother! lol

happy birthday, OP

one thing i have learned in life is that there are alot of fake people out there ok? but there ARE genuine people out there as well, and if you befriend someone who is genuine - that is what should be most important to you! life is too short to be bothered with fake people. just nurture the relationships you have with awesome people! it's what helps make life worth living

quality, not quantity!

LegacyUser

birthday wishes wrote: »

^^^ your right that when you get older, the wishes and whatnot decrease!

i turned 30 not so long ago and didn't even get a card from my mother! lol

happy birthday, OP

one thing i have learned in life is that there are alot of fake people out there ok? but there ARE genuine people out there as well, and if you befriend someone who is genuine - that is what should be most important to you! life is too short to be bothered with fake people. just nurture the relationships you have with awesome people! it's what helps make life worth living

quality, not quantity!

+1. It was my birthday in June and I got no texts, calls, cards etc. Not even one, so Op, it sounds like youre doing OK. Facebook is toxic to your self esteem because you inevitably end up comparing what you have to what others seem to have. "Seem" being the keyword. You look at pictures o facebook of people and they look like they have these great nights out. But appearances are decieving. I was out a while ago with a group from work and the atmosphere was horrible due to in-fighting that was taking place at the time. The girls were all arguing with each other(whats new)but if you looked at the photos from that night youd think everybody was best pals for life. Some people get 100s of happy birthday messages and are still not happy. They want a big party or lots of presents or a specific type of present. The bottom line is you cant let the actions or inactions of others determine your level of happiness. If you get upset over the lack of birthday wishes from the people around you then youre in for a rough ride from life. Dont allow others to dictate how happy you are.