anyone just not fitting in?

Yeahhh

everyone seems to be having a mad time? I want to go out and stuff but i havnt met anyone to go out with? just wondering..anyone else?:rolleyes:

Blacey

I was in this boat a couple of years ago. Fitting in can be hard work in UCD, the place is so big! The best thing to do is to go to everything, society events, freshers events, lectures, and tutorials are key - I'm still friends with the people I spoke to in my first ever tutorial. It can be hard to put yourself out there, but keep trying. Chat to everyone, in queues, beside you in lectures, even on the bus on the way in, and ask people to come to stuff with you. A lot of people are feeling this way, don't let it get you down.
This is freshers week, sign up to as many societies and clubs as you like, and go to all their events, lots of these are designed for freshers to meet new people.
Good luck!

Ruski

I'm kind of in the same boat. It's not that I can't approach people, it's that I can't seem to find an opportunity to talk to someone, or even an interesting conversation topic. Also not being able to go to a lot of freshers' events is a massive letdown. Luckily Student Bar lets me in grand.

Yeahhh

Ruski wrote: »

I'm kind of in the same boat. It's not that I can't approach people, it's that I can't seem to find an opportunity to talk to someone, or even an interesting conversation topic. Also not being able to go to a lot of freshers' events is a massive letdown. Luckily Student Bar lets me in grand.

Same. It's not that I haven't talked to people. And I'm actually beaming with confidence. I talk to people all the time. I just haven't clicked greatly with anyone. So I haven't been out alot. I feel left out.

Victoria.

Go over to the freshers tent They have about 50 societies you can join and there really is something for everyone I joined loads of them today. Only 2 euro each too. Its easier to make friends because you already have at least one thing in common. Sports registration is next week I think.

Did you have any small groups or anything in your course during orientation week? You could try to look around for some of those people of you did because chances are they're feeling the same.

I'm a fresher too and UCD is just so huge. I was over in the arts building the other day and it was insane. So many people! I think you have to get to know about 10 people that are in your course properly rather than having loads of acquaintances from everywhere. But if you had a smaller group try getting to know some of them because my group was great still see them everyday and getting to know them. Labs and tutorials were good this week because there were way less people so I'd say you get to know them pretty well after awhile. Good luck and I'm sure it'll get better for you really soon.

errlloyd

Sports is this week in the sports Expo.

Yeah guys your best bet if you're under 18 is societies. If you have no fear of debating I'd suggest you sign up for the maidens competition through L&H or Lawsoc to get into those societies.

I don't really know how you get into the other big ones. (Commerce involves some description or orgy? And I think to get into Qsoc you have to fail a year?)

kev9100

errlloyd wrote: »

And I think to get into Qsoc you have to fail a year?

Oh dear. I joined q soc today.:o

errlloyd

kev9100 wrote: »

Oh dear. I joined q soc today.:o

I just mean to get up onto the committee...

Conor108

kev9100 wrote: »

Oh dear. I joined q soc today.:o

What is Qsoc? And, more importantly, free stuff?

errlloyd

Quinn Society.

IE Business society. They had better free **** last year.

kev9100

Conor108 wrote: »

What is Qsoc? And, more importantly, free stuff?

No idea. The girl at the stand just said they organise a lot of parties and then gave me bag with a load of free stuff. I signed up:D.

muffinz

im the same - talked to a few, give them a smile when i walk past on the way to lectures etc. but noone to hang out with for going out or anything, plus im 17 so if i want to make good friends on a night out, i cant:rolleyes:

Conor108

Well I'll be the amazing, attractive and talented guy in Intro to Computer Programming 1 tomorrow at 10 if anyone will be there?

Ruski

Conor108 wrote: »

Well I'll be the amazing, attractive and talented guy in Intro to Computer Programming 1 tomorrow at 10 if anyone will be there?

Competition, eh?

Conor108

Ruski wrote: »

Competition, eh?

Its on!

El Siglo

Get chatting to the people in tutorials. Go to a history soc talk (free wine reception) there does be a few sound people there. First time I went I had less than a fiver... didn't get home till about 4 in the morning, I think the phrase "transmonglified" comes to mind.:pac:

unknown13

Yeahhh wrote: »

everyone seems to be having a mad time? I want to go out and stuff but i havnt met anyone to go out with? just wondering..anyone else?:rolleyes:

Have you talked to anyone in lectures? Also join clubs and societies. There is a crazy amount of sports clubs in UCD and the amount of societies aswell is also mad. The clubs and soc's will arrange nights outs and gatherings and you will meet people there.

