Leaving work - they dont seem to care/bothered

LegacyUser

Hi,
Im 28 yo female. Am caurrently working in a place for the last 5 1/2 years. I have found a better paid job and I handed in my notice a week ago. Am leaving Friday. My work mates, bar the odd one or two, couldnt care less. Normally when someone is leaving (with considerable less time in the company), an email goes around for a collection, you know to get the perosn something. One girl told me today that they have not received anthing - she didnt know I was leaving.
Ive 3 days left there...would you feel bad? I thought I got on well with them all. Ok, a few ups and downs that go with work, but generally getting on well.
I feel very let down.

tenchi-fan

Onwards and upwards.. that's all I can say! Don't let it bother you. Usually there's one person who does all the organising. If you aren't friendly with such a person you will have to organise it yourself.

If you decided on "leaving drinks" make sure it is immediately after work (most people will probably only stay for a 7up) and also somewhere near the workplace.

I know a girl who sent an email around for leaving drinks at 8.30pm so she could go home and get changed.
I wasn't friends with her and just happened to be in the pub with friends. She walked around for about an hour, pretty drunk and on her own.

Another option is a leaving lunch.. just ask about half a dozen people who you know pretty well would they like to go for lunch for your last day. Make sure they commit to it rather than saying "we'll see"

dory

Same happened me. Was in a job two years, and people who were there less time than I was got something, but I didn't. And I was very good friends with some of them. Just put it down to experience and move along.

thefeatheredcat

Don't take it to heart, keep your chin up and move on.

The same happened with a girl I worked with when she was leaving and I was the one organising the parting gift, nobody was too bothered which i thought was awful as she'd always contributed for others leaving dos and worked hard in the 5+ years she was there.

You could put out an email saying your goodbyes and thanks to people so there's an awareness you're leaving, even saying you'll be having a couple drinks and leave an open invite for those who want to join in.

Don't let it get to you though, celebrate your success of moving onto something better with your nearest and dearest, family and friends, they will be genuinely interested and happy for you.

LegacyUser

Same thing happened to me. The same week i was leaving there was a collection for some lad that was out sick for two months and decided to leave, he got a collection after leaving 2 months gone. Insulting it was. I was glad to be out of there though so i didn't care less about getting presents.

the gob

unfortunately the only thing you have in common with these people
is that you walked the same carpet for eight hours a day

too many people are emotionally involved with colleagues

how many of these people would you be genuine friends with if you
didnt work with them?

forget about them, learn the lesson and enjoy your new job

LegacyUser

i wouldn't take it to heart OP! Please don't, it could be any number of reasons, maybe people dont have much money this week, or the one who normally organises stuff like this isn't able this week, they could all be just sick of the whole 'leaving gift' thing if a lot come and go or if there has been one very recently. You have said one girl didn't know, maybe you post an email around saying goodbye? maybe everyone who does know just havent thought to put the email round.

Tbh I'm not really into leaving dos and have never wanted one when I left a job. So as the others said just be happy about your new position and celebrate with your friends! But again don't take it personally!

Denimgirl

Well screw them!most people in jobs are 2 faced and thats a fact especially offices, all so false!I mean you can get lucky and work in a place with genuine people but it does'nt happen much! who cares about them! Good Luck in your new job!

Kidchameleon

Perhaps they have a big surprise for you and are letting on that they don't care? Seen it before myself...

LegacyUser

It is hard not to take it personally and believe me, I am a hard one to get going.
It just goes to show doesnt it? I seen many people leave and also go on maternity and have always contirbuted - now its my time and nothing. It is hard to keep smiling for the last few days. It is lousy and I will let them know that after I leave.

Jo King

Most are probably jealous that you got a better paying job.

mikemac

You got a better job, they are probably terrified to leave or look for something better and are jealous of you.

