Thinkin of doing this soon... opinions please

LegacyUser

After some consideration and well due to my situation here at home, (can't go into detail as i'm in work now)

Anyway I am 19 year old guy and I am just can't wait to lose my virginity. I have been looking around the last year but I just can't find a girl that i connect with in that way. So I was thinking of going to a prostitute. I wondered did anyone have opinions on this or advice?

LegacyUser

I wouldn't recommend it to be honest. I'm a guy, in my 30s, and I lived on the continent for a few years on and off. I also spent quite a bit of time in Holland, and went a few times to the ladies of the night "for the laugh", "for the novelty". In total, I went 3 times. The first 2 times I was either stoned off my head or drunk. After that I began to see it for what it was, and the last time I went, I wasn't drunk or stoned, and it turned out to be the most unerotic experience ever. I thought about what I was doing (taking advantage of a vulnerable woman possibly.....). There was absolutely no emotional involvement. It was 100% mechanical.
Would you think it very strange having sex with someone who is a complete stranger, as in, no chatting up, no touching or caressing, no kissing. That third and last time, I just got up "mid performance" (I know, it sounds funny), and left..

Sleeping with someone you actually care about it a totally different thing. Totally different.
Now you can probably get people who can act all mechanical and go to a prostitute or whatever, but no way would I even consider it ever again, no matter how hard things get.
You could say "man, I saw this one in a window in Amsterdam, and she was a babe". Yeah, maybe she is. But I don't care what people say. There is no way someone who has to shag complete strangers can enjoy their job. I don't care how much they get paid to do it...

I sometimes find when guys are out "looking for it", it won't happen. It's almost like women have a sixth sense and can smell it off us

I say wait, and do it the normal way. It can be a "one night stand" if needs be, but at least you will have spent an evening with someone, and chatted, and you know where you stand.
I don't see anything romantic at all about going to a lady of the night.....

But you may be thinking "I just want to get the first one out of the way". I was in your position once, mad to get rid of the "I'm a virgin" tag, and when it happened, I wasn't attracted to the girl I was with, but knew I could get laid, so I did it. It wasn't worth it in hindsight, from my point of view. I should have waited on a bit....

LegacyUser

Wear a condom!!!

BE VERY VERY CAREFUL.

I think if you're really that desperate to do it, maybe a mutual arrangment might suit you better. I think there are a few sites for mutual beneficial arrangements around.

Also if you're looking at girls with the sole aim of sex it might be putting some girls off

ClutchIt

'Connect with in that way' lol!

If you're thinking of going to a hooker, then why not come out and say that no girls were up for it, rather than this 'connect with in that way' line!

I'm not saying your bad with women or anything but please be honest!

Tender Hoop

Yea go for it man why not? I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. I would recommend treating it as a one off and trying to find a girlfriend afterwards. You don't want to get into the habit of using pros.

Warning: You will be bombarded by people on here telling you to wait for 'the one'. Bollocks. Go for it. You sound like you have made up your mind already.

Taltos

Why in such a rush?
Do you really think "losing" it especially to a prostitute will help you with your issues in connecting?
What will be the difference? You will be a non-virgin still having issues connecting but now with prostitute experience and so more likely to go back to another. You need to ask yourself - are you 100% sure you can keep this quiet or do you think that potential future partners will be A-OK with this choice???

LegacyUser

Tender Hoop wrote: »

Yea go for it man why not? I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. I would recommend treating it as a one off and trying to find a girlfriend afterwards. You don't want to get into the habit of using pros.

Warning: You will be bombarded by people on here telling you to wait for 'the one'. Bollocks. Go for it. You sound like you have made up your mind already.

not saying he has to wait for "the one", but in this day and age, a guy doesn't really have to pay for it anymore if needs be..... I just think the experience with a hooker is WAY off the mark of what it's like in reality...I dunno...
But then there's the whole moral/ethical issue of going to a hooker...OP, do you mind going and paying someone to get laid, someone who just may have been trafficked through Eastern Europe to Ireland, in the hope of a regular job, and if she doesn't help you lose your virginity, she might end up with a few black eyes for her troubles....

pollypocket10

I would also think very carefully about the future.

