Wife won't sleep with me

LegacyUser

I broached this with my wife, suggested we see a counsellor.

Now she won't talk to me at all, completely avoids me.

Married 11 years, have gone entire years without sex, not healthy, not very healthy at all.

CDfm

BOB54321 wrote: »

I broached this with my wife, suggested we see a counsellor.

Now she won't talk to me at all, completely avoids me.

Married 11 years, have gone entire years without sex, not healthy, not very healthy at all.

any kids bob - why dont you go and see the councellor or gp yourself

Ickle Magoo

Given you your own thread OP, rather than have you bump an older thread by someone else...

ApeXaviour

If you've broached it in a calm, together and blameless manner and she's not even willing to discuss it then you've two (above board) options.

-Leave her, find someone else who will make you happy.

-Keep going as you're going, judging by your tone you're pretty miserable.


If it's just sex that's the problem then perhaps you could find something on the side. You'd need to get permission from your wife, or at the very least a don't-ask-don't-tell verbal clause. If she's that selfish and shortsighted that she's not willing to let you have your needs met then it goes back to the above two options. Perhaps leave (as amicably as possible, no fighting, pride can wedge a door shut) and be on your own for a while. It may get her to come to the table at least to talk, or maybe it'll be the death knell to the relationship which you have to be willing to accept if you do this.

Kids complicate the matter, but don't change it.

StarryMoon0

BOB54321 wrote: »

I broached this with my wife, suggested we see a counsellor.

Now she won't talk to me at all, completely avoids me.

Married 11 years, have gone entire years without sex, not healthy, not very healthy at all.

How did you broach it? In a non accusatory way, or ?
Its a bit funny that she won't talk to you at ALL. Was there an arguement about this when you broached it?

To be honest, there's not enough info to get an insight into this. I'd like to think its pretty rare that this would be the ONLY problem occuring in the relationship for this type of reaction. So I'm not going to say "leave her if she doesn't meet your needs" as there is maybe some info we are lacking..

What do you see the problem as? Is the mariage perfect in every other way?

blackbird98

if she won't even talk to you, then she must have a problem of some sort.....any possibility that she is having an affair? or thinks that you are?

Does she suffer from depression?......do you drink too much??.....it could be any reason, or a combination of many.

either way, it's not healthy to let it continue. you must insist that you both sit down and discuss it, even if through an intermediary, mutual friend, councillor, whatever she will agree to.

best of luck with it

jimmycrackcorm

If she refuses to talk about it and refuses to see a counselor then you'll have to draw a line in the sand and tell her unless the problem is dealt with then you are going to leave for a new life.

LighterGuy

If you were just dating. I would say just walk. But you are married.
Get to the root to why she doesnt sleep with you. Then weigh up your options from there.

Access weather its a good enough reason (bad patch, depression etc etc could be a variety of things) But if it doesnt sound right. Then .... you know yourself things will only get worse.