Moral Question, Walk on or confrontation?

LegacyUser

Quick question, which will probably spawn a few different replies id guess.

Had a fairly bleak break up with an EX, never talked again. Without going into it, I got played and tossed aside once I finally woke up to it. No remorse or real sense of wrong doing on her part, just plain ole bad. Not a short relationship either.

Bumped into her once, stayed polite and simply nodded and moved on. Moral conundrum is, 3 of us are now attending the same college.

The other two are twiddle di and twiddle dum. Basically one lad did his best to get rid of me, for obvious reasons and did not really make a secret of his interest while hiding behind the friendship. Doubt ill ever know the true extent of it, but he deffo lied about some stuff, started rumors and was in constant contact. More to it then that, but id prefer not to say. Don't think he ever got what he really wanted, used as an ego trip more likely but he played his part in a cowardly way.

Twiddle dum is just the guy who most likely got stuck in just before we broke up..I would never have known except for an unfortunate picture that made its way to facebook for an hour before someone copped it and deleted it. Bit "meh" about this one, ****ty but we did not know each other. Though he did know she was in a relationship and apparently did his bit to cover it up.

So three twats ill see on a daily basis most likely for the first time proper since the break up. Whats a lad to do?

On one hand I could just nod and walk on, on the other confronting the original lad and having a word is tempting.

(Please no advocating violence, against the rules)

thefeatheredcat

Take the high road and walk on

it's in the past, no point making it part of the present and future and causing hassle and uprooting the hurt

I would only confront if it were the case that they confronted you first. But even then, it would be best to just walk away.

Hope you're not in the same course together... a college can be a big place sometimes.

tbh I wouldn't have much to do with them, you're well rid of bad news.

Taltos

+ 1 above.

If any of them are stupid enough to try to rub your nose in it - just laugh, "gawd you rescued me from that bunny boiler" and walk away.

You can also really panic them by dropping, at least I knew of XYZ but got treated before it became permanent or whatever - but that is v dodgy ground and could end up being used against you - although it will cause a sweat while they run off to get checked... (I know evil mind and all that...). If you do decide to play mean on that - do NOT say XYZ was from her or defame her in any way - let them join the dots.

whatsamsn

I see your problem op.

But it really depends on would they be in the same classes as you or just in the same college. I can understand that by blanking them you fear you might shoot yourself in the foot with certain situations. eg, new people you might meet, who they could be in their ear etc etc.


But if they are just in the same college, not classes and you'd see them around. Whats the point in being false? you aint friends. These people clearly dont like you after their individual actions.

So why be the false guy?

LegacyUser

Small enough college, chances are ill bump into them on a semi daily basis and/or commuting.

Not to mention nights out when the drink is flowing. One of the lads is a complete twat, god knows what he will do! He once thought it would be bright to say he loved my EX when we were together, to my face. Even worse when he drinks, can nearly guarantee he will shoot his mouth off during the year.

My friends never really had any love for the ex or this guy, which could make things even more awkward.

tbh

the best way of letting your ex know she got to you is to confront the other guys. Me, I'd rather cut off my testicles than let a girl like that know she got to me, but ymmv.

curlzy

tbh wrote: »

the best way of letting your ex know she got to you is to confront the other guys. Me, I'd rather cut off my testicles than let a girl like that know she got to me, but ymmv.

This is completely correct, if you even mention it it will majorly boost her ego, twats like her would get a huge rush by having two guys argue over her. Please don't give her that satisfaction. I know how hard it is to say nothing when you've been treated like this but honestly no good will come of it. She'll get a load of drama and be all "oh my, two guys fighting over me, ohh the drama". The best (and hardest I know) thing to do is stay classy. Ever hear that the best revenge is a life well lived? Well it's really true and spot on. You get on with having a happy and productive life, you'll meet someone MUCH nicer (not hard considering) and some day you'll pass her pathetic ass with your new new girl and her face will drop. Honestly, stay classy is my advice, and you will get such a sense of satisfaction from being the bigger person.

Zen65

Justified wrote: »

On one hand I could just nod and walk on, on the other confronting the original lad and having a word is tempting.

There is nothing to be gained from the confrontation, but plenty to be lost.

Walk on, and be at peace,


Z

LegacyUser

Your all probably spot on. Outwardly thats what I have been doing anyways, on friendly terms with mutual acquaintances and her friends, still have a chit chat with them and a laugh if I see them about. Never really talk about the break up, only a few good friends know some of the story, anyone else who asks just gets a fairly vague reply that it did not work out in the end.

Annoyingly this had to led to a situation where people ask why we broke up once every while, as they think she is quite nice. Including my family! Got to hand it to her, she does make herself out to be an innocent angel.

I mean the list of real reasons include her lying, cheating, manipulative, threw a punch once and never showed much remorse at all in the end. Anytime I see her, she just smiles.

Would be a tad easier if everyone else moved on and I did not have to see these people on a weekly basis...:)

Pity I don't believe in karma.

thefeatheredcat

urgh... she just smiles.... well, rest assured, if the fellas are that bad when they're drunk, chances are people see right through them and realise they're not nice people. And with your ex, sweetness and smiles she'll be found out soon enough. That's the great thing about college - when fake people get caught out, they get caught out big time! Word travels fast but I guarantee it won't be yourself that will start the ball rolling. I'm sure before December people will see the real side to each of these people.

Just don't let them get the better of you and avoid bad mouthing or you'll get a reputation for yourself. If people ask why ye broke up, you can say the truth, but if people see her as a lovely person they may not believe it. (I met rather not so nice people that others thought the world of, took them a long while to cop on and realise they were fake assholes). Otherwise you can just say it didn't work out and leave it as that.