A lot (not all but a a lot) of women will be very turned off by the fact you've slept with a prostitute in your past. It could seriously hinder future relationships. Of course you won't have to tell them but it might come up in conversation or it might be somebody that you want to be totally honest with. Who knows?

ON another point I don't think that waiting for someone special is all that bad. I was in a few relationships before I met my partner and had had flings in the past. I sometimes think he would have been worth waiting for and regret my previous dalliances. Then again maybe we wouldn't be the people we are today if our pasts hadn't played out the way they did.

Either way, I think you will regret it if you go ahead with this.

tinkerbell

Ok first of all, you're only 19. You need to get a touch of reality here. There are probably a lot of people out there who are still virgins in their 20s nevermind before 20.

And in fairness, all you're doing for the last year is going around trying to find someone to sleep with. That's the wrong way to go about this.

Are you expecting your experience with a prostitute to be something amazing? Because I could probably bet that you will feel horrible after it. Oh and coming from a woman's point of view and if I was single (I am not, in a long term relationship), if I heard of some guy who had slept with a prostitute at all, I would be completely disgusted by it. And I would be running as fast as possible from him as I could. It's just completely gross, sleeping with a prostitute. And it makes you look a hundred times worse, that you were that desperate that you had to pay for sex. Do not do it.

If you want to have sex, well just stop acting so desperate, which is what you clearly are. Go out, have fun and you never know, you might meet a girl who you want to either (a) have sex with or (b) some sort of a relationship with.

Oh and one last thing, if you are going out with just sex on your mind, then women can probably tell this and that is turning them off you. So you're never gonna get anywhere with that kind of attitude. Change your attitude, cop onto yourself, and in time, you will get laid. But jees, don't go visiting a prostitute. You're a virgin. That's not a bad thing nor something to be ashamed of.

Tender Hoop

What did I tell you!!! ha ha.

Listen, It won't matter in the future because you won't tell anyone.

A note on trafficked women: Yes i does happen unfortunately but the vast majority of women come here of their own free will.

Taltos

Tender Hoop wrote: »

Listen, It won't matter in the future because you won't tell anyone.

Want to bet?
Mate of mine told his best friend after a few beers yrs ago.
Picture it though - few weeks/months go by - we have a reunion - beers again - eternal question of has he got a GF comes up and supposed best mate blabs to everyone "no need now - used a prossie abroad..."

Each to their own - just be sure that this is really what you want.

LegacyUser

Hey OP!

My advice would be to wait for someone you care about or if not then a ONS rather than have your first time with a prostitute.

I know it might sound cheesy and old fashioned but you only have your first time once! Make it special! I had sex for the first time last year when I was 19 with someone I really cared about and I'm so glad I did. Your first time should be something enjoyable, not just a thing to get over with.

Also please realise that despite what the media would have us think many people are still virgins in their late teens/early twenties. I'm in third year university and I have lots of friends who are and it's really not an issue!

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

MistyCheese

Personally, if you need the opinion of random strangers off the Internet then you are not ready.

Also, losing your virginity has been hyped up into this great big deal and obviously it is a big deal for you. If you have it off with a stranger (paid or unpaid) you will never have that happy "My First Time" memory. Whether or not this will be important to you in one or 10, 20 even 50 years times is a question only you can answer.

Most people would prefer the "happy memory" to the "quick €80 fumble" option.

R.D. aka MR.D

Think about your future- chances are you'll tell some one and even if your first love asks you about your first time do you want to have to lie?

Or even when the question comes up you'll have to remember what you did.

Right now you may be in favour of prostitution but what about in the future you'll have to live with yourself. Even if the girl is all smiles on the outside she might not be feeling that on the inside. it's a really negative way to start your sexual life.

greengiant09

i wouldn't mind all that talk about your 'first time'!...it's a load of hollywood sh*te. i remember my first kiss and it was probably one of the worst kisses i've ever got!...and when i think about it, the first time i had sex was far from perfect! it really won't matter in the long run so long as you don't go blabbing to other people about it. just make sure you use a condom. i know plenty of lads who used prossies and who are now going out with people.

