Why is he still in touch?

LegacyUser

I meet a guy through a internet dating site. The date went well. We meet in a pub and had a couple of drinks. The date only lasted two hours because I had to catch the last bus. We had swapped number before the date and he has sent a few text since and has sent a few e-mail via the dating site but it's only one text or e-mail at a time, he is not being very chatty. I really think he isn't interested but don't understand why he is still in touch if that is the case. Could it be that he is just trying to keep me handing on to keep his options open?

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

He could be trying to suss out if you are interested or you could be one of several people he's met from the dating website and he's just keeping in touch in case he decides he wants to take things further. I would get on and get meeting other people and if he asks you out then you have something tangible to consider otherwise just assume he's not all that interested or at least not interested enough to risk asking for date No2.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Hey OP,

He could be trying to suss out if you are interested or you could be one of several people he's met from the dating website and he's just keeping in touch in case he decides he wants to take things further. I would get on and get meeting other people and if he asks you out then you have something tangible to consider otherwise just assume he's not all that interested or at least not interested enough to risk asking for date No2.

All the best.

That's what I'm doing but can't help wonder why he is in touch and not asking for another date. I think it's better to not stay in touch with someone rather that string someone along.

_Kaiser_

don'tunderstand wrote: »

That's what I'm doing but can't help wonder why he is in touch and not asking for another date. I think it's better to not stay in touch with someone rather that string someone along.

Why not take the initiative and ask him out on the 2nd date? Maybe he's just not a big texting fan.

By the sounds of it the date went well, so there's a good chance he's interested - if not, well then at least you know and you tried and you can move on.

shellyboo

don'tunderstand wrote: »

I meet a guy through a internet dating site. The date went well. We meet in a pub and had a couple of drinks. The date only lasted two hours because I had to catch the last bus. We had swapped number before the date and he has sent a few text since and has sent a few e-mail via the dating site but it's only one text or e-mail at a time, he is not being very chatty. I really think he isn't interested but don't understand why he is still in touch if that is the case. Could it be that he is just trying to keep me handing on to keep his options open?

If I was on a date and the person left after 2 hours to catch the last bus I'd think they were blowing me off and weren't interested. Why not organise to meet earlier or something? I would say he's sussing YOU out to see if you're still interested. Ask him out again!

LegacyUser

shellyboo wrote: »

If I was on a date and the person left after 2 hours to catch the last bus I'd think they were blowing me off and weren't interested. Why not organise to meet earlier or something? I would say he's sussing YOU out to see if you're still interested. Ask him out again!

He knew in advance what bus I had to get. To get a taxi would have cost about €60, if not way more, so wasn't an option. With work and travel we couldn't have meet earlier.

I not going to ask him out. He was all chat via e-mail before we meet but hardly at all. To me that means he isn't interested. That's why I don't get why he is in touch at all.

shellyboo

don'tunderstand wrote: »

He knew in advance what bus I had to get. To get a taxi would have cost about €60, if not way more, so wasn't an option. With work and travel we couldn't have meet earlier.

I not going to ask him out. He was all chat via e-mail before we meet but hardly at all. To me that means he isn't interested. That's why I don't get why he is in touch at all.

If you don't want to talk to him anymore, stop responding. If you want to see him again, ask. Doesn't matter why HE'S in touch, only matters what YOU want.

Thibor

Hi OP,
The way I read your posts is that you're not that into him, am I wrong?

Maybe he isn't as "chatty" because he feels you're being a little colder towards him and therefore he isn't sure where he stands.
The fact that you're not willing to ask him out shows that you're not interested, why don't you just tell him, rather than leave him confused.

The fact that you met him on an internet site can mean that he's either not very confident with women, or that he's just using it as a means to end end (you know what I mean).
If it's the first, then maybe you're lack of enthusiasm in arranging another date is confusing him and therefore just telling him straight out will clear things up for him and get him out of your hair, means everyone is a winner (in the long run, he'll feel like a loser at first, but not as much as if he's kept in the dark).
If it's option number 2, then he won't be too bothered and will stop trying to talk to you altogether, and everyone's a winner.

Thats just my view, I could be wrong, but if I were you, thats what I'd do.

LegacyUser

Thibor I did want to see him again but not so sure now because of the way he is being. It's spoiling it really. And you have it wrong, I am all chat, asking questions, making an effort etc where as he will text/e-mail one line and has even take three day to reply to a text message once!

Distorted

I don't think I would bother chasing him either OP! If you are put off by his behaviour, you are probably picking up on something via instinct that the rest of us can't. One of the things I dislike about the concept of internet dating is that it provides people with a large number of easily obtained quick dates and sometimes I think that makes people work less hard to get to know someone with whom fireworks don't instantly happen. If he has 2 or 3 or more on the go at the same time, it would explain his behaviour. He may well like you but if he's that busy, he's not going to bother that much. And unless he's Brad Pitt, I wouldn't be running around after him shouting "Me, me! Pick me!"

mackbolan

You'll never know unless you ask him.

Thibor

Apologies OP,
I must have read it wrong then. Ah if you're making an effort to have actual conversations, and he's not bothered with more than 1 line then just call it a day with him. You're not looking for mindgames etc, and he's making it hard for you to figure out where you stand.

mood

Thibor wrote: »

The fact that you met him on an internet site can mean that he's either not very confident with women, or that he's just using it as a means to end end (you know what I mean).

Why assume that? I'm on a dating site - the main reason is because I don't go out as often as I used too because most of my friend are settles down and hardly ever come out any more.