What should I do? [long]

Leeg17

To be honest I don't care about being anon for this.

I'm 18, with two younger sisters, and my parents just got home from a night out. Dad came home there saying mam was saying about him knowing all the foreign people working in the take away he delivers to. He's a milkman so of course he's going to know them in there. He works a good 15 hours a day between deliveries and doing the accounts etc. To be honest I don't have much if any quality time with him anymore, I'm at college during the week. He's working most of the time when I'm home at weekends. Typcial Irish father-son type relationship really, I know he loves me and that I love him, but we never express that.

Just got off the phone with mam. She's up town "thinking to herself" and crying. F' it, I'm crying as I type this. My heart sank when she said "he doesn't care for me anymore, and at this stage neither do I". I really can't imagine them breaking up, they have their ups and downs like everyone, but what worries me the most about it is that they never said they love each other, kiss each other (that I've seen) hugged and all that emotional stuff. *I just went and picked her up there*

I knew she had a cardiovascular stress test on Tuesday. When my sister rang my mam my dad claimed he didn't know anything about it (he was told a week ago) and didn't bother to ask my mom how she got on (and hasn't nearly a week on). My dad obviously puts work before family, and it's depressing to say, but I'd say he values it more than us aswell. When he gets home he's in a huff over small noises when he's trying to sleep, and has a really short fuse aswell. What kind of husband doesn't ask his wife how she's been after a hospital appointment? She has to go for a "CT scan" apparently and depending on those results, an operation (smoked 20+ a day for nearly 25 years). My dad said he'll get the day off work as a milkman if he can get a replacemant. I mean WTF? I love him and all but this is a fvckin' pathetic excuse.
Of course family > work, but from the outside it seems alot like work > family. I know he's working these long days to provide for us, and I'm truly appreciative of it, but there's a point where family life is starting to suffer because of it, beyond where it's worth that much time to provide.

My parent's never really talk through a problem or disagreement. Usually they ignore the problem until they've forgotten about it. If they fight after it's usually more heated again. As I said before I can't remember when they've said they loved each other hugged or any of that stuff when they're sober. Maybe they're not openly affectionate, but I truly start to wonder whether the light of love is starting to fade here.

Personally, I become engulfed in despair and worry when I think about the possibility of them breaking up. Now they've never mentioned it and always disregard that notion, but even if it's for the best and if they're both happy out of it, I still never want it to happen.

My mom admitted that they never talk about these sort of things, and I've begged her just there to talk about it in the morning when I'm there. It's clearly not a sudden thing, it's been brewing for a while. I know it won't be pretty but I at least hope that all the problems will be put out in the open (valuing work too highly, not worrying enough about my mam's health shít like that) and be worked upon.

I don't know why I made this thread, mostly to look for advice. Has anyone been in this situation before?

kjl

Let me get this straight, you dad is a milkman and works 15 hours a day? This seems a little strange to me.

Are you sure you dad doesn't have a bit on the side? sorry for implanting ideas in your head, but it seems very obscure to me.

Leeg17

Well a typical day is get up at 4, collect the milk and deliver to all the houses. Around 7 goes gets more, goes to the garages/supermarkets. Comes home around 2, sleeps till maybe 4/5. Does maybe an hour more, then does the books till like 8/9.

I doubt it really.