Is a kiss no big deal?

LegacyUser

From a guy you really like?

I have fancied a guy for ages and nothing happened until a few weeks ago. There was a night out where at the end of the night he kissed me on the lips. It wouldn't have been much of problem if he was drunk but he was sober. He always knew i fancied him so i guess he was only looking for an ego boost. The kiss kind of led me on a bit. A pek on the cheek would have done but just to go straight for my lips.

Oh it wasn't until after i found out he has a girlfriend. I knew i should have walked away but i thought just maybe. We kept in touch and it was him ringing me a couple of times. Kind of led me on more. He has a girlfriend, keeps in touch with me with a girl he knows that likes him. I think that is wrong on his part. He's playing me - isn't he? And please dont turn it around on me, telling me i knew he has a gf. I like him alot.

All his talk and the kiss really led me on, so i asked him to make up his mind. Think he already did by telling me the kiss was no big deal. So i hung up on him.

I like him alot but why did he have to do this? I haven't eaten anything properly and lost a stone in weight in a month. Why do i feel so rotten?

Sanjuro

nobigdeal wrote: »

From a guy you really like?

I have fancied a guy for ages and nothing happened until a few weeks ago. There was a night out where at the end of the night he kissed me on the lips. It wouldn't have been much of problem if he was drunk but he was sober. He always knew i fancied him so i guess he was only looking for an ego boost. The kiss kind of led me on a bit. A pek on the cheek would have done but just to go straight for my lips.

Oh it wasn't until after i found out he has a girlfriend. I knew i should have walked away but i thought just maybe. We kept in touch and it was him ringing me a couple of times. Kind of led me on more. He has a girlfriend, keeps in touch with me with a girl he knows that likes him. I think that is wrong on his part. He's playing me - isn't he? And please dont turn it around on me, telling me i knew he has a gf. I like him alot.

All his talk and the kiss really led me on, so i asked him to make up his mind. Think he already did by telling me the kiss was no big deal. So i hung up on him.

I like him alot but why did he have to do this? I haven't eaten anything properly and lost a stone in weight in a month. Why do i feel so rotten?

Well, OP, it seems you already know the answer to this. If he has a girlfriend and is kissing you, I'd be inclined to tell you that he is indeed stringing you along. You know that, but you're just looking for hope from PI, where there really is none. Sorry that this guy led you on, but try not to take it personally. It's not your fault at all. Some guys are just jerk-offs.

cats.life

oh the dirty rotten swine, at least you didnt sleep with him..how come you didnt know he had a girlfriend , i mean is what did ye talk about when you were with him, surly it would have come up in conversation at some point, where was she when he gave you that kiss? just give him a very wide berth from now on, eat somthing HE IS NOT WORTH THE EMPTY TUMMY.

kjl

what kind of kiss, I kiss my female friends on the lips all the time. If he used tongue then maybe you have a case.

LegacyUser

kjl wrote: »

what kind of kiss, I kiss my female friends on the lips all the time. If he used tongue then maybe you have a case.

No tongue used. Do you kiss your female friends and pull them in close to you? And go for a second kiss?

whatsamsn

As for why you say you have had a weightloss is because I think its just on your mind too much. Your original post sounds like you are questioning did you act right? does he really like you? is he using you? what does the kiss mean?

Your just thinking about it too much

Sad thing is this guy is a jerk-off as Sanjuro nicely put
he has a gf. all you would ever be is a bit on the side. Pity the girlfriend tho. Shes in for a bad ending.

Zen65

nobigdeal wrote: »

I like him alot but why did he have to do this?

Because he knew he could, and that you'd not turn him away. You did nothing wrong, so don't torture yourself over this.

Yes, he was being callous to you, though he probably finds you attractive if he wanted the kiss. But he has a gf so it's not going to happen between you.

Losing weight and not eating is an extreme response on your part. You need to take a deep breath and move on. The relationship isn't going to happen, but you can chose to see this as a learning experience.

Be at peace; eat, sleep well.

Z

HavingCrack

kjl wrote: »

what kind of kiss, I kiss my female friends on the lips all the time. If he used tongue then maybe you have a case.

Wow what sort of female friends do you have :eek:

Silverfish

Please keep replies on-topic and helpful to the OP.

Thanks.

CDfm

Some people do not finish a relationship without having another to go to.

Its called monkey bars.

Its a bit naughty but why not ask him -the reason you wont is that you fear rejection. I am for asking as you really do not knowfor sure what is going on.

Hate to be blunt but...

Forget it. Forget him. If you're holding onto hope that he's going to turn around, leave his gf and fall for you, it ain't gonna happen. If somehow it did happen, would you really wanna be with someone who you know for a fact kisses other girls? If he'd kiss someone outside his relationship sober, what do you think he does with other girls when he's drunk? It's extremely unlikely that you're the only girl it's happened with. I know you probably want to believe it happened because he's crazy about you, but it's not. You've described the kiss as something that was serious enough to be wrong given he's in a relationship, ie. he cheated. Cheaters rarely cheat once.

As for not turning it around on you, I totally get that it's his fault, but you cant use "I like him a lot" as a way of ignoring the fact he has a girlfriend. You asked why you feel so rotten? It's probably because you feel disappointed that you know it won't work with him but you don't want to let go of it. Let go. Walk away because you know he's not worth it.

Again, apologies if I've been harsh, I know the situation is taking it's toll on you.

true-or-false

true-or-false wrote: »

Hate to be blunt but...

Forget it. Forget him. If you're holding onto hope that he's going to turn around, leave his gf and fall for you, it ain't gonna happen. If somehow it did happen, would you really wanna be with someone who you know for a fact kisses other girls? If he'd kiss someone outside his relationship sober, what do you think he does with other girls when he's drunk? It's extremely unlikely that you're the only girl it's happened with. I know you probably want to believe it happened because he's crazy about you, but it's not. You've described the kiss as something that was serious enough to be wrong given he's in a relationship, ie. he cheated. Cheaters rarely cheat once.

+ 1 billion. I don't think it's impossible that he'll leave the gf, but look at the sort of person he is! If he's done it to her, he'll do it to you. I know you really want to think this is a one off for him and he did it because he's crazy about you, but that's really, really, really unlikely.

As for not turning it around on you, I totally get that it's his fault, but you cant use "I like him a lot" as a way of ignoring the fact he has a girlfriend.

I agree. How incredibly selfish. It doesn't matter if you like him a lot. He has a girlfriend. Just think for one moment about how you'd feel if some other woman was after your boyfriend, not giving a crap about you or the life you'd built together because she 'liked him a lot'. Stop playing the innocent victim. He's not playing you. He's told you the truth about the girlfriend and you're continuing to lap up the attention and hope he'll dump her for you. Sure he's in the wrong, but so are you. If he's really interested, he'll break up with her and then ask you out. He's either on an ego boost, or putting the feelers out to gauge your interest before he dumps the girlfriend. Would you really want to go out with someone like that? Would you want to worry every time he went out without you that he was going to do the same as he did with you?