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How to confront messy flatmate?

  • 23-09-2010 7:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, this might sound really stupid but I need help. I'm living in uni accommodation with 2 of my friends and 2 other girls. On two occasions I have come back from class and found that my pots and cutlery had been used and just left out unwashed. I know it's not my friends as they were with me all day. It normally wouldn't annoy me, but both of my pots were used which meant I had to clean up someone else's mess in order to cook my own dinner.

    The problem is I'm really not a confrontational person. In fact, I'm the type of person that will end up apologizing to someone for something they've done! I just don't know how to handle this situation. It may sound petty, but I really resent cleaning up someone else's mess!


Comments

  • #2
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    I had this problem in college. It happened a few times and unfortunately it wasn't getting through to the people I was living with that it wasn't acceptable. I didn't particularly want to go down the confrontational route at the time, but I started to get really pissed off so I removed my pots and pans, cutlery, glasses, cups, plates, all that stuff, and put it into my bedroom.

    They prob thought it was odd but I didn't give a crap. I wanted to be able to use my stuff when I wanted, not having to clean up after other people. So I'd advise doing that. Otherwise tell them that if they use your stuff to clean up after them, otherwise you will remove your things from the kitchen.


  • #3
    Kimia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,897 ✭✭✭Kimia


    Confrontation is never enjoyable but sometimes that's part of growing up and being responsible for yourself. I hate confrontation but I do it now and again when it's necessary, and I still get the butterflies in my stomach beforehand because I am nervous, scared, don't want to be shouted at or made feel in the wrong or like I'm being unreasonable, etc. It's not pleasant but it's a part of being confident in yourself and your boundaries.

    It should be addressed and out in the open. Just politely say in a non-threatening, matter of fact way, to please not use your pots/pans without cleaning up after themselves because it's not fair that you have to clean up after them.


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