Advice on FB

LegacyUser

Hey guys, I have a small problem (well it's a huge one for me ) I really fancy my friends sister and I have done now for the last couple of months I have tried everything to get her to notice me(difficult considering she is very busy working).and believe it or not I have only ever spoken to her 3 or 4 times, very short conversation at that lol Anyway I gave her loads of advice on a test she was doing and I even loaned her a dvd on the subject. Yet I added her on facebook and started chatting to her and she started off by saying ''Whos this'' and when I told her she gave short answers and took ages to reply to anything I said, Then mid conversation she went offline..

I saw her at a party a few weeks ago her and a few friends ended up sitting right near the buffet and I was over at it and got talking to an old friend and I swear I saw her looking yet she never even made any attempt to say Hello and she moved around a lot that night and I walked straight past her to go to the toilet and still nothing..

Do you guys think she is mad at me or somthing? I mean even a friendly hello would have made my day lol I don't think i'm asking for much??


All this might sound a bit childish but I am actually really hurt by all this. I really like this girl. I have never felt like this about anyone. I think about her all the time and even when I see her talk to anyother guy I really get upset. Last time I swear I had some kind of a panic attack or somthing, I felt like I couldnt breath for a few minutes..........


Advice appreciated people.,,,,,,,,,,

mikemac

Firstly OP, your username bothers me and I hope that now how this not how you will act
"upset" "made my day" "childish" "asking too much"

I fear you are obsessed or at least coming across as too needy and intense

helpmeobsessed.......... wrote: »

Yet I added her on facebook and started chatting to her and she started off by saying ''Whos this'' and when I told her she gave short answers and took ages to reply to anything I said, Then mid conversation she went offline..

I'm old enough to remember talking to people before we had sms text messages or facebook.
Don't chat online for now.
Things get misinterpreted, what you think is witty can come across as something offensive. Sarcasm rarely works. So give it a break for now

Not me though, my wit on boards is sparkling :pac:

helpmeobsessed.......... wrote: »

I saw her at a party a few weeks ago her and a few friends ended up sitting right near the buffet and I was over at it and got talking to an old friend and I swear I saw her looking yet she never even made any attempt to say Hello and she moved around a lot that night and I walked straight past her to go to the toilet and still nothing..

Do you guys think she is mad at me or somthing? I mean even a friendly hello would have made my day lol I don't think i'm asking for much??

Did you ever say hello?
Yeah it would have been nice if she came to you but why did you not go over?

fungun

to be quite blunt if a friend of a friend/sibling added me on fb and started chatting to me id be polite but no more responsive than i had to be....unless i as interested in them. In fact how she was on that fb chat is exactly how i am to someone i dont want to talk to.

So doesnt sound like she is interested in you at all and indeed hardly recognises you.

If this is how you feel:

I am actually really hurt by all this. I really like this girl. I have never felt like this about anyone. I think about her all the time and even when I see her talk to anyother guy I really get upset.

...then Id be worried. How have you never felt this way about anyone when you have never even really spoken to her?

So Ive 2 pronged advice:
If you are <18 or so: this is a crush and will pass in time....but get used to feeling his way a few times during your teenage years!
If you are older than this, seek help. Seriously. Once you are past the teenage years you should at least be able to manage her reaction/indifference to you in a mature fashion. Your initial attempts to contact her and strike up a chat are normal, your continued efforts and reaction to her indifference is bordering on the obsessive.

unattendedbag

She just sees you as some guy that pals around with her brother.
I'm not friends with any of my sisters mates and shes not friends with any of mine.

Best off to stay away from her from now on before you end up coming across as a stalker or weirdo to either your friend or his sister. Also think about how hurt or pissed off your friend could be if you even mentioned you fancy his sister. Not Cool!

Zen65

helpmeobsessed.......... wrote: »

Hey guys, I have a small problem (well it's a huge one for me )
.
.
.
.
Advice appreciated people.,,,,,,,,,,

Advice:

1. Delete your FB account. Honestly if you obsess about people through FB then you have issues and you should not torture yourself with it.