Zen65

peoplesopinionsplease wrote: »

.. I am 19 year old guy and I am just can't wait to lose my virginity.

What exactly is your motivation? Are you looking for a wonderful/memorable experience, or is it just a goal you want to cross off some list you've made?

Perhaps you feel that you cannot wait, but you can wait a little longer. Your rush to use a prostitute seems ill-judged, and is likely to be both physically and financially disappointing. I don't suggest you necessarily wait for "the one" but at least invest enough time in looking for somebody with whom you might enjoy it, and more importantly, an experience you will be able to look back at with fond memories. If all you want is the physical experience, two pieces of liver in a jam-jar is reputed to be just as satisfying and a fraction of the price, with less chance of acquiring an unpleasant medical condition to boot!

I don't speak with any experience on the matter, as I have neither used the liver nor a prostitute, and frankly I am happier for it.


Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

forget losing your virginity and go out and kiss a few girls...one thing will lead to another!!

LegacyUser

''Also please realise that despite what the media would have us think many people are still virgins in their late teens/early twenties. I'm in third year university and I have lots of friends who are and it's really not an issue'' I know what you men there mate anytime I read the paper there is a new story about 15 year olds having sex.

As for my reason for wanting to do this is simply to lose the tag of a Virgin, I honestly couldnt care about a memorable time really. I mean surely everyone can't have a great First time with someone they love, I am really tired of being the weirdo friend at this stage... The long list of friends I know who have had sex is unreal and people asking me about my sex life really winds me up. I have been asked about my sex life a lot and it has got to the stage that when ever I hear mates or people in work talk about sex I leave the room or try change the conversation....

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Well from a girls point of view its a real turn off, if you want to be one of those macho As$holes then go for it, but if you want to start off on the right foot with women then be a nice guy, a nice guy who respects women, the best thing you can do to get a girl is to be nice and be humble and sensitive, women want to feel safe and trusting with a guy, if you have underlining sinister secrets you will do yourself no favours in the long run, i am speaking more from the relationship perspective, but you are still a boy of you want to shag a prostitute, a man can have anyone he wants if he is strong confident and trusting, be a decent guy, and stay with the masturbation for now.

LegacyUser

peoplesopinionsplease wrote: »

After some consideration and well due to my situation here at home, (can't go into detail as i'm in work now)

Anyway I am 19 year old guy and I am just can't wait to lose my virginity. I have been looking around the last year but I just can't find a girl that i connect with in that way. So I was thinking of going to a prostitute. I wondered did anyone have opinions on this or advice?

First off: Connect with a prostitute in any way the same manner as a bonafide significant other? It isn't going to happen. All you are going to get is a passionless hump, to put it bluntly. You can forget kissing her for one thing, but its not like you would want to: you wouldn't know what was there. And you'll have an idea of what she's been putting in it. Those are just the facts. I'm not saying that there is no such thing as a High Class escort but your chances of encountering a plain whore are much higher.

It's not worth it.

The other thing is you're going to find it difficult to find a significant other if your brain is stuck in fcuk mode. Get out of it. If you are beating off to the idea of every girl you come into contact with and are the least bit interested in, you're already ruining your chances: you're objectifying them. I suggest that the next person you come across that you think you like, you consider not fantasizing about them incessantly. That little bit of respect will bleed out into your interactions with her, and improve your chances.

There's nothing wrong with virginity. The age of virgins seems to be going up, only because people are being more cautious about just sleeping around with people. Teenage pregnancies, STDs and Abortion policies all play a factor. And they're all good reasons to remain celibate until you get into a meaningful relationship. Don't be hung up on it.

LegacyUser

Look I still have my V-card and I am 3 years older then you OP and there is quite a few of my mates who are the same even ones who are a year or two older then me.

