Finding your way in life

LegacyUser

A close relative of mine has to repeat next yr of college. My worry is this: she says she chose the course because she didn't really know what else to choose, & even now(aged21 still v young, I know) says she doesn't have the foggiest what she'd choose if she had to fill the CAO out again. Says nothing really interests her. Nothing! (she's not depressed, btw)

Should she bother repeating next year& paying huge fees for the remaining years? Considering it's a course she doesn't find stimulating& is basically just doing for the sake of doing, should she just quit and reapply for something the following year?
Or, as she has a couple of years down& there aren't much jobs in anything anyway, just plod along& get the degree as a step towards something else down the road?

How did you all figure out what you wanted to do in life? How can I help her find her way? I realise not everyone "loves" their job, but it's important to at least "like" it?

LegacyUser

addaerra wrote: »

A close relative of mine has to repeat next yr of college. My worry is this: she says she chose the course because she didn't really know what else to choose, & even now(aged21 still v young, I know) says she doesn't have the foggiest what she'd choose if she had to fill the CAO out again. Says nothing really interests her. Nothing! (she's not depressed, btw)

Should she bother repeating next year& paying huge fees for the remaining years? Considering it's a course she doesn't find stimulating& is basically just doing for the sake of doing, should she just quit and reapply for something the following year?
Or, as she has a couple of years down& there aren't much jobs in anything anyway, just plod along& get the degree as a step towards something else down the road?

How did you all figure out what you wanted to do in life? How can I help her find her way? I realise not everyone "loves" their job, but it's important to at least "like" it?

Hi OP, well she knows what she doesnt want at the moment and thats good! the more she listens to herself the more she will start to trust her gut, maybe she has been making choices to suit everyone else, what if she did drop out of college and tred something else, what if she dropped out and took some time off?? Ooooo sounds like a crime! taking time off, but i think if people need space to think it should be ok! ...... we are always under so much pressure to conform to conventional ways as well if it doesn't suit her tell her its ok. How you find out what your best job could be is to look at your passions, if there is something you do naturally and are naturally good at it there lies your answer. You dont have to be a passionate about big things, someone might just like cooking, or singing, or being a radio host (there is a course in that) lol others might like drawing, working with children, sports etc, it is just my philospphy on life but the sooner you start to work at your passion the sooner your dream job can come about, that book 'the secret' is about manifesting your dreams, there are other books and things as well you could google like a quiz to understanding your soul type... heres one...

http://www.soundstrue.com/quiz/instruction/index.html

All these things help you get the ball rolling to understanding what it is you really want. Tell her she is just having a reaction to something that is not right for her, there is lots of other things she can do and she can take control of her life and make her own choices... G'udLuck xoxo

Trashbat

addaerra wrote: »

A close relative of mine has to repeat next yr of college. My worry is this: she says she chose the course because she didn't really know what else to choose, & even now(aged21 still v young, I know) says she doesn't have the foggiest what she'd choose if she had to fill the CAO out again. Says nothing really interests her. Nothing! (she's not depressed, btw)

She is very much not alone here. A degree is always helpful, and if there's nothing else she wants to do, there's no harm in continuing. At the very least, studying allows her the opportunity to get involved in clubs and socs, which could help her to find her real passion

addaerra wrote: »

Should she bother repeating next year& paying huge fees for the remaining years? Considering it's a course she doesn't find stimulating& is basically just doing for the sake of doing, should she just quit and reapply for something the following year?

i presume she'll only pay fees for the repeat. He standard tuition is covered for the basic degree (unless things have changed). It not that much of an investment really. Reapplying will put her in the same position.

addaerra wrote: »

Or, as she has a couple of years down& there aren't much jobs in anything anyway, just plod along& get the degree as a step towards something else down the road?

Depends really. There's nothing stopping her going back and doing post grads or other degrees in the future. She doesnt need to be so eager to grow up, relax and take your time. Entering a career at 22 or 26 are no different really.

addaerra wrote: »

How did you all figure out what you wanted to do in life? How can I help her find her way? I realise not everyone "loves" their job, but it's important to at least "like" it?

quick andwer: didn't. Very few people do. Its nice of you to want to help her find her way, and great if you have found your way, but really the best thing you can do is help her understand that these things take time and she shouldnt worry.

thefeatheredcat

If she doesn't find the course stimulating or of interest, is it going to be personally fulfilling for her? If she continues, will she find it hard to focus or struggle with exams?

When I started college, there were far too many people in the course and the majority were there just for the sake of it or college experience as was the done thing to go direct into college after LC. Down through the years, most left and by my final year it was whittled down to the core of people with genuine interest and talent in the course who had actively participated in lectures and tutorials.

College isn't for everyone and I came across many people who didn't know what they wanted and just took whatever they got, stayed a while and moved onto other courses or dropped out and worked instead.

If she is in doubt about what options she has, she should speak to a career counsellor or even use something like careers world - they may help her identify strengths and interests that hasn't been previously thought of and could actually move into a different course.

If nothing truly interests her, then perhaps taking a time out would be a good thing so that she has focus to learn a bit more about herself and her interests, even take off travelling a while (doesn't have to be outside Ireland but just getting a different perspective on life). She may find something of interest that never in a million years would have come to light otherwise.

I haven't figured out what I want to do in life (I'm only 28 btw) but it does take time to even ask the question and then go on the quest to find it. And even so, life changes, so the holy grail of an answer may just be temporary based on circumstances in life at its current pace. It's not set in stone and will always evolve at different stages of life.

But I do know that what i pursued in college was something I always had an interest in from childhood and that I've actually gone back in time (so to speak) to look at things I liked and the ideas I had of when I grew up what I wanted to be and let myself go from there.