2. Forget about this girl, she has absolutely no interest in you, and would probably be horrified to think you had feelings for her. You've hardly spoken, which is a very reliable indicator that what you are feeling is teenage infatuation (regardless of what age you are). In fairness your friend would possibly feel "weird" if he knew how you felt about his sister.

3. Get out, meet real people in real situations, and enjoy these years. You will make mistakes, and sometimes make an ass of yourself. When I look back on my younger days those are the moments I laugh at the most.

Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

fungun wrote: »

to be quite blunt if a friend of a friend/sibling added me on fb and started chatting to me id be polite but no more responsive than i had to be....unless i as interested in them. In fact how she was on that fb chat is exactly how i am to someone i dont want to talk to.

.

Got it in one.

I've been on FB chat and if they want to talk to you, they'll respond properly.

Was on the other night when someone popped up to chat - I just logged off.

Forget about her.

justcheckin

If you are talking to somebody and they just "sign off" mid sentence then they are probably not interested in your feelings because EVERYBODY knows that's rude to a friend.

And you gotta not obsess over somebody, because if it goes any further and you cant handle a later disappointment then your feelings could really get hurt.

LegacyUser

That's amazing lol I just turned 18 a few weeks ago. See the thing that got me confused was that she told her brother that she thought I was cute and she also told him that it was obvious I fancied her. Which made me think maybe she was intrested in me.. I mean she knew her brother would say that back to me, she knows how close me and him are you see. Even when we were talking (face to face) she kept talking and talking which is why I was so suprised when she blanked me the other night......

Jesus I really feel like some kind of a freak now

fungun

what age is she?

Distorted

I know some people like it, but I hate Facebook chat. And it sounds like this girl does too. I like looking at what my friends are doing on FB, and updating my status, and I get quite irritated when some guy I barely know tries to chat me up on it. There I am, relaxing of an evening, and some random pops up with "Hey, how are u?" followed by "Have u had a gd day xxx?". I just can't be bothered and tbh it doesn't really give me a good impression of a guy that he spends all his spare time messaging random women on Facebook. I think you should get a real hobby, meet more people and if you bump into this girl again, maybe try and have a proper conversation with her. Then judging by her response, you might try keeping in touch occasionally.

LegacyUser

fungun wrote: »

what age is she?

she is 20 mate

Distorted wrote: »

I know some people like it, but I hate Facebook chat. And it sounds like this girl does too. I like looking at what my friends are doing on FB, and updating my status, and I get quite irritated when some guy I barely know tries to chat me up on it. There I am, relaxing of an evening, and some random pops up with "Hey, how are u?" followed by "Have u had a gd day xxx?". I just can't be bothered and tbh it doesn't really give me a good impression of a guy that he spends all his spare time messaging random women on Facebook. I think you should get a real hobby, meet more people and if you bump into this girl again, maybe try and have a proper conversation with her. Then judging by her response, you might try keeping in touch occasionally.

Believe it or not I hate FB full stop. I only joined because my friends pestered me for weeks and well everyone is on it these days which is why i set the account up. As for 'chatting her up' I didnt really try chat her up I asked her a few questions about the exam she took, the one I helped her pass BTW, She told me the result but then the conversation just ended after that which p'd me off because just before her test she asked me every question under the sun about the actual exam....


I suppose this could be an infatuation, I have been under a lot of pressure lately from my friends and family. Which has really put me down. I suppose thinking about her kinda got my mind off my own troubles for a while. Sad but true me thinks...

CDfm

18 lad well you are just starting out and she may think you are immature or anything.

ignore her on fb and move on use fb when you want and if you dont want to dont

if anything comes up laugh it off and say you got a bit of a crush but are over it

don't be dramatic -you are a young guy with loads of hormones that have a mind of their own. be thankful and enjoy them.:cool:

fungun

also girls at that age tend to be in to guys there own age or older.....even if she called you cute she prob sees you as "her little brothers friend" as opposed to an actual potential bf.
Id back off for now as it doesnt seem she is interested for now and if your interest stays and you are still friends with your mate, then in a few years who knows?