Yes, it is quite annoying when my friends start talking about their one night stands or any other times they have had sex and being left out of the conversation and I will try to avoid them conversations at all costs. I want to lose the tag as well and the thought of getting an escort has popped into my mind (id say it has come into most lads heads) but then I realise what I really want like I want to know someone wants to sleep with me rather then just wants my money. Even if its a one night stand, as the girl wanted to do it as well.

As for the hole memorial first time thing has been hyped up by films to be great but if its anything like my first kiss it will be terrible but looking back at my first kiss it was quite funny as I was ****ting myself and didn't really know what I was at and id say it will be the same for handing in my V-card but at least I wont have to dance around trying to explain why I got an escort.

seenitall

SameAsOP wrote: »

Look I still have my V-card and I am 3 years older then you OP and there is quite a few of my mates who are the same even ones who are a year or two older then me.

Yes, it is quite annoying when my friends start talking about their one night stands or any other times they have had sex and being left out of the conversation and I will try to avoid them conversations at all costs. I want to lose the tag as well and the thought of getting an escort has popped into my mind (id say it has come into most lads heads) but then I realise what I really want like I want to know someone wants to sleep with me rather then just wants my money. Even if its a one night stand, as the girl wanted to do it as well.

As for the hole memorial first time thing has been hyped up by films to be great but if its anything like my first kiss it will be terrible but looking back at my first kiss it was quite funny as I was ****ting myself and didn't really know what I was at and id say it will be the same for handing in my V-card but at least I wont have to dance around trying to explain why I got an escort.

Just wanted to say that this post exhibits the exact kind of spirit that I think you need more of, OP. This young'un seems to be sound, has a healthy attitude toward sex and women, and doesn't take himself or his "status" too seriously, i.e. he doesn't let his frustration get the better of him. I predict that this Virgin won't keep the V-card for too much longer!

d10carter

ye man why not might be a laugh you not what i mean like and you will have all the power

Taltos

d10carter wrote: »

ye man why not might be a laugh you not what i mean like and you will have all the power

Sorry but can you expand on the above? I am not sure if I understand where you are coming from - especially "you will have all the power"?

I get that for some sex is all about domination and control and "power" - but for a first experience surely that is placing the wrong focus on it?
Also to be correct here - the only way a perp will have all the power with a prostitute is if said prostitute has been forced into it - otherwise they have the "power" - either way not exactly what I would call good motivation nor a great way to remember it - not sure about you - but I personally would then have to deal with deep feelings of shame, self-disgust and loathing.

His call though...

Dudess

Are you considering doing this because you're freaked about being the only one who isn't getting any? Because even though it seems like all your peers are, believe me, all of them aren't, and paying for sex is a fairly drastic and, dare I say it, desperate thing to do at 19 in order to be able to say you're not longer a virgin.

If it's simply a case of you just wanting to get laid though, well I suppose... go for it? Do you really have to pay for it though? If you do go down that road, it may well be very pleasurable, but what if it isn't? What if it's a completely soulless and joyless experience? You can get that on a one-night stand without paying any money.
What if you need a little bit more of a connection though? I'm not talking about love necessarily (people who are advising against you having sex with a prostitute aren't necessarily advocating you wait for "the one" ffs) but just some sort of "spark"?

Sorry about all the questions - but this raises a few of them, in my opinion.

Tender Hoop

Snookii wrote: »

Hi OP,

Well from a girls point of view its a real turn off, if you want to be one of those macho As$holes then go for it, but if you want to start off on the right foot with women then be a nice guy, a nice guy who respects women, the best thing you can do to get a girl is to be nice and be humble and sensitive, women want to feel safe and trusting with a guy, if you have underlining sinister secrets you will do yourself no favours in the long run, i am speaking more from the relationship perspective, but you are still a boy of you want to shag a prostitute, a man can have anyone he wants if he is strong confident and trusting, be a decent guy, and stay with the masturbation for now.

