CBT - a couple of queries.

freakmagnet

Hi everyone,

I started with a CBT therapist while back- I've had about 7 or 8 sessions over about 12 weeks or so.

The therapist was a recommendation from a friend of a friend, and by all accounts, seems very well regarded (i did some research).

The therapist is a nice person and certainly understands what i say, and i feel comfortable that the therapist 'gets' a lot of what i say.

Now, before i get to the crux of the issue (not my actual issues, my issue with my CBT expereince) - let me just say, i know things don't happen over night. I also know that people have very high expectations when they make the plunge into therapy - so did i, and I've readjusted. However, that said i think 8 sessions is good enough time to make some preliminary judgements on how things are shaping up, what are the benefits, and essentially whether its having an impact or not.

I don't think it had any impact. I talk, therapist listens. Therapist talks, I listen. We understand what we say to each other. However, nothing is done to challenge beliefs that i have (i feel stupid saying that, because, talking about the need to challenge something, presupposes that the belief is wrong). We talk about particular mechanisms that CBT utilizes, but i feel there is no application to me. I don't leave the session with any action plan - or any awareness of what i might subconsciously be doing to myself in every day life. I feel i haven't been given any tools to garden my own mental health.

Now, i'm sure many of you that have had CBT, will, and your probably thinking this now, say - say it to your therapist! Say what you said above etc. I have - i have mentioned all of the above. The answer was satisfactory at the time, i felt more assured etc. (The answer being, talking can mean certain issues pop up that you though weren't important, but are - and - Therapy isn't necessarily as structured a I might like it - and i do like a bit of structure on a process).

The answer was fine for a while.. and i began to sit back and let things evolve more - which had some benefits. However, i still feel that 1) thoughts i have are not challenged (is that not what cbt is essentially about?) 2) i feel i have not tools, i feel like i haven't learned anything...

This has left me feeling in one of two ways...

When i'm pessimistic, i feel like I've convinced the therapist that everything i say is right, and that everything is beyond repair. And hence, there is nothing to challenge, and no tools to give me.

And when i'm not so pessimistic... maybe thats all therapy is? Essentially paying for a chat to a relative stranger - given the freedom to say thing that you might not necessarily say to a friend. Being able to shed a tear and not be too embarrassed. The therapist can suggest different ideologies and theories by various eminent psychotherapists.. and thats that. Maybe even my readjusted expectations are still too high, and this is all i should expect? Maybe chatting without a structure is all therapy is...? I'm a good listener.. maybe i should charge for my listening and giving practical advice?!


Money is way down my list of priorities, and i'm not concerned about the costs of anything that i get a benefit from - but i feel this is an expensive process that i'm not getting any benefit from, and well, I've got plenty of other things that i need funds for. I can't justify the expenditure without benefit forthcoming..

So, what been your experience (without the detail of your actual issues, of course)? Were you challenged? Were you given tools? Or is it just a chat without too much direction? Can you put your finger on a benefit that you acquired from the process, what was it and how was it achieved?

Personally i'm thinking of knocking it on the head - i feel that therapist comes very well regarded and so this MUST be all therapy is. I certainly don't feel like going through the initial couple of sessions (telling my story) with another therapist.

Thanks!

LegacyUser

I had to respond as I have done a course of 8 sessions of CBT albeit a year ago now. Have u been given any homework? CBT is very proactive so I understand your concern.
Were you asked to write down your thoughts, keep a journal? I won't go into too much detail here but that kind of thing?Every week I had homework that related to my particular difficulties and in turn I was given the tools to challenge these situations like perhaps a way to disarm a negative thought in a particula situation.
With CBT you should be doing work every week, writing down stuff, doing a particular action and noting how it felt that sort of thing, in turnt the CBT therapist provides you with tools to challenge these. This is the main key to CBT and why it is so popular as a short amount of sessions can have a very positive outcome.
I'm very intersted to see what your therapists approach is. If you are not happy with your therapist do move elsewhere as CBT can be a fantasticly positive thing.
On another note, if your therapist has been giving you homework then it may be that it is just taking time, you are sort of slowly breaking down old patterns.
I hope I've made sense.

freakmagnet

No, i never got any homework to do. A lot of my issues go back a good few years. Grant it, the therapist does try to catch things that i say about my life now, which may be because of things that happened back then (or thoughts that may have been formed then) - but there has been no home work, or i feel, no tools given. Maybe the very fact that i'm talking about things that i rarely ever talk about is the benefit? To be hnest, that makes things worse for me in the short term - bringing up a load of memories - but maybe thats what this process is about? Maybe i'll feel the advantage of this in a few months? Because if i don't, then, i feel like i've probably gained nothing... Wel, nothing might be a bit strong... but almost nothing..

Chuchoter

Personally I found therapy to be a bit of a waste of time. It has led to me making changes in my life, but as you said, once the therapist isn't there anymore I feel like I'm emotionally back where I started in some ways.

Delicate_Dlite

Hi,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. I have been seeing a therapist for a year now. I started with a 'regular' therapist, up until march/april, then switched to CBT. Due my original therapist being unavailable.

I must admit I was skeptical of therapy working for me. And at times, I do think I should have more to show for it. I understand your frustrations completely.

I'm not an expert, this is just from my personal experience. I found doing 'regular' therapy, one to one 'chats' helped, at the time I didn't notice it. I felt worse, as you say it brings it all back as you're dealing with it.

Although it wasn't a plan to do this type of therapy and then switch to CBT, I'm so glad I did, as I feel, it 'freed' me up and put me in a place where I could use CBT effectively.

In my CBT, I have alot of paper work to fill out during the sessions and some to read/review inbetween. This only really came into play after a couple of monthes. I did at one time get very bored/annoyed at spending time and money assigning emotions to things and giving them %.

I know you say you've mentioned it to your therapist, but have you said you would like some way to chart your progress.? From my understanding and experience of CBT, it's a half the dr. and half the person identifing the problem and the solution.

I wish I could give you a definite plan of action, advicewise, but I'd suggest talking to your therapist and saying exactly tht you feel like you need tools, a plan forward.

And ignore all the highly recommended nonsense, finding a therapist u click with is 90% of the problem. (once they're qualified ofc ). I got along well with my first therapist and did have some progress. I thought she was as good as therapy got, but with my CBT person, it's amazing how an even better rapport can speed the process along.

Best of Luck

LegacyUser

Yes I do think they should be giving u homework, CBT is a very proactive approach. Maybe ask your therapist about this and if you are not happy please do change your therapist, and don't give up as this is a very effective type of therapy.

freakmagnet

Yes, i did put all my concerns to the therapist, even that of lack of progress / evidence of progress.

Thanks for you input guys - i think i might leave it for now, and revisit sometime in the future.