Long term relationship......what to do now?

LegacyUser · 26-09-2010 10:41am #1

Well Basically i'm 18 and so is my girlfriend. We've been going out since we we're 15 and just had our three year anniversary. We get along great, rarely argue, best friends and all that. No problem what so ever.

Except one, I feel that I might get left behind and not enjoy being 18. All my friends go out and meet different girls, and have no commitment. When we eventually break up I don't want to go back out into the dating world having only ever kissed/ slept with one person. I wouldn't even know how to approach a girls in a bar/club. The last time I done that was a nervous question under a school shed.

To repeat, I love being with my girlfriend but this is one issue which has been annoying me for the summer. Any advice or comments would be much appreciated.

IrishEyes19 · 26-09-2010 12:01pm

This is why I think long term relationships that start at that age can be disasterous, OP, especially when you're so young and unexperienced in dating. It cant be easy going out to clubs and so on with the lads at your age and having to stand back because you've made a commitment. That saying Im not telling you either to break up, but honestly, your so young and really I wouldnt recommend "settling down" so early especially when you're only beginning to live. You sound like you already bemoan the fact that you're tied down and thats not wrong either. Its normal to feel like that. Best thing to do is to sit down and analyse whether you want this or not.

To be honest if you're only reason for not ending is because you feel you couldnt approach other girls after her, then you shouldnt be in a relationship at all, you're heart isnt in it, in my opinion, and maybe being single for a bit would do you some good.

tinkerbell · 26-09-2010 1:35pm

OP, you're only 18. People change a lot when they go to college and are out of school so you could be two completely different people in a year. That said, even in college, you both may still want to be together.

And if you do break up with her just to go out and have lots of casual flings with different girls, then you may well regret it. The grass ain't always greener.

You should only break up with your girlfriend if it is not working out. Not for just to have fun with other women, that's a silly excuse.

LegacyUser · 26-09-2010 5:58pm

Op you say "when we eventually break up". Meaning you never saw her as the one and only girl you will even be with, the one you will marry and have children with. So why bother wasting your time in this going nowhere relationship. Get out now and have some fun! And when the time is right and you are a lot older, you will meet a girl who you want to settle down with long term.

LegacyUser · 26-09-2010 6:03pm

It's a tough one. My brother is just turned 17, himself and his gf had been going out for 4yrs (since he was 13 and her 14). They only broke up a few days ago. I always felt it was too serious too young, but they were mad about each other. In the end I think they both decided to end it based on what you're saying, she is 18 and going out and getting chatted up etc.. He likes to have the laugh with is mates, and didn't want to be in a serious relationship anymore. Though he said they still loved each other.

I told him that if it's meant to be, maybe they will get back together. But otherwise have fun while you're young plenty of times for relationships when you're older. In your case I think you need to find out how your gf feels, and tell her how you feel, you never know she might have the same thoughts.

LegacyUser · 27-09-2010 2:34am

i hear this all the time and ive heard it many many times in regards to myself

i started going out with my gf when we were both 16....22 now.

all my friends thought i was mad for having a serious relationship that young that i should be going out meeting different girls every week etc.

but i was and am happy with my gf. i never have and never will see the attraction in throwing away something i love just so that i have permission to stick my man parts in strangers. i have fun going out with my friends and my gf. i can and i do, do all the things a single person can do but with the added bonus of having somebody that i love.

if you feel like you want to put going out and trying it on with women above your gf then i really dont think that you truly love her.

just think about what you have and what your friends have. which would make YOU happier

Long term relationship......what to do now?

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