Maybe if you left to go traveling or go to college you would have got a different reaction.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Big congrats on getting a higher paid job in times of a recession, well done you, you have obviously worked hard over the years and gained the experience you needed to get a better paying job. Maybe your workmates resent you leaving, maybe by the end of the week they will come around and organise something, if no one makes the effort i wouldnt try do it myself, what do you think is going on with them?

krudler

I wouldnt be bothered tbh, theres maybe 3 people I work with I'd consider friends, the rest are just office colleagues, wouldnt bother me in the slightest if they left. Its annoying when people send out those "I'm leaving now, bye" emails as well, it just seems like desperate attention seeking as you're moving on, I'd personally say bye to anyone I get on with but thats it, that being said the day I leave my current job I'll be dancing a jig out the door not worrying about who is sad i'm leaving

LegacyUser

Dissapointed wrote: »

Hi,
Im 28 yo female. Am caurrently working in a place for the last 5 1/2 years. I have found a better paid job and I handed in my notice a week ago. Am leaving Friday. My work mates, bar the odd one or two, couldnt care less. Normally when someone is leaving (with considerable less time in the company), an email goes around for a collection, you know to get the perosn something. One girl told me today that they have not received anthing - she didnt know I was leaving.
Ive 3 days left there...would you feel bad? I thought I got on well with them all. Ok, a few ups and downs that go with work, but generally getting on well.
I feel very let down.

I find it weird that you know an email hasn't been sent around. How do you know that an email wasn't sent around for you? Did you ask? I wouldn't worry about not having an email sent around. Maybe the people you're working with are seriously under pressure at the moment (work/finance/personal). Why don't you organise something yourself instead? At least you'll get a chance to say goodbye to people if you wish, and you won't have the bad feeling of 'nobody cares' following you into your next job.

freakmagnet

unregistered wrote: »

I find it weird that you know an email hasn't been sent around. How do you know that an email wasn't sent around for you? Did you ask? I wouldn't worry about not having an email sent around. Maybe the people you're working with are seriously under pressure at the moment (work/finance/personal). Why don't you organise something yourself instead? At least you'll get a chance to say goodbye to people if you wish, and you won't have the bad feeling of 'nobody cares' following you into your next job.

Well, she is basing the lack of e-mail being sent around on the fact that one of her colleagues said she hadn't received one.

One girl told me today that they have not received anthing - she didnt know I was leaving.

LegacyUser

freakmagnet wrote: »

Well, she is basing the lack of e-mail being sent around on the fact that one of her colleagues said she hadn't received one.

I know her collegaue said that. But why would someone say out of the blue 'an email hasn't been sent around for you' unless they're trying to stir something up

freakmagnet

Well, no point really getting into the detail until the OP clarifies, but since the OP also said this girl didn't know she was leaving, then i wouldn't imagine this girl was trying to stir anything up, as she didn't know the first thing about it. I'd imagine the OP met this girl, told her she was leaving on Friday - the girl was surprised and a little embarrassed that she didn't even know, and said she hadn't got an email on it. That's my reading of it - i'm sure OP will clarify.

LegacyUser

The girl who said that to me wasnt stirring, at least I dont think so, but she is not known for her tact either. She probably blurted it out in embarassment. She said "oh didnt know you were leaving. I only heard 5 mins ago. Noone told me beofre that".

I said it to one girl I am friendlish with today and she didnt say anything-just shrugged her shoulders.

Definitely no suprise party. That would never happen.

Am just trying to control my emotions now as I only have 2 days left. Feel hurt. It is like something that would happen me. To top it off, people are asking me about leaving drinks, but how can I ask people to leaving drinks if no effort is made (and no, no presentation would be made at that either, they are just looking for a booze up). Am I wrong to feel sad? I will miss my colleagues because they mean or did mean something to me - obviously its not reflected - I thought it might. I feel torn you know. What am I to do.

Nevyn

I have never had a leaving drinks, card or whip arround in any job I have had, some places it wasn't the done thing, in other's I wasn't part of the in crowd. Tbh you are out of there and on to better things, if people are being bitchy and bitter leave them to it.

AnonoBoy

You'd be surprised how many leaving whip-rounds are conducted on the morning that someone is leaving.

Kidchameleon

OP,

Just a thought...

