Any advice is helpful

phoenix833

Hi,

Relationship/ex story here. I was going out with a girl for the best part of 3 years. Like all relationships we had our ups and downs but we seemed to be made for each other. I was a kinda long distance relationship where she was in an intensive college course and I was working so I had loads of free time but she had none. But i still travelled to see her at the weekends and some evenings. When she finished college I went back to college so the roles were totally reversed. But I was still doing the travelling to see my other half which i'll admit I kinda resented a little.

How and ever after a while we both decided mutually to end the relationship. I was of the opinion grass is always greener but that didnt turn out to be true. We still spoke regulary and kept up to date on each others lives to see how the other was doing.

Anyways after a few months she start dating another fella but which did hit me hard a little bit. That was almost a year ago and I don't think i'v moved on properly and she knows I havn't.

We always had difficulty having sex as she was a virgin and I waited a long time till she was ready. But our sex life was never the best even so again I felt "what did I do wrong?". She knows and understands now how important sex is in a relationship but wont sleep with her current boyfriend because she said she wont if i'm not comfortable with it. I still think of her as being "mine" so the thought of any man going near her makes me feel sick.

I know some of ye will say maybe she has already but I know she hasnt. I wanted to know do you think its unfair of my feelings getting in the way of other peoples affection?

I would get back with this girl tomorrow if she was single again but I dont know if I should cut all contact, continue with the contact we have and let my feelings keep driving a wedge between them or tell her to do what she wants? She knows how I feel and is very considerate of me in everything she does. I'm not sure what thins means from a womans point of view?

Is she just being nice or does she deep down really still care for me? She always said, even to this day that I would be the perfect man to marry and have children with. Even her mother, who hated me, said that maybe she has made a mistake. I'm just not sure what to think.

Sorry this is so long winded but i'v never spoken to anybody about this before.

Fahrrad

phoenix833 wrote: »

Anyways after a few months she start dating another fella but which did hit me hard a little bit. That was almost a year ago and I don't think i'v moved on properly and she knows I havn't.

We always had difficulty having sex as she was a virgin and I waited a long time till she was ready. But our sex life was never the best even so again I felt "what did I do wrong?". She knows and understands now how important sex is in a relationship but wont sleep with her current boyfriend because she said she wont if i'm not comfortable with it. I still think of her as being "mine" so the thought of any man going near her makes me feel sick.

This is weird. If she is going out with someone else she is not "yours", yet even herself seems to believe that she is. First and foremost, this is unfair on this new boyfriend. Why is she with him? You need to talk with her about whether you want to get back together or not because this kind of ambiguity is unsustainable.

Cheap Thrills!

phoenix833 wrote: »

Hi,

Relationship/ex story here. I was going out with a girl for the best part of 3 years. Like all relationships we had our ups and downs but we seemed to be made for each other. I was a kinda long distance relationship where she was in an intensive college course and I was working so I had loads of free time but she had none. But i still travelled to see her at the weekends and some evenings. When she finished college I went back to college so the roles were totally reversed. But I was still doing the travelling to see my other half which i'll admit I kinda resented a little.

How and ever after a while we both decided mutually to end the relationship. I was of the opinion grass is always greener but that didnt turn out to be true. We still spoke regulary and kept up to date on each others lives to see how the other was doing.

Anyways after a few months she start dating another fella but which did hit me hard a little bit. That was almost a year ago and I don't think i'v moved on properly and she knows I havn't.

We always had difficulty having sex as she was a virgin and I waited a long time till she was ready. But our sex life was never the best even so again I felt "what did I do wrong?". She knows and understands now how important sex is in a relationship but wont sleep with her current boyfriend because she said she wont if i'm not comfortable with it. I still think of her as being "mine" so the thought of any man going near her makes me feel sick.

I know some of ye will say maybe she has already but I know she hasnt. I wanted to know do you think its unfair of my feelings getting in the way of other peoples affection?

I would get back with this girl tomorrow if she was single again but I dont know if I should cut all contact, continue with the contact we have and let my feelings keep driving a wedge between them or tell her to do what she wants? She knows how I feel and is very considerate of me in everything she does. I'm not sure what thins means from a womans point of view?

Is she just being nice or does she deep down really still care for me? She always said, even to this day that I would be the perfect man to marry and have children with. Even her mother, who hated me, said that maybe she has made a mistake. I'm just not sure what to think.

Sorry this is so long winded but i'v never spoken to anybody about this before.

From a womans point of view it's blatantly obvious she wants you back. She wants you to come and get her. You really initiated the break up with the grass is greener. No big one. The best intentioned people have done that and then realised.......

I would put money on she wants to be won back.