Do you bring your child to mass/service/worship/rituals?

Quality

So my daughter has confirmation next may, so making a big conscious effort to go to mass.

My husband and I are different religions but daughter is christened the same as me. so it has to be who makes the effort.

do you go to mass bring the kids..

cynder

I'm not catholic, husband is but doesn't go to mass. Daughter sings in school choir and does the usual school religious stuff.




I think people can act Christian without going to mass and i personally think that is more important than putting on a front for an hour. A person is defined by their actions to others, not how many times they go to mass.

Whats the point in going just because she is having her communion, that to me isn't a good enough reason. you go because you want to go, you want her to believe in heaven and hell, the trinity, the life story of Jesus, you want her to learn the things he taught his disciples, the history in the old testament and the new testament. You want her to learn to values of the bible (they can also be taught at home) you want her to accept gods word as the truth. Not because she is doing her communion. Going because you want to be seen doing the right thing also isnt a good enough reason. talk with your daughter se if she wants to go.


just a thought, what do i know, ive never been to mass!

alex73

Kids go to a Childrens mass and they love it. Honestly its a great way to start the sunday!. (Religion apart I'm there every sunday! a hour of peace!)

hsi

alex73 wrote: »

Kids go to a Childrens mass and they love it. Honestly its a great way to start the sunday!. (Religion apart I'm there every sunday! a hour of peace!)

Same here!!!, I love the play room the church has for kids, its a god-send (pardon the pune)

Mass is a real pleasure for the kids. We have coffee and tea after and meet other parents. I really enjoy sundays.

Cróga

Ever try to have a conversation with someone religious? They can never be reasoned out of it, because they were never reasoned into it. Religion = child abuse.

Telling a child that there's a man in the sky keeping an eye on them, watching their every move, listening to every thought and telling them that they will spend eternity burning in fire if they dont believe in this man or doing something "wrong" is abusive. Because childrens brains arent developed its no different than someone going into a mentally handicapped home and telling them there's a man in the sky watching everything they do and is going to send them to burn them forever after they die. Someone would be arrested for doing this.

alex73

Cróga wrote: »

Ever try to have a conversation with someone religious? They can never be reasoned out of it, because they were never reasoned into it. Religion = child abuse.

Telling a child that there's a man in the sky keeping an eye on them, watching their every move, listening to every thought and telling them that they will spend eternity burning in fire if they dont believe in this man or doing something "wrong" is abusive. Its no different than someone going into a mentally handicapped home and telling them there's a man in the sky watching everything they do and is going to send them to burn them forever after they die. Someone would be arrested for doing this.

No. I just tell my kids god loves them as a father as I love them.. Nothing more. No fire..

What to you take religion to be?

Ickle Magoo

Neither of us are religious and the kids are not christened and nor do they attend a school with a religious ethos so it's not something we do at home. My mother in law used to take them to mass with her when we were visiting but in light of the seemingly never-ending scandals she doesn't go either now.

alex73

Cróga wrote: »

Religion is another form of superstition. Its just a more popular form. Why do you teach your kids that this god is real? What about the 9999 other gods?

Because its what I believe, what my parents, grandparents and great grand parents believed. I'm proud that my Children believe.

If you want to call it superstition... that's your decision. I am happy to educate my children in the faith I was educated in.

littlebug

I voted but I'm not saying out loud. My very wise father told me never to talk religion or politics with strangers
Sometimes you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Khannie

grindelwald: I expect repectful and courteous posting at all times. That goes to anyone else in this thread too.

Cat Melodeon

We go about once a month. I was raised a Catholic but I have no faith and disagree with a lot of the church's teachings regarding sexuality and women. My husband was also raised a Catholic but is more of an agnostic these days. Religion is quite important to our extended families, so we decided to raise our child within the Catholic community. I do not see this as hypocritical. We did not drift into the decision but considered all the pros and cons for our child and believe that for us, the best thing to do is raise our child as a Catholic but make sure he is equipped with the knowledge he needs to be able to question all doctrines he encounters in his lifetime, whether religious, political or philosophical. I will not be putting on a show of piety - he will know as he gets older (as the rest of my family knows) that I do not believe but am simply giving him the chance to share in the faith of his grandparents and cousins. I will also teach him that while Catholics believe that theirs is the one true church, other religions also believe the same thing and others believe there is no God and that all beliefs should be respected as long as they are compatible with human rights.

