Just ended a 3yr relationship - nothing can be worth this heatache?

LegacyUser

In short, things ended with my boyfriend after 3 years in early august this year. All thoughout our relationship he smoked weed which led to argument after argument. It made him an extremely paranoid person, to the point at which he wouldnt let me out the house in fear i would cheat on him. This was difficult to deal with because I was undeniably faithful to him, I never even looked at another guy and he hasnt one single reason to doubt me.

After living together for 6 months i just couldnt take it. I moved back to my parents and said things had to change. I suggest he get counselling - he has some dark demons to face from his past, which is why i think he turns to weed to forget his problems - and he made the calls and agreed it would help.

I told him before I moved back i wanted to see he was serious about our life and future by not smoking the drugs and he agreed. A week after i had moved back in he came home drunk after a night out and smoked a joint with our next door neighbour - i found out from the neighbour the next day. To try and be reasonable I didnt bring anything up that day. The next day he started yelling at me about going to the shop for milk - he said i hadnt gone to the shop as we had a half a pint left and we didnt need any - accusing me again - and being defensive i brought up the fact that he smoked a joint. he denied it for about 30 minutes and because he couldnt ever stand to be caught out he told me i had to sleep on the floor that night. needless to say i went back to my parents and never returned.

the love we had for one another was out of this world. i felt like i connected with him on so many levels. we were passionate and had a very caring relationship - when we werent arguing - which makes me think, was it all worth it? I think to myself, should i let this great love go? i know it will get easier, but im frightened this is all wrong. Im scared Ive let something go. I wanted to spend my life with this man, but he broke my trust on so many occasions and at the time it mattered the most for him to keep the drugs out of his life, he didnt care.

should you ever close the door on love?

LegacyUser

yes sometimes you should walk away from love....

if there is a wee nigle at all that things arent right and you have given it the last chance, and the last chance, and the last chance again... then do yourself a favour and walk.

it will possibly be one of the hardest things you will have to do but your doing yourself no favours by staying. Theres a whole other life you can have besides the one your putting up with now...

2 years ago i walked away from a relationship of over 3 years, with my little 6 month old son in tow. things werent good, not bad but not good, in my relationship and i knew in my heart for a long while but then fell pregnant and thought for the sake of my son id give it "one last go". although i dont regret trying I kinda feel that if id listened to my heart originally that i wouldnt be in the predicament i then found myself in when i finally decided that enough was enough.

It was SO hard on my own, trying to do everything that needed doing but i soon got used to it. you learn to survive without that person that once seemed so important in your life.

after the heartache subsides you will realise that there is more to life than being one part of a bad relationship!

I moved counties, went back to college, life is great and im happy, truelly happy for the first time in years and its not because of some guy as im still single. im just happy! I do have my days when i get lonely and miss the company but its not the relationship or the person i miss its purely the company.

so yes sometimes you do need to shut the door on love so other doors can open that will bring a million other prospects that might not have come to light had you stayed in your relationship.... you deserve to be happy

shellyboo

Should you walk out on a man who makes you sleep on the floor due to an argument over milk? Categorically, yes.

Ickle Magoo

Does it even count as a great connection if he's neurotically paranoid and makes your relationship a misery to be a part of? That's part of the connection, isn't it? That you trust each other and have fun, that you can get a pint of milk without WWIII ensuing? Sounds like a horrendously unhealthy relationship - do you realise how awful it sounds from the outside? You might be crazy about the guy but I think you are far better off without having to deal with that, whatever it is, it isn't love.

There are millions of lovely guys out there, why settle for someone who breaks your trust so many times, or who argues with you because of his own paranoia?

All the best.

Zen65

heartbrokenandconfused wrote: »

should you ever close the door on love?

When it comes with so much baggage, so much potential to harm you and any family you might have together..... yes!

Don't just close the door, lock it behind you.


Be at peace,

Z