Ha ha bollocks. Nice guys always come in last or are used as a shoulder to cry on when an asshole breaks a girls heart. Assholes get laid. Fact.

greengiant09

Snookii wrote: »

Hi OP,

Well from a girls point of view its a real turn off, if you want to be one of those macho As$holes then go for it, but if you want to start off on the right foot with women then be a nice guy, a nice guy who respects women, the best thing you can do to get a girl is to be nice and be humble and sensitive, women want to feel safe and trusting with a guy, if you have underlining sinister secrets you will do yourself no favours in the long run, i am speaking more from the relationship perspective, but you are still a boy of you want to shag a prostitute, a man can have anyone he wants if he is strong confident and trusting, be a decent guy, and stay with the masturbation for now.

this really isn't accurate or in touch with reality. from my experience, guys who get laid have the following traits: charming, good looking, comfortable with talking to women, confidence, powerful, wealthy and a few others.. if you have a couple of these, then your game on! forget about the whole nice guy thing, i know plenty of guys who have sex regularly and are far from nice but are good at displaying these characteristics.

i reckon maybe you should just put in a big effort if you really want to get it our of your system. i have no doubt that if you try hard enough, you will have sex with someone soon. this would involve lowering your standards but thats not that big of a deal? there's plenty of girls out there who would jump on you if you showed them attention....although you may not be attracted to them.....but it may be a better alternative to going to a prostitute.

LegacyUser

greengiant09 wrote: »

this really isn't accurate or in touch with reality. from my experience, guys who get laid have the following traits: charming, good looking, comfortable with talking to women, confidence, powerful, wealthy and a few others.. if you have a couple of these, then your game on! forget about the whole nice guy thing, i know plenty of guys who have sex regularly and are far from nice but are good at displaying these characteristics.

i reckon maybe you should just put in a big effort if you really want to get it our of your system. i have no doubt that if you try hard enough, you will have sex with someone soon. this would involve lowering your standards but thats not that big of a deal? there's plenty of girls out there who would jump on you if you showed them attention....although you may not be attracted to them.....but it may be a better alternative to going to a prostitute.

Well im just speaking from experience myself, i am with a nice guy for the last 14 years, and the reasons i went for him were because he was a genuine nice guy who i felt i could trust, that meant more to me than anything else, but he was a good looking guy as well. He had no money at the time and were on our own since we were 18 together, he was very shy and he never had a girlfriend before me, i know i am with him because i could trust him 100% and he is as gentle and kind as they come, he has never even looked at another girl besides me he was always so shy, but i just want people to know that they do exist, were not geeky mingers BTW, Ive done small modeling jobs over the years to my credit! he looked after me for years while i was in college financially, recently i inherited a lot of money, i told him to sell his small business and move to the country with me and live off me for a while, he goes fishing all day now while i make artwork and sell it.

There are lots of good guys out there, but i think girls cant help going for a bad boy sometimes! each to their own the the OP can do what he wants, i just think it is a turn off from a girls point of view.

kowloon

You won't feel better about it afterwards because you are seeing losing your virginity as some kind of achievement or rite of passage.
This in mind, what'll get to you afterwards is the fact that by paying for it you haven't 'earned it', so you'll still be one step behind your peers who were able to go out and get a woman all by themselves, without resorting to paying.
Stop placing so much importance on it and just try and do your own thing, focusing so much on keeping up with everyone else never helps.

Wagon

Tender Hoop wrote: »

Warning: You will be bombarded by people on here telling you to wait for 'the one'. Bollocks. Go for it.

100% agree. 'The one' is a load of horseshít.

Using a prostitute is not much different from a one night stand. They're both meaningless, they're both mechanical and anyone who says otherwise is on drugs.

Remember OP, make sure you look into 'escorts'. These birds do it on their own free will. Not to say trafficking doesn't happen but it's a lot less likey then if you go to a canal and get a ride under a bridge.

LegacyUser

OP, one of your motivations seems to be that people keep talking about sex in front of you, and asking you about your sex life, so I'm guessing you want something to tell them. If you're talking about the kind of people who go on about sex a lot, I reckon they'll judge you far more harshly for going to a pro than for not having had sex. The first suggests 'meh, haven't met anyone I'm that bothered out yet' and the second suggests 'I really want it and can't get it.'

Also if any of the people who talk about sex in front of you a lot are female, odds are they'll like you a lot less if they find out.