My childhood faith was strong, I loved the prayers before meals and bedtime and how the seasons of the church and the seasons of the year blended together. Lent and Advent taught me self-control, discipline and delayed gratification, something lacking in a lot of kids today. Sure, secular parents can teach those things too, but there is something magical in how these times are celebrated in the Church and I would not like my child to miss out on that.

I have never been abused by the church. To me, God was benevolent, Jesus was a role model and priests were nice men who ran the youth group and sports club and organised the family fun day. In religion class we were taught about right and wrong, right was to live your life through love and treat others as you would be treated; wrong was to be hurtful or dishonest. I had no conception of hell nor was I ever threatened with hell by teachers, priests or parents. Heaven was where dead grandparents went so they could look out for us and make sure we stayed safe. There was an inkling that dogs and cats might go there too.

My experience of the Catholic church was a wholly positive one. Most of all I learned tolerance and respect for myself and for others. My parents could have taught me those things, but like me, they believed in the value of belonging to a wider community. I believe in the same thing for my child. I would like him to have the chance to have faith. If like me he loses his faith, grand. But I do believe it is healthier to have been brought up within a faith and lose it than have no faith and feel the need to search for one.

we'llallhavetea_old

i'm atheist, i christened my daughter because i thought i needed to, to get her into school and also out of fear tbh. (fear of exclusion)
i did nothing in junior infants, i let her plough on with the alive-o curriculum, questioned her when she recited a prayer for me and realised that it meant nothing to her (she thought that maybe the principal was this god chap!)
i made sure she knew that mammy did not believe in god and that the nativity story was just that (to me)

this year she has started senior infants and is not participating in the alive-o curriculum, she has her own special colouring book and story book to work with when its time for alive-o. the relief of actually putting a stop to the religion part of school is immense tbh, once it was done i stopped worrying about the whole thing.

so no, after all the prattling on, we do not go to mass!

Joey the lips

I bring my kids to mass every week. Like my parents did with me. I am not here to debate the morals of religion.

I bring my kids to mass becuase i choose to raise my kids a certain way. When they are old enough they can decide if they wish to continue down this road.

I do not understand why people are so critical of those who bring their kids to mass. I use the sugar and sweets analagy..

Kids love sugar kids love sweets. Kids would eat sugar all day long. Kids would attempt to survive on nothing but sweets.

If we gave kids the option they would choose to eat sweets all the time and nothing else however as parents we choose to protect them and limit their intake of sugar. We teach them the wrongs by doing this.

When they are off an age they are free to eat all the sweets they want...However through there education they know this not to be the wise choice.

I have never seen a situation where a parent attempting to religion there chid has done any harm. However i have seen where free will has.

Quality

I really did not intend on this becoming a debate on religion.

If someone brings their child to mass and wants to raise their child with a particular faithit is none of mine or your business.

Your posting will probably deter the sane people from posting here.

Would you mind taking your debate else where

we'llallhavetea_old

i have to say, joey the lips, the analogy is not clear to me

do you mean that bringing your kids to mass instills morals and without mass the wouldn't know the difference between right and wrong?

Ickle Magoo

Quality wrote: »

I really did not intend on this becoming a debate on religion.

If someone brings their child to mass and wants to raise their child with a particular faithit is none of mine or your business.

Your posting will probably deter the sane people from posting here.

Would you mind taking your debate else where

Just out of interest what was the point of the thread? I just answered the question and so far there has been multiple people posting sweeping statements and generalisation and judgements on how others choose to raise their children and only one of them was Cróga....

Quality

It was a question on whether people brought their kids to mass!!

Nothing to do with what faith a person is or whether they should or should not believe

I don't think people should be judged for having a particular faith!!

I don't like finger pointers

Ickle Magoo

Cróga wrote: »

Im sorry if my posts are troubling to you but i believe child abuse should be talked about.

I really don't think parenting is the appropriate forum to cast aspersions or knock anyone else's parenting choices - whether that be having a faith or lack there of.

bad2dabone

Croga, i'm an atheist personally and i think this is the wrong forum for your campaign. And posting here isn't going to change anyones mind about their beliefs.