Are you a manager perhaps? Or someone higher up? In my job we would have drinks and a whip around when someone from the regular staff leaves, but for a manager we wouldn't do any of that...

thefeatheredcat

You've only 2 days left, just make the most of the way things turn out, leave on good terms and just put down to experience and move on. Afterall, you're leaving and moving onto something bigger and better, they're staying behind to same old same old.

As for drinks, well you could just have a couple of quiet drinks or a few drinks at home or something. Put some sort of message out like that.

one job I worked in years ago, a girl that had been there longer than me was leaving the same week as I (I hadn't been there as long) and everyone made a big deal of her leaving but nobody really noticed I was leaving too and I didn't get a goodbye from anyone. It was sad, but I just chalked it up to experience and didn't take it personally.

Just make the most of it while you're there, say your goodbyes and thanks to people personally and invite them out if you wish and exchange numbers/emails with those who genuinely want to keep in touch.

mikemac

I thought you already left

Well cards and collections often aren't done until the Thursday or Friday.
Lots of time yet

Kanoe

willing to bet you'll get a card on Friday at the least, if not then onward and upward and don't look back.

anniehoo

Id be hurt too tbh if it was me. Ive contributed to, organised and attended so many leaving parties in my job its not funny. Id be gutted if people id worked with for 5yrs didnt acknowledge me leaving. But...im learning slowly that

the gob wrote: »

too many people are emotionally involved with colleagues

so ive taken a step back with any new people who join. Im not saying im not friendly, i just dont become friends with them. I have a core group of mates who are trustworthy and i get on great with in here and thats enough for me.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You'd be surprised how many leaving whip-rounds are conducted on the morning that someone is leaving.

Very true. So many people leave in here it generally just gets overlooked until the last min and its never a personal thing, just people not having the time and/or assuming someone else will do it. Just wait and see...you'll probably be pleasantly surprised.

HavingCrack

I think the main problem is a lot of people begin to feel that they're friends with their colleagues when in reality they only work with them. how many of these people would you be friends with if you didn't happen to be in the same office every day OP??

I wouldn't get too hung up on it, just finish off on a high, be polite and cheerful when leaving and move on.

LegacyUser

Dissapointed wrote: »

To top it off, people are asking me about leaving drinks, but how can I ask people to leaving drinks if no effort is made (and no, no presentation would be made at that either, they are just looking for a booze up).

I had a birthday last week - nothing was done for me for it by any of my home town friends (on the night).

Now, I never called them or texted them to say "I'm going for drinks tonight - pop down for one or two" so I didn't expect anything. My best friend called me later and we headed out for a quiet one, which was what I wanted to do. I wasn't expecting the lads to just remember the day.

Now, if I had made a bigger deal, I'd have had more friends out.

When I left a work place a few years back, I let people know that I was leaving and had suppliers, old workmates, new workmates and friends at it because I rallied them. It certainly was a nice night for me and I was surprised by the numbers there.

People are asking you about your leaving do - for drinks, it's up to you to say "we're going here".

Plus, one week's notice is fairly short for people to organise things.

AND, you'll probably find that they will have a small presentation for you.

boarduser1980

maybe the person who told you that, decided to send one, after saying that to you. she realised nobody sent one, so decided to do it herself...

its not friday yet, so just hold out.....

if friday comes and goes and they dont give you anything, F*Ck them, they are now in your past, dont let it get to you. You are starting a new chapter in your life and leaving them all behind;)

LegacyUser

What is work like lately? it sounds like people are a bit off in there-not with you but with work maybe?
leaving parties or drinks are not something that i am into myself but I can understand your upset although I wish you wouldn't be. I am echoing here but really believe you should not take it personally, as the others said you probablywill get something on friday. But if if you sont I would care too much OP!
Like the others said also maybe they are jealous of your new higher paid job or maybe they think your so happy to be leaving that you dont even care for a leaving 'party'. Regardless if you want to celebrate with them You need to just ask! i'm sure you'd get a lot of takers!
I just hate the fact that your taking their business or forgetfulness as an insult! It bothers me OP! Im sure your probably one of the best liked especially as you will miss them lots of people wouldn't care if never saw some ex colleagues again.. me being one of them i'm afraid..

nimrodsson

So, what happened OP?