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how do I help him deal with this?

  • 16-09-2010 1:44am
    #1
    chanelcoco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    hi everyone,

    I'm looking for some advice... My boyfriend just lost a very close friend of his in a car accident. It's been really traumatic for him and unfortunately we're not in the same country at the moment so I can't support him through the loss the way I would like to.

    We will be together again in a few weeks but until then I'm looking for advice on what I should or could do to help support him.

    I've already told him that I'm there for him if he ever wants to talk. I'm not sure if I should just give him his space or if I should be talking to him more than usual in case he gets depressed.

    I've also no idea what I can say to help in this situation, is there anything I can say that could help? I don't want to bring up our friends' death every time I talk to him because I don't want to upset him further but then again talking about anything else seems a bit insignificant or inappropriate right now....so I'm not sure what to do ...

    thanks in advance


Comments

  • #2
    Contessa Raven
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Contessa Raven


    Hi OP,

    I know you said you were in separate countries right now but is there any way you could get a weekend off to fly home for a couple of days? It's just when I'm feeling really upset I love it when my boyfriend surprises me by coming to see me unexpectedly just to hug me and tell me it will be ok.

    If that's not possible then I'd say try to make sure that he knows you are there. I know you have told him already but maybe make him a homemade card with "I'm always here for you" on it and send it with a lovely message in it. Just something that might make him smile or take his mind off the horrific thing he must be going through. Talk to him and guage how he is and see if he wants to talk about what's going through his head.

    He'll be shocked and confused and probably angry too. Let him vent if he needs it and comfort him when you can. It's hard to console someone through grief but he'll see that you are trying and that's the most important bit.

    Sorry I couldn't be more help.

    CR


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