Cróga

bad2dabone wrote: »

Croga, i'm an atheist personally and i think this is the wrong forum for your campaign.

Why do you think this is the wrong forum?

And posting here isn't going to change anyones mind about their beliefs.

Why do you say this?

bad2dabone

Cróga wrote: »

Why do you think this is the wrong forum?



Why do you say this?

well, I hope I articulate myself properly here, I feel that this forum (parenting) isn't the place for anyone to try and enforce their religious views on others and from the manner of your posts its coming across that you are championing atheism and judging those who choose to bring their kids to mass. (even though I concur with one or two of your assertions!)

Put it this way, I hate when religious people try to force religion on me or mine. I assume you feel the same way.( correct me if i'm wrong) It just seems to me that in this thread you're trying to force your views on the religious.

In my experience that never works and just makes you look like the fundamentalist. And that's never a good thing imo

bad2dabone

Cróga wrote: »

bringing kids to mass and teaching them that God is real is child abuse

it's the right of parents to bring up their children in the belief system which they see fit though (within reason of course!). Although you consider it child abuse (which is a very very strong term and bound to provoke a strong reaction) parents who themselves were brought up in a religious environment and found it beneficial will want to pass those experiences on to their children.

Telling religious people that they're abusing their children by taking them to mass is only going to provoke anger i think. If you worded it a different way you might have more success in provoking rational thought and reasoned debate.

finbarrk

Yes, once a month, or every 3 weeks. It's grand too.

Nevyn

Cróga This is the parenting forum which is supportive of all parents including those who are raising thier children with in a faith or to have a spiritual life.

This is not the place for your type of evangelical atheist inflammatory rhetoric,
I to can regurgitate Dawkins. If you post in this manner again you will be banned from this forum.
I have removed your posts from this thread and have moved them to the humanities forum.

Morning everyone, right I am off to have my coffee

Nevyn

Cróga banned for ignoring mod warnings, instructions and persisting with inflammatory posts.

cynder

Quality wrote: »

I don't think people should be judged for having a particular faith!!

Very true...

Nevyn

People do, the number of things I had to refute over the years when the topic of my relgion and that fact my children are not christians comes up.

cynder

Thaedydal wrote: »

People do, the number of things I had to refute over the years when the topic of my relgion and that fact my children are not christians comes up.

yes they do.

look at the north

AL qaeda

Hitler/Nazis

and many many more,

Personally i couldnt care less what faith if any someone has. It the person that counts. Dont know if i got that point accross in my first post.

littlebug

grindelwald wrote: »

. Dont know if i got that point accross in my first post.

No you didn't. Your edited version reads quite well now.

littlebug

Thaedydal wrote: »

People do, the number of things I had to refute over the years when the topic of my relgion and that fact my children are not christians comes up.

Sadly people are judged by all sides no matter what they do

I've had comments from other parents at the school gate for not going to mass. On the other side you have people who do go to mass being called hypocrits and acused of being in collusion with child abusers.
Damned if you do etc....

cynder

littlebug wrote: »

No you didn't. Your edited version reads quite well now.

Only a small portion was deleted, the bit where i said ********** the rest is the same. I don't just believe catholics are *********** the same goes for other faiths too, the only ones who cant be ********* are the ones who belong to no faith. They are not pretending to be something they are not. I've seen a muslim drink alcohol, doesnt bother me in the slightest, But if that muslim came up to me and said i shouldnt drink then i would be peed off. Im only speeking in general and not finger pointing at anyone. If your catholic your only judge is god, doesnt matter what anyone else says, they are after all only human.

Kimono-Girl

Quality wrote: »

do you go to mass bring the kids..

Not right now, i am not religious at all but my OH is, he wanted our daughter Christened so i agreed for him (it made no difference, to me its just water on her head and a big party but it meant something more to him)

the deal we have is when we feel she can go sit still and without disrupting everyone we will go to mass,he is hoping by next year she will be ready and then when she is older (post-confirmation) she can choose any religion she wants or none if she chooses like me!

we are giving her the start in religion and she can choose to continue, change or disregard it herself!

Quackles

I have brought them to mass but I don't habitually. I'm going through a bit of a crisis at the moment. I rarely go to mass. I hate handing money to the catholic church in the face of all the horrific things I'm hearing but in particular in their handling of it. I completely disagree with the way they have dealt with the horrific revelations of recent years.