You'll probably have to pretend to still be a virgin because it will be easier than facing the comments about how you lost it - in which case you're no better off really. . . Except that while they talk, you'll know, deep down, that there's X amount less in your bank account.

So I would think long and hard about how different those conversations will be if you can say 'Yeah, I totally went to a prostitute' as opposed to 'nope, not yet.'

I won't weigh in on whether or not you should do it because all arguments for and against have been covered already, but your main reason seems to be what people think of you, and if that's the case, I honestly don't think it will solve anything.

Dudess

Wagon wrote: »

Using a prostitute is not much different from a one night stand. They're both meaningless, they're both mechanical and anyone who says otherwise is on drugs.

So why pay if all he wants to do is get it over with? (And nothing wrong with just getting it over with btw - I would certainly agree it's inadvisable to wait until you have that amazing, magical first time, because while that's not impossible, it's not a guarantee either).

estar

NO NO NO NO.

cant be any clearer than that.

there are many trafficed women in ireland that are here against their free will?

are you really going to support this?

shame! if we were in a country where prostitution was regulated and people chose it of their free will, at least you would know you werent doing it with a slave.

it isnt a race to lose your virginity. you dont have to be like everyone else. everyone i have spoken to (or most people) that went out and lost thier virginity to someone they didnt know when drunk regretted it.

it should be meaningful. it shoud be because you really like the person. are you just going to go with anything? or are you going to have a standard.

IrishEyes19

Tender Hoop wrote: »

What did I tell you!!! ha ha.

Listen, It won't matter in the future because you won't tell anyone.

A note on trafficked women: Yes i does happen unfortunately but the vast majority of women come here of their own free will.

A vast majority of those women also are supporting a drug habit or paying debts through prostitution. I don't think the majority of women would choose free willingly to sleep with men who can't find a partner to be intimate the normal way through socializing. It's incredibly sad.

@ OP, Id recomend you wait it out, it might seem a big deal now to lose it and not having it over your head. But in ten years time, you don't want to look back on the moment and think of your first time with a woman you paid to sleep with you, and then later did the same with someone else.

IrishEyes19

estar wrote: »

NO NO NO NO.

cant be any clearer than that.

there are many trafficed women in ireland that are here against their free will?

are you really going to support this?

shame! if we were in a country where prostitution was regulated and people chose it of their free will, at least you would know you werent doing it with a slave.

it isnt a race to lose your virginity. you dont have to be like everyone else. everyone i have spoken to (or most people) that went out and lost thier virginity to someone they didnt know when drunk regretted it.

it should be meaningful. it shoud be because you really like the person. are you just going to go with anything? or are you going to have a standard.

If we regulated prostitution here. Chances are students in debt would turn to these places in desperation to pay debts and fees. Girls over 18, regardless be they adults. Regulating prostitution would be disasterous and Id challenge any man or woman here to say they would allow their daughter to get involved in it "legally" Its a different story if she's someone elses daughter though isnt it? :mad:

This isnt a moral question by any means, let people lie in the beds they make if they choose to. But the mortification of not having had sex cant be anything to the mortification or the damage a girl/woman must feel when sleazy strangers grope them night after night. I cant imagine anyone choosing it free willingly. Im sure there are the exceptions however. But I can imagine they are small in comparison to the women wishing they had a different hand of cards to play. I can only assume that once they get into this underground business its very hard to escape.

greengiant09

This isnt a moral question by any means, let people lie in the beds they make if they choose to. But the mortification of not having had sex cant be anything to the mortification or the damage a girl/woman must feel when sleazy strangers grope them night after night. I cant imagine anyone choosing it free willingly. Im sure there are the exceptions however. But I can imagine they are small in comparison to the women wishing they had a different hand of cards to play. I can only assume that once they get into this underground business its very hard to escape.[/QUOTE]


i actually agree with a lot of what your saying and i wouldn't want my daughter to be involved in prostitution but i think a lot of people are naive in thinking that prostitutes are all forced into it....or that they have drug problems, etc.

look for instance at the prositute wayne rooney was with.....well educated, good family back ground, etc....she chose free willingly to engage in this behaviour so i don't buy into that talk.

i am completely against women being trafficked into ireland for these purposes....but it does happen and will continue to happen. even if they target the consumer, there will always be some way round it. the only solution i can see is to legalize and regulate it. if you had to have a license to work in a brothel, these trafficked women would not be able to work there and there would be no demand for them.

