Life is a mess

LegacyUser

I feel like every part of my life right now is a mess and I think I'm getting depressed. I lost my job last year and have recently started a fas course in something i have little interest, just to be doing something. I am constantly applying for jobs but have yet to get one interview.

I am always trying to lose weight but for some reason I keep sabotaging myself and fail time after time. I am embarrassed to be seen by people I knew when I was slimmer so I don't go out very often. I don't feel the same about myself as I used to..it's like I don't care about me anymore.

I feel like my life is over. I look back at my college days and think how happy, slimmer etc I was then. Now im my mid-late twenties I feel old, useless and just so sad. There is no joy in me and I don't know how to fix it.

It doesn't help that my family are all really successful and I just wonder where did it all go so badly for me.

I suppose what I'm looking for is a bit of advice on how to change my thinking. I can't talk to anyone so I'm hoping someone here can offer some help.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Cullen82

In terms of applying for jobs and getting interviews - I am not sure what you have on your cv to date but I would recommend paying €50 - €100 to have someone give it an overhaul. They will make slight changes to most parts of your cv that will really make it stand out.

I advise this because I personally thought my cv was really good until someone took a look at it for me - Interviews, by no coincidence, suddenly became a more common occurrence.

About your self esteem issues, Well that's something you're gonna have to do yourself. Some self help books re confidence and making changes in your life could do wonders for someone in your position - There's no shame in reading/using them. You're clearly not happy with your appearance/weight - Why don't you just decide to do something about it? Whats stopping you?

Make a decision to start eating healthier and if you have to FORCE yourself to start an exercise plan of some sort. How you feel about yourself will start changing if you start doing something to change the way things are instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

Good luck, But don't do what most people seem to do which is read teh advice on here, think to yourself "That sounds nice but...."

Just do it

Agent J

Take it one thing at time.

Trying to fix multiple large issues at once is daunting and when you fail at one it feels like a failure at all of them. Which means you give up and go on feeling miserable and doing nothing about it.

The weight thing seems to be bugging you so thats a good place to start but bear in mind you can be just as miserable slim as overweight if the weight isnt actually the issue.

The weight thing is really simple to fix but very difficult to actually do. Take a wander over to the fitness and nutrituion forums. You need to educate yourself about what you eat and possibly why you eat.(Emotional eating etc etc)

This stuff takes time. Anything promising a quick fix is lying. Set your BS detectors to max.

Set yourself some short term(1 week), meduim term(1 month or so) and long term(1 year). Be realistic! and go easy on yourself. No need to make your situation worse by being unfair on yourself.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

The couch to 5k is a good programme for keeping fit and losing weight. There is a very positive support thread on boards http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055869229.

LegacyUser

op here.

Many thanks for replying.

Cullen82 you are definitely right about the C.V, might be a good option. Just have to get the money together.

Regarding your question as to what is stopping me from losing weight, I honestly do not know. I want to lose it and i try for a maximum of 2 weeks and then I stop.Most weeks i start on Monday and by wednesday im back to my old eating habits. I seem to have no will power and I am forcing myself to stay this way. Thanks for your advice

Agent J you got it in one. I am 100% an emotional eater. My mood on a day to day basis is low and so when something goes wrong I don't have any coping skills so I go straight to the fridge.

I know what I should be eating, I love the nutrition forum and even started a food diary which I gave up after a week. I feel ridiculous and pathetic having this problem. Thanks so much for replying. I have a lot to sort out evidently

Agent J

Thought so.

Been there myself. That was about 4 stone and 18 months ago.

See that 5k suggestion above? Thats a good meduim term goal. I did it a year ago and havent looked back.

estar

hi there trying to fix your life all at one go is too over whelming.

negative thoughts beget more negative thoughts - ie im fat and useless and all my family are more successful than me - these thoughts are keeping you trapped in the cycle of unhappiness you find yourself.

its hard to job hunt and keep the spirits up at the best of times but if you have not worked on your confidence you are not going to do your best interview.

just be your own best friend. instead of looking at yourself in the mirror and old photoes and thinking you are fat now, start praising the good things about yourself.

you are taking on a FAS course even though you are not entirely sure about it to improve yourself. thats a good thing. you have been to college, another good thing. you are self aware and want to suceed.

instead of wanting to be slim, it might be better to want to be healthy. walking in the open air is free and can be built up to gentle running. not for weight loss, but just for the achievement and feeling of movement.

go to your course every day, and then when you get home go for a walk every night. keep a diary of your progress.

i would also recommend volunteering at a charity in your free time. this will allow you to build skills while you are job hunting, and also will build your confidence.

start this tomorrow. the daily walk. by this time next week you will have achieved so much.

i think its sad you cannnot talk to anyone? where are your family in all this? can you open up to people and tell them how you are feeling?

you have great potential, and are just stuck in a little rut. work your way out of it. in a few years time, you will be able to look back and say when things were bad I picked myself up, got fit, learned new skills and stayed positive.

best of luck! post back on your progress!