Jon Hayes

Orizio

Diary from the Cork player Jon Hayes about the All-Ireland final and the week before. Very good imo, particularly his account of the Bere Island training camp, link below but one part amused me:

‘Bere Island – Part 2’

Four hours in and my legs are seized by cramp at the bottom of the hill to base camp. I crawl the rest of the way. Very cranky now. We are not done yet and are told to reassemble in the yard at 10.30pm. In our groups we head off to various locations on the island, under cover of darkness, to bring back whatever bounty awaits. We must do this without being caught by the army rangers who will patrol the roads. Team Charlie takes off and progress is slow. Every muscle and sinew in our bodies ache and motivation is low. We just want our beds. All, that is, except Cadogan. He is full of beans after adopting a watching brief for the days’ activities. Team Charlie successfully completes our mission and five minutes before the deadline of 1am, return to camp. Bed is merciful relief. We won’t be there for long.

At 5.30am we reconvene in the courtyard for a ‘light’ 3-mile jog. Breakfast is devoured and we are split into teams of three for Orienteering. I’m paired with Canty and Fintan. A good result I reckon. Three bright fellas we should be fine. We are given maps with more locations marked and told not to come back with less than 100 points, and in no more than 2½ hours. These are the only rules. The further the marker is from base, the more points it is worth. We set off and head for the village. We are in no condition to run or to go very far and are planning our strategy when Paddy O’Shea cycles past. Better is to come. We stand on the road bamboozled. ‘Chugga, chugga, chugga..what’s that coming?’ A scooter whizzes past and Regan turns round to give us a thumbs up. Eoin Cotter is on the back laughing. The city trio head off into the distance and the dopey country boys are left stranded. Langers! All bets are off now.

A car passes and all I can see is Shieldsy giving me the finger from the boot. The blood is boiling now. Another soon approaches and we are not letting this pass without us getting in. Luckily the local inhabitants are more than friendly and don’t hesitate to offer a lift. Just one problem. Space might be tight. Colm O’Neill, Noelie and Ger Spillane are crouched in the back hiding. We are getting in regardless and I take the boot. Our chauffeur takes us to the furthest off point of the island and we head up the hill to where we will find the 80 point marker. We go off-road with only the sheep for company and I’m getting worried as we get nearer and nearer the Atlantic and have found no marker. Show me that map. We are way off. We are lost and have only an hour to make it the seven miles back. We have collected 0 points. Tired, sore and very cranky we abandon task and head back to the road to flag down another car. A small two-seater van stops and six Cork footballers bundle into the back. My face is squashed against Fintan’s big ass and my ankle is contorted somewhere behind my ear. As the best actor, Colm is nominated to fake an injury and we carry our ‘fallen’ comrade up the hill to base. ‘Couldn’t do it lads, Colm turned his ankle’. They weren’t buying it.

As it turned out only one group did the whole thing by foot. Stand up Anthony Lynch, Daniel Goulding and Paddy Kelly. Their faces when Regan flew past on his scooter were worth the trip alone. We left the following day. Bere Island is a beautiful place and leaving on the ferry I swore that if we won Sam Maguire I would return with only the clothes on my back and the porter money in my pocket. I hope to be able to follow through on that promise.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/sport/gaa/john-hayes-all-ireland-diary-131301.html