whats the story?

LegacyUser

long story short (i hope!)
so met this guy 3 months ago, both rather intoxicated, ended up sleepping together 1st night :O not my style at all. had just gotten out of 3 year relationship and didnt think much of it, 1 night stand. anyway we got on great next morning, he looked for my number.. texts to each other... met up a few times, sometimes nights out, sometimes in wit dvd, get on really really well.. both said we didnt want anything too heavy, which for me was the truth at the time but not now. so last time we were together i suggested this was all f'd up, as i if nothing was goin to become of this we may as well cut contact, delete nums etc, he said that was crazy we should at least be friends, how i had both looks & personality, get on great, why delete nums... this, in my head, was his cue to say he wanted more, didnt happen though.. he's very shy & hard to read, like i could be thinkin he isnt keen to meet up on a particular night but he always proves me wrong, its very difficult to know what he wants or needs... but maybe to the reader on the outside here, is obvious? my feelings have changed since the start, sayin i wanted nothing serious etc is it possible his could have too? to be perfectly honest, i could get over this pretty quick if i knew he wasnt as interested as me... & i'd def be friends wit him!
any opinions?

Kimia

He likes regular sex and companionship but doesn't like you enough to want a serious relationship. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but it's fairly obvious from what you've said.

seenitall

He may be shy and hard to read, but he is not shy enough not to tell you "you can be friends". I think he told you loud and clear he doesn't see you as girlfriend material. Honestly, I don't think he could have been any clearer without using those very words and therefore coming across as a callous player.

He is not interested in you as a g/f.

Move on.

Miss Fluff

Sounds pretty straightforward to me tbh. He wants his cake and eat it too although to be fair he hasn't lied to you or made promises of it being anything more than you guys hanging out but without the commitment.

You need to tell him that you have developed feelings and you want a relationship with him. His response is your answer. If you lay it on the line, his "shyness" should not stop you getting your answer one way or another.

LegacyUser

thanks for replies. it actually helps to see in in black &white in front of me!
we live over an hour away from each other too so probably wouldnt work out anyway...
guess i'd better bite the bullet asap before i get more attached!
thanks again

Moomoo1

you should talk to him about this

it's also possible he's playing hard to get

LegacyUser

thanks moo for ur reply

i had thought hard to get was possible too but he really doesnt come across as a player or someone who would play games. i know he definitely likes me and thinks we get on very well, same as i do but really find it hard to know what he thinks beyond that
he's 22 & never had a gf before so maybe doesnt know the etiquitte (sp) (or maybe thats me just giving him an excuse!)
guess theres only 1 way to find out..............

MRBEAVER

Kimia wrote: »

He likes regular sex and companionship but doesn't like you enough to want a serious relationship. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but it's fairly obvious from what you've said.

This would be my reading of the situation too. If he was interested in a relationship he would not have used the " we can be friends" bull****. my advice would be to end it or you will end up getting hurt.

generalmental

i hate when ppl just jump to the "he is just using you for sex" option,,in my opinion i think he really likes you. as you said he is shy and has never really had a gf...i think when you had the "where are we going"...you mighyt have been a bit aggressive and you probably scared the bejesus out of him,,,the only person who knows what he wants is him,,not me you or anyone on boards....so just have the talk and at least you will no if your wasting your time or you can get on to the next phase

Taltos

Did I read this right?

It started out as not too serious.
You developed feelings.
Your way of telling him this was to drop it on him and then to tell him to cut contact and delete numbers?

Really?
I mean if someone I was growing close to pulled this I think I might just do that and run away thankful I escaped a crazy person...

You have had time to take in and deal with your emotions changing. And yet you gave him none nor an opportunity to think about it...
Suggest you try to meet up and gently see where things are going - but NONE of this in your face delete my number now or else as this is all"f*cked up" - it is you know - but only because you seem to have made it so...