Am I an eejit ? (Sorry for length)

LegacyUser

Just would like an outside opinion here.

Early thirties male living and working in my home town.

Most of my work colleagues are not from this town and are on average 4-7 years younger that me. They mostly live together in one housing estate and therefore would spend a lot/most of their non-working time together (as they wouldn't know many people in this town). They head out a lot together and have house parties etc.. which is great.

I'm living at home (happily giving rent to my parents who are on restricted incomes) and was never a regular going-out-on-the-town person. Once or twice a month for me is grand. I think I had Social Anxiety as a teenager but have largely outgrown it.

I also am comfortable with my own company and am happy just using this job (not a Job I'm passionate about but a job's a job at the moment) as a paycheck and using all my non-work time on activities that have nothing to do with work. I try to minimize my work-life and expand other interests to keep me sane.

First started working in one department where I got on well enough with everyone despite not been one of the "cool" gang - but you know being on good terms with most people.

Recently however I've changed departments to one that checks the work of my former department. So there's tension there.

All the colleagues in the former dept now publicly hate me. As in blanking me in the corridor, ignoring me when they see me out in town. Very childish in my opinion. Schoolyard stuff.

It doesn't affect me deeply. It's just an uncomfortable irritation. But I don't like being treated like **** when I head out in my own town.

As a teenager, this situation would probably have been torture to me. But now it doesn't really bother me. I've recently got into a lot of spirituality issues and feel stronger in my core and don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I really couldn't care less whether people like me or not. I mean I never intentionally do harm to anyone but I know who/what I am and that isn't dependent on how popular I am.

Why am I posting ? Was out last night. Work colleagues were out too. They had some of their friends out with them. I said hello to one of them (the friends I hadn't met before) who basically treated me like **** - she obviously had been tipped of that I'm a social misfit/gob****e.

It kinda stung at the time.

I don't know what they want from me. An apology that I got a job in an opposing department ?( I just fancied a change, expand my CV and to see which work I prefer).

Oh I don't know. Maybe I'm now that early thirties loser that younger people pity in nightclubs. However in my head, I'm ageless. I mean I've never been identified with my age. It's only a number.

Maybe I just need to throw myself into other activities and stop wasting time thinking about this crap ?

Or am I am ignorant fool ? I know that my work colleagues are lovely people at the bottom of it all but it seems that I've become the looked-down-upon-pitied loner on the edge of the circle.

It is uncomfortable. I don't think I intentionally try to be a jerk !! I realize that if this is the extent of my life problems, then I am a very lucky man. I think I just needed to vent and put into form as opposed to replaying in my mind.

Any advice/thoughts ?

Zen65

Whatishappeninghere? wrote: »

I realize that if this is the extent of my life problems, then I am a very lucky man. I think I just needed to vent and put into form as opposed to replaying in my mind.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with this.

You cannot determine the choices that others make. Unless there is something that you are doing at work to intimidate or upset your colleagues you have nothing to be sorry for. Remain strong in yourself and in time they will find some other outlet for their childish behaviour.

Be at peace,

Z

astra2000

Whatishappeninghere? wrote: »

Or am I am ignorant fool ? I know that my work colleagues are lovely people at the bottom of it all but it seems that I've become the looked-down-upon-pitied loner on the edge of the circle.

It is uncomfortable. I don't think I intentionally try to be a jerk !! I realize that if this is the extent of my life problems, then I am a very lucky man. I think I just needed to vent and put into form as opposed to replaying in my mind.

Any advice/thoughts ?

Your workmates probably are lovely people, unfortunatly even the nicest of people can behave none too nicely when they are in a clique. You are comfortable doing your own thing and dont feel the need to conform good for you. If you are happy with yourself and arent doing anything that hurts other people hold your head high and dont worry about anyone else.

LegacyUser

op, have you sent on reports to your old team lately? last week I asked a friend/colleague for an impartial review on something i'd been working on - i was too close to it, i needed a blind review - and the tone he used in his response was so critical and condescending that I was quite hurt. I got over it, sort of, because he's like that, but if you've sent something through that got passed around, they could be seeing you as being a complete c-word. he could have said the same things constructively, but they came across as telling me i was useless -the same doc was reviewed by a senior exec and he was full of praise...

i'm not saying don't be thorough and don't avoid saying things that need to be said... but if you want to socialise with these people (and they live there now, so it's their town pretty much as much as yours) giving constructive reviews rather than criticism will help. end of teh day the content is the same, only the words are different.