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Break up

  • 26-09-2010 5:43pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,
    basically coming very close to breaking up with my gf of a few years now. We're on a break a the mo to sort out thoughts. For a while now ive been unsure about the relationship, the reason being the spark seemed to be gone for me and I had lost all interest in sex with her, the attraction is just not there for me.I constantly find myself thinking about sex with other women and if Im out without her it becomes unbearable, but I could never cheat. Simply put Im not attracted to her, eventhough shes considered really pretty by friends etc. Thats the physical side.

    Emotionally I do love her and the thought of hurting her is absolutely destroying me at the mo but im also thinking am I stupid to throw what we have away. Personality wise I think she's perfect for me and I find it hard to imagine meeting anyone else so well matched to me in this regard, we get on so well.
    What im saying is should I try to get over this physical thing and be glad for having such a well matched girlfriend. I know people say looks wane but like I said, she's still good looking and Im not attracted to her, and im not sure if I ever even was to begin with (I know, I know, you ask how did you stay together 2 years if thats the case?? I have no idea, it just kind of started and was handy for both of us and went from there). I know after time your sex life loses some spice but when we're in bed I often have no interest even if we havent had sex for ages. I hate myself for the fact that this probably hurts her too.

    Just dreading if i do this now I'll regret it so badly, I have a pain in my chest now at the thought of leaving her. Its like a voice is saying to me now 'stop you stupid f**ker, you'll regret it when shes gone' yet on the other hand I feel almost no physical attraction which cant be right, can it.
    Any advice appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    OP, Im a little confused, when you say not attracted to her, do you mean you dont find her pretty or is it simply you literarly as you have said dont have the urge to get intimate with her.

    It seems you have gotten to a "friend" stage with her perhaps as you state you love her emotionally but not physically. Maybe its time to let go. Clearly she has gone from girlfriend to girl..........as a friend.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here
    I'd say its both to be honest. If its got to the friend stage why am i so afraid of breaking up with her, surely what we have is more than friendship, but I suppose ou have to be some way right as sexually there's not much goin on.


  • #4
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    Well I mean a relationship differs from a friendship due to intimacy, if you get my drift. So if the sex side is gone....its hard to see what is left.Obviously emotional love is just as important as sexual, but right now you speak of her as a really good friend who you cant bear to hurt.

    I suppose the question is, do you want to end it with her and be intimate with someone else. I cant imagine it lasting longer if all intimacy is gone. She must notice at this stage.


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