BTW; You don't have to do the subject to join the subject's society in case you taught that.

Healium

Conor108 wrote: »

Well I'll be the amazing, attractive and talented guy in Intro to Computer Programming 1 tomorrow at 10 if anyone will be there?

Do you remember the secret handshake? I'll just look for the fella NOT in all my other lectures

CokaColumbo

Join a few societies and make a consistent effort to get yourself out there; just get involved. If you miss the boat with the societies, you may find yourself in a pretty poor predicament, losing the opportunity to meet a good few people outside of your course.

Whether it be SVP, Cumann Gaelach, canoe, Fine Gael, dodge-ball or whatever, commit yourself to extracurricular activities and you will not go wrong. Fail to do that, and you'll have a harder time fitting in with a group.

Davidius

CokaColumbo wrote: »

Join a few societies and make a consistent effort to get yourself out there; just get involved. If you miss the boat with the societies, you may find yourself in a pretty poor predicament, losing the opportunity to meet a good few people outside of your course.

Wait, do societies have a join-by date?

I've been here a year and I still don't know what the craic with anything is.

CokaColumbo

Davidius wrote: »

Wait, do societies have a join-by date?

I've been here a year and I still don't know what the craic with anything is.

No, they don't actually. But I'd think it would be easier to meet other first years in a society and become good friends with them when everybody is unfamiliar with one another, college, the society etc. than joining one in, say, November or January when the other first years will have settled in already etc.

But I'm sure everybody is different and this comment is more speculation than anything.

littlefriend

Why don't you arrange a meet up? Can't do any harm

unless a murderer comes!

littlefriend

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

unless a murderer comes!

heehee. But seriously, college is meant to be a great time in your life - why waste any of it feeling awkward and lonely? Just put yourself out there a bit..

TimeToShine

Make sure the first person you talk to isn't weird. The last thing you want it to click with some weirdo who also knows absolutely no one so you're basically stuck with him. I know it's a shítty piece of advice but please be careful, there are also a lot of absolute creeps in UCD and you'd want to avoid them as much as possible.

Iceboy

TimeToShine wrote: »

Make sure the first person you talk to isn't weird. The last thing you want it to click with some weirdo who also knows absolutely no one so you're basically stuck with him. I know it's a shítty piece of advice but please be careful, there are also a lot of absolute creeps in UCD and you'd want to avoid them as much as possible.

What kinda creeps? :rolleyes:

Davidius

TimeToShine wrote: »

Make sure the first person you talk to isn't weird. The last thing you want it to click with some weirdo who also knows absolutely no one so you're basically stuck with him. I know it's a shítty piece of advice but please be careful, there are also a lot of absolute creeps in UCD and you'd want to avoid them as much as possible.

Just be sure to note that people who are quiet or socially awkward do not qualify as creeps.

I don't have a college social life and I'm still mentally well-adjusted after all. :pac:

El Siglo

Davidius wrote: »

Just be sure to note that people who are quiet or socially awkward do not qualify as creeps.

I don't have a college social life and I'm still mentally well-adjusted after all. :pac:

Do you stay at home and play lambs instead?;)

There's no creeps, you have to go to coppers for that.

Rii

TimeToShine wrote: »

Make sure the first person you talk to isn't weird. The last thing you want it to click with some weirdo who also knows absolutely no one so you're basically stuck with him. I know it's a shítty piece of advice but please be careful, there are also a lot of absolute creeps in UCD and you'd want to avoid them as much as possible.

That's a bit harsh :rolleyes:

Davidius wrote: »

Just be sure to note that people who are quiet or socially awkward do not qualify as creeps.

This.

TimeToShine

Quiet people tend to be the soundest by far, it's the loud cúnts who talk too much and try too hard that are creeps.

RandomName2

TimeToShine wrote: »

Quiet people tend to be the soundest by far, it's the loud cúnts who talk too much and try too hard that are creeps.

You seem to be giving mixed messages there bud.

The quiet loner weirdo

And the loud obnoxious hail-fellow-well-met main man.

Two separate entries in the book of character cliches.

Just be open minded and you'll do better. Having a weirdo radar is synonymous with backward thinking high-schoolers.

Yeahhh

RandomName2 wrote: »

You seem to be giving mixed messages there bud.

The quiet loner weirdo

And the loud obnoxious hail-fellow-well-met main man.

Two separate entries in the book of character cliches.

Just be open minded and you'll do better. Having a weirdo radar is synonymous with backward thinking high-schoolers.