IrishEyes19

greengiant09 wrote: »

This isnt a moral question by any means, let people lie in the beds they make if they choose to. But the mortification of not having had sex cant be anything to the mortification or the damage a girl/woman must feel when sleazy strangers grope them night after night. I cant imagine anyone choosing it free willingly. Im sure there are the exceptions however. But I can imagine they are small in comparison to the women wishing they had a different hand of cards to play. I can only assume that once they get into this underground business its very hard to escape.

i actually agree with a lot of what your saying and i wouldn't want my daughter to be involved in prostitution but i think a lot of people are naive in thinking that prostitutes are all forced into it....or that they have drug problems, etc.

look for instance at the prositute wayne rooney was with.....well educated, good family back ground, etc....she chose free willingly to engage in this behaviour so i don't buy into that talk.

i am completely against women being trafficked into ireland for these purposes....but it does happen and will continue to happen. even if they target the consumer, there will always be some way round it. the only solution i can see is to legalize and regulate it. if you had to have a license to work in a brothel, these trafficked women would not be able to work there and there would be no demand for them.[/QUOTE]

I agree with you on that point too, however, those girls like the one Rooney was with, who are educated and from a good background are still in my Op, a few cents short of a pound, I mean we have all seen from school days those people who have great backgrounds still turn out rough or dishonest or lacking in street wise intelligence. Regulating prostitution in my opinion will open a door for these "inadequate" young women to make money somehow where other avenues werent available to them for some reason. Money and access to education isnt always a lifesaver if you dont have the intelligence and the support to wield it, in my opinion. Its a tricky problem though and there doesnt seem to be a quick fix for sure. I mean even legalizing it, will still have underground brothels running for cheaper services. Your example being the knock off designer stores in the US, why pay the full shilling when you go to the discount stores and get the same stuff. Just a thought really.

greengiant09

QUOTE]

I agree with you on that point too, however, those girls like the one Rooney was with, who are educated and from a good background are still in my Op, a few cents short of a pound, I mean we have all seen from school days those people who have great backgrounds still turn out rough or dishonest or lacking in street wise intelligence. Regulating prostitution in my opinion will open a door for these "inadequate" young women to make money somehow where other avenues werent available to them for some reason. Money and access to education isnt always a lifesaver if you dont have the intelligence and the support to wield it, in my opinion. Its a tricky problem though and there doesnt seem to be a quick fix for sure. I mean even legalizing it, will still have underground brothels running for cheaper services. Your example being the knock off designer stores in the US, why pay the full shilling when you go to the discount stores and get the same stuff. Just a thought really.[/QUOTE]

i can see where your coming from and there probably is a bit of truth to it but i think it's far too easy to pigeon-hold in people into categories like that. i'm sure there's prostitutes out there who are perfectly well rounded and are comfortable with what they do. i mean i seen in the news there that hungarian sex workers held a 10 year street march to celebrate the legalization of prostitution. some people have very different attitudes to sex than what the 'norm' is....and who are we to judge.

in regards to your point about underground brothels popping up even if it was regulated, i really think when you weigh everything up, legalization would be the lesser evil that what exists today. i'm sure the last thing the average punter who visits a brothel wants is to have sex with someone who has been trafficked and forced to do things they don't want to do.