I went to mass yesterday, and the priest stood up on the alter talking about the evils of living together before marriage, homosexuality etc. I swear, I nearly walked out. Why am I aligning myself to an organisation with whom I share so little in my outlook and values? While both of my children are baptised, I was seriously considering not going any further. The only thing that is keeping me there is the fear of exclusion and that they'll feel different from their little friends when communion time rolls around. Not a good enough reason to be involved in the church, but what can you do?

I don't want to cut God out of their lives completely so I wouldn't take them out of the curriculum.. I think for those who do believe in a kind and loving god, its a great comfort, I wish I had blind, unquestioning faith. If something was to happen to my husband or I, I want my kids to feel that we've moved on to heaven and will be together again rather than just think we're gone. I don't want them listening to the views the priest expressed yesterday and thinking I agree with that either, however. It's a toughie.

Dades

My daughter was grudgingly baptised (happy wife - happy life), and my son will be (even more) grudgingly baptised shortly.

I obviously don't go to mass and have always made it clear that I personally won't be a part of bringing them there. Mummy isn't that pushed to bring them either as is more of a "cultural catholic" than anything.

So, no, apart from going to my Granny's memorial mass every June (followed by family gathering), we don't bring them to mass.

Quality

I get the whole, not trying to disrupt thing..

I had the 3 of them yest.. daughter 11 who is great help.. two boys.. 4 and 20 months.. the 4 year old had the money basket on his head for most of the mass

and the baby went for a little walk up to the alter and passed the organ and started pressing buttons on the organ half way through the sermon..

I nearly died.. felt mortified.. but everyone was laughing.

It was a big relief to me when the organ player approached me after and told me that he would have to keep an eye on his job!! i was saying sorry, and he told me what a great mam I was for bringing them all to mass on my own..

very nice thing to hear.. i felt very welcomed!

silja

I'm not Christian, and our services tend to last several hours, so not bringing small kids (mine are 2.5 and 7 months). My husband is Christian- Baptist- but there is no child baptism in his church, so no obligation to bring the kids to church on Sundays. He goes some Sundays, when the house isn't too chaotic, but hasn't brought the kids yet. Once they are older, if they want to go, they are welcome to. We bring our kids up to know the bible, and to love God, no matter what exactly S/He is.

Right now, we live in the US and the older two attend a church based playschool two mornings a week; on Tuesdays, the attend "chapel", but it's basically sitting around thealtarand listening to a simplified bible story. I've no problem with that.

charlemont

i try to keep my boy away from scum so therefore the church is not a good place to bring him as its full of hypocrites and peadophiles and is the biggest criminal organisation in ireland..

Khannie

Charlemont banned for a week.

Next person to use this thread to start abusing any religious organisation gets a hefty, hefty ban. I'm sick of it.

Nevyn

Title of thread edited as we do live in a country where parents bring children to more then just RC mass.

alex73

charlemont wrote: »

i try to keep my boy away from scum so therefore the church is not a good place to bring him as its full of hypocrites and peadophiles and is the biggest criminal organisation in ireland..

Hmmm the church (or any denomination/faith) are its members. I know many brilliant priests. If religion is not your cup of tea, we live in a free world, but to say the church is the biggest criminal organisation in ireland denotes extreme ignorance. Were there crimes and coverups.. yes. are all priests criminals.. no.., 90% of child abuse in the last decade was committed by people who are not in a church (parents, friends of family, cousins, baby sitters)

On the parenting side, the church I go to have many family supports, play room. We even have masses for parents with small kids where we lay carpets so everyone can sit with their kids.

We also have kids camp organised by the parish priest (and at his insistence the camp only happens if there are 2 parents with him at all times).

Religion has great supports for family, if you want them. Maybe some people like going to church on a sunday to meet others and pray, instead of dragging the kids and the husband around liffey valley for 80th time.

1966

Yeah we go as a family every week but 14 yr old goes grudgingly - but this is the early teenage years kicking in.
I honestly feel better in myself for going but I know the kids question why we go all the time cause very few of theirs peers do.
Anyway I think forty minutes of spirituality in a week won't do them or us (parents) any harm.