What's he thinking??

LegacyUser

ok so i'm confused about what this chap is after. at first he was just some random guy from college and i was tutoring him in English. over the weeks, though, it became apparent that there was some chemistry between us and last week he claimed that he wanted to have sex with me.

afterwards we talked about what was going on and he said he didn't want it to turn into anything serious. but he wanted me to know that if i just kept it as sex and nothing more we could do that. i agreed, since i'm focused on my school work and amn't really interested in a relationship.

but yesterday when we met again his attitude was different. he was very short with me and seemed bothered. before we could talk casually for hours but this time it was just work. nothing sexual happened either. i asked what was wrong with him, was he uncomfortable with what was going on. he said he was sure about what he said and then politely asked me to leave.

i'm in two minds about this. either a) he was just being friendly to get me into bed or b) he didn't exactly mean what he said when he asked that it just be sex. what do you guys think?

Zen65

Yofficla wrote: »

afterwards we talked about what was going on and he said he didn't want it to turn into anything serious.

After what? Your post is a little unclear about what happened.


Z

LegacyUser

i mean after i left. i texted him to try and iron out what was going on

Major Lovechild

Could there be cultural or religious issues on his part?

Oryx

Just trying to figure out... You had sex with him the first time, when he asked, and not the second time, or you havent had sex at all?

Either way it sounds like whatever happened, its gotten weird in his head, and he cant handle it. I say give him space. If its that he just wanted you in bed, well thats all you wanted too. If its that he wanted a relationship, well then he will either say so or not contact you. Cross that bridge when you come to it, leave him be for now (you already said you dont want a relationship with him)

LegacyUser

@oryx: no, nothing's happened yet. it was kind of something he blurted out towards the end of the lesson.

and i'm not exactly sure i don't want to give him a chance. i'm not actively looking for a relationship now, but if i was he'd be the kind of buy i'd go for. if he doesn't want things to get serious i'm fine with that and i'm fine if it does develop as well. it's just that his behaviour is so confusing. i wish he would be clear about what he's after.

and i can't exactly avoid him since i promised to tutor him. if he wants to find a new teacher, well, that's something he needs to say to me straight.

whatsamsn

I am firm believer in psychology, logic and following that brilliant tool we call our gut instincts & I think even a blind man could see this one
Op, you left out one tiny detail in your post ... and that was your response to him originally You havent said what your reply was :pac:


But in your last post you said you 're not sure to give him a chance. But only after the way he acted you said. I reckon you declined his offer. Weather intentionally, or unintentionally. But he picked that up and now is ignoring you over that.


Which there is your answer. He picked it up that you didnt want to sleep with him and he acts like this. One could say a jerkish thing to do. Sounds like he tried it on and now is giving you the cold shoulder.

My two cents is this whole "not looking for anything serious" - was just a cliche line to get into your pants. By saying that its a pre-emptive way of stamping out a dating process to get to sex. Its genuine sometimes, but only sometimes. Judging from his behavior now, I reckon im spot on with this one.



But op, try not to be vague :P

thefeatheredcat

tutoring started, chatty and friendly for weeks.... then one day....

So, you had the tutoring lesson, he blurted it out.... *missing response to this* (as whatsamsn pointed out) then you call/text later and 'iron things out' and then agree to it as not up for a relationship?

then next lesson he's not the same as before?

I'm with whatsamsn on this, he got the impression of a no after he blurted it out and has realised you changed your mind. Maybe he was looking for a yes the first time and has copped on you weren't initially interested/attracted, went away thought about it and agreed to do it. I'd say cold shouldering too.