Lol I agree. If I want to make mates I'm hardly going to have a pre creted list of people I won't talk to... It sorta defys the point :rolleyes:

Go to societies, make conversation with people in your class.

That's it. Simple.

d10carter

kinda but not exactly making much of an effort. just hang out with friends from estate/school. im quiet but im not a weirdo loner but its just hard to form a bond with anyone in arts really. will prob get 2 know a few people playing rugby tho.

Four-Percent

d10carter wrote: »

will prob get 2 know a few people playing rugby tho.

I'll be one, if like me you're utterly ****e and jsut there for the craic...

dr gonzo

Well dont worry about it anyway, as much as it sucks ass having to get up and go into a massive university without knowing anyone every day it is only temporary. Youre there for three or four years, you'll meet people loads of different ways so dont think(as i did, idiot that i was) that if you dont have a group of friends early on you'll have trouble later.

I wasnt all that confident when i started and still amnt really but the vast majority of people are sound in there so have a chat with anyone youre beside for more then a minute or two. Ultimately you might not be best mates from that moment on but youre building relationships all over the college and you just dont know how they'll work out as you bump into people more and more.

Musefan

I came to UCD with a firm group of friends that I had known for years, and within about 5 months, I saw them all less than once a week. It was the worst decision I have made so far, to stick within my comfort zone, because now I am in second year, and I know absolutely nobody in my course

But, c'est la vie I don't fit in at the minute, and that's okay Though I do find small group language classes are useful to get to know people.

Bobby42

yeah i'm having trouble fitting in all right. i'm in first year and i'm 25. so i'm kind of stuck in between the school leavers that i wont have much in common with and the other mature students who are married with kids. find it really hard sitting in a lecture with 500 people. there's 150 people in my class and i know 4 of them but they're 17/18, so it's a bit of a nightmare. joined the volunteering overseas society so hopefully i'll meet some people through that.

Gax

Join the trampoling club, that's where it is AT i hear.

dr gonzo

Bobby42 wrote: »

yeah i'm having trouble fitting in all right. i'm in first year and i'm 25. so i'm kind of stuck in between the school leavers that i wont have much in common with and the other mature students who are married with kids. find it really hard sitting in a lecture with 500 people. there's 150 people in my class and i know 4 of them but they're 17/18, so it's a bit of a nightmare. joined the volunteering overseas society so hopefully i'll meet some people through that.

Im 25 too and in second year so i know exactly what you mean about being smack bang in the middle. What course are you doing?

Bobby42

I'm doing social science. i love the way the course has the word social in it, its anything but. i was sitting beside some other mature students today and all they were talking about how they have to get their kids to school before they go to college, and the school leavers were like - yeah i was in primary school when you were doing your leaving cert!!!

unknown13

Bobby42 wrote: »

I'm doing social science. i love the way the course has the word social in it, its anything but. i was sitting beside some other mature students today and all they were talking about how they have to get their kids to school before they go to college, and the school leavers were like - yeah i was in primary school when you were doing your leaving cert!!!

Yes, there are a load of mature students but there are some people in their 20's doing the course. If you come along to the Social Science night out on Monday you might meet them.

Bobby42

yeah i'll go along to that all right, could be a laugh!

RandomName2

Bobby42 wrote: »

yeah i'm having trouble fitting in all right. i'm in first year and i'm 25. so i'm kind of stuck in between the school leavers that i wont have much in common with and the other mature students who are married with kids. find it really hard sitting in a lecture with 500 people. there's 150 people in my class and i know 4 of them but they're 17/18, so it's a bit of a nightmare. joined the volunteering overseas society so hopefully i'll meet some people through that.

It's in a way worse for someone who is 18 and feeling like they're not fitting in. It feels like: I am the epitome of a student and I know from TV and film what it's meant to be like to be a student; yet that's not what it's like for me at all! Where are all the parties? What am I gonna do with all this free contraception? :D:D

The scourge of social life is groupiness (that you don't happen to be part of, or if you are part of it, are unhappy about your position). People from school can still have groups that they hang around with.

But people in college are all adults (or for the handful that aren't: nail varnish remover or a couple of months will soon cure that).

Extra-curricular activities are not, or at least should not, be subject to any sort of age criteria (rugby I believe is exclusive in this respect). Having some skill or aptitude or good personality is a bit more important than the details of your birth cert

For instance when I play poker I play with all ages from people who are 18 (or pretend to be 18) to people in their 70s and 80s, even though it has a reputation as an exclusively 'young' thing to do.

You might find your lectures to be a waste of time socially (but that ain't why you're there in the first place) but you should hopefully be able to make connections outside of that.