Not sure why I'm jealous

LegacyUser

Hey everyone, I can't find my old thread so I had to start a new one.

Basically, I was seriously confused about this girl in college a while back who was messing me around flirting with me constantly (kissing my ears, rubbing my crotch etc) but then rowing back whenever I tried to make a move to kiss her. I got fed up with this type of carry on pretty quick and there's plenty more girls in the world so no big deal for me...or so I thought.

Anyway, I pretty much cut all contact with this girl for the past few months but then college started back and the atmosphere between us was weird to be fair. I decided to try to be friendly as I felt I was acting a bit childish but she didn't talk to me more than once in 2 weeks and gave me one word answers if I started conversations and this was a girl who chatted to me constantly like.

Anyway it turns out she's been seeing one of my mates in college on the downlow as Americans say and they're going out now. Thing is...I feel really jealous and its pissing me off. I felt I was fine with her (I put up with enough **** from her) but now I feel as if I'm hung up on this girl and mad pissed off my friend is seeing her. Why am I feelign jealous of a girl I put behind me like ???

Sorry, I don't really know what advice I want but needed to vent a bit!

whatsamsn

This is a classic tale that happens in life op

This is an ego thing. Dont worry a perfectly normal ego thing that you, me and everyone else in the world has.
Bascially, this girl was messing around with you. As you know. You just cut contact. (right thing to do) At that point you didnt care about her, right?

However when you tried to be friendly and talk to her. She gave you the cold shoulder, I reckon that didnt bother you. As you know what she was like to you. But good on you for trying to be friendly.

When hearing she is dating one of your mates. This is where our minds play games with us. Your ego is bruised. Sutff like "well i couldnt get with her, why is she with him?" etc. Even tho you might not want to even be with her now.

Its like a kid and a toy. You might leave a toy in the corner and not play with it. But when someone does, you want it (even if you dont wanna play with it) ... So op dont worry. Just realise its just your ego. (not ego-ego but you know what I mean) :pac:

Snowie

Op you come accross annoyed to you have every right to be....
I wouldn't let it draw you to deep because you havent really done anything wrong concintrate on your studys the best distraction is a busy one

Motley Crue

This girl sounds like someone to be avoided. She made you feel like ****, teased for company and then metaphorically screamed rape, yet she probably liked you and enjoyed this kind of absurd way of going on to get someone's attention. You weren't compatible, because you're normal, and she is now dating a mate. I'd consider myself having had a lucky escape, college is filled with lots of girls, I'm sure you'll find a new one in your own time who you like.

freakmagnet

Yep, its an ego driven thing.. essentailly in your mind, you should have, or could have got the girl but due to whatever, you didn't. Now you feel that he is basking in the glory of having 'got the girl', and you were soo close. Maybe not basking in the glory, but you certainly wouldn't mind him, or others for that matter, knowing that you were there first, and due to mere technicalities, it didn't quite go to plan - but still in all, you were her #1 flirtee! Its ego, and jealousy.. just sort it out in your mind about what exactly you feel and why.. and then put a line under it.

LegacyUser

This girl basically used you as a ego boost and then got annoyed and cold with you when you (rightly) called bull**** on her silly games. Fair play to you for having the strength to do so. And that's coming from a girl!

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's natural if you still like this girl to feel a bit put out by the situation. I guarantee that if you got yourself a new girlfriend, she'd be miffed. Do you want to be with someone as petty as that? And rest assured that she's probably wrecking your mate's head with silly little games of a different variety. Not worth your time.