IrishEyes19

greengiant09 wrote: »

QUOTE]

I agree with you on that point too, however, those girls like the one Rooney was with, who are educated and from a good background are still in my Op, a few cents short of a pound, I mean we have all seen from school days those people who have great backgrounds still turn out rough or dishonest or lacking in street wise intelligence. Regulating prostitution in my opinion will open a door for these "inadequate" young women to make money somehow where other avenues werent available to them for some reason. Money and access to education isnt always a lifesaver if you dont have the intelligence and the support to wield it, in my opinion. Its a tricky problem though and there doesnt seem to be a quick fix for sure. I mean even legalizing it, will still have underground brothels running for cheaper services. Your example being the knock off designer stores in the US, why pay the full shilling when you go to the discount stores and get the same stuff. Just a thought really.

i can see where your coming from and there probably is a bit of truth to it but i think it's far too easy to pigeon-hold in people into categories like that. i'm sure there's prostitutes out there who are perfectly well rounded and are comfortable with what they do. i mean i seen in the news there that hungarian sex workers held a 10 year street march to celebrate the legalization of prostitution. some people have very different attitudes to sex than what the 'norm' is....and who are we to judge.

in regards to your point about underground brothels popping up even if it was regulated, i really think when you weigh everything up, legalization would be the lesser evil that what exists today. i'm sure the last thing the average punter who visits a brothel wants is to have sex with someone who has been trafficked and forced to do things they don't want to do.[/QUOTE]

Point certainly taken there, although at the end of the day, in the interest of the OP, because he's so young, Id advise you, lad, to wait it out for a bit. Honestly, it will mean all the more in ten years time when you look back and think well thank god I was "in love" with that girl/woman when it happened, rather than, I wish I could have lost it differently, I just think for your own self esteem which must be a little low right now if you feel pressured to lose it already, don't cave in and see a prostitute because you feel its the only way it can happen, because I think you'll be disappointed, it'll most likely be extremely overwhelming because you will be nervous especially if its pre planned and secondly its cold and unemotional. I dont believe you will feel right after it. I really wish you the best of luck.:)

sashafierce

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LegacyUser

I was in a similar boat to you OP. When I was in my early 20's I was still a virgin and I think I'd only kissed one girl at that point. It was a pretty depressing statistic when I think that people had kissed and shagged more people in a weekend than I'd done in my entire life.

I ended up in Amsterdam for a few days and the first night I was really drunk and ended up in the red light district and went to one of those hookers. The one's in the windows.

It was my first time and I have always regretted it. At the time I think it cost €50 and she only seemed to do stuff for a few minutes and then wanted more money. I hadn't "finished" at that stage so I sort of reluctantly handed over another €50 euro and again it only seemed to last a few minutes and I still hadn't finished.

I felt tense and I remember her telling me to relax but it was starting to get to me. During or after the 2nd attempt I just got up, grabbed my clothes and left €100 poorer, unsatisfied and wishing I'd never went near the place. I regretted it massively.

But then about 6 months later I was away again and got even more drunk and went to another one. I was so drunk I couldn't do anything and I left pretty much before I'd even started.

I've always regretted going to them and it took me a long time to get past it. I felt like crap for letting my first time be with a hooker and for someone with low self-esteem and little or no success with women, it probably didn't help my self-esteem and confidence to think that the only way I could have sex with a woman was to pay her.

After a while I got paranoid too about STD's and even though I felt perfectly fine, that didn't put my mind too much at ease. I went to a doctor anyway and got tested and everything came back clear which was a relief. But it's not exactly a pleasant experience to be tested as it's somewhat painful and uncomfortable when he is taking swabs and such.

You are young yet and while I agree that your first time with a normal woman may not be something out of a Hollywood film, I think it's almost guaranteed to be better than with a hooker.

As others have said there is absolutely no sort of emotional connection or anything. It was literally a case of walking in, paying the money, taking your clothes off, stuff happening, then leaving. It's so mechanical it's almost like being with a robot.

It's your own life so ultimately it's your own decision, but as someone who was pretty much in the exact same situation as you are now, I'd say to avoid it at all costs. I recently was chatting to a friend of mine and it was a situation where he was considering going to a hooker. We'd both been drinking so while my resistance was lowered slightly to the idea, my constant advice to him was "don't do it, you'll just regret it".

That would be my same advice to you.

Save your money and spend it on something else. Pop your cherry with a girl you like and not one who will have another guy in the bed while it's still warm from you being there.