is a year a long time to be apart?

LegacyUser

What do you think, can a relationship have any chance if one person has to go away for a year. I have an opportunity to travel abroad on a once-in-a-lifetime work placement, which would hopefully increase my experience and be great on my CV. I have been with my boyfriend 3 years. We don't live together, although we would like to. We're both 30, yet broke and trying hard to get work in very different areas (he's working in a factory, I am trying to get work in the area I studied which is very difficult). I don't have very many other options in terms of staying in Ireland....
The job offer is in South America, possibly in a rural area. I have toyed with the idea of my bf coming with me but he has no money and can't speak spanish. I don't know what to do. I love him and we had planned a future together in some ways.
Is it unrealistic to think we could seperate for a year and then get back together? I will be so busy I could easily not be with anyone else, but what about him? What sort of ground-rules would be set, and how? Obviously I'll be very upset for the first while but surely I'm a big girl and I'd get over it? I'm scared. I don't want to lose him...
I have spoken to him about it but he thinks I worry too much and it will work itself out. I don't know if he realises, (i) that I'm probably going and (ii) that I won't be able to get to internet much of the time, or stay on the phone. I don't know what goes on in his head half the time, he's not very expressive so it's difficult to know how he feels about things. He's very supportive of me and wants me to do well.
Has anyone had a long period apart like this???

AnnyHallsal

I haven't, but I know a couple who coped with a year apart really well and are now, in fact, married. There is a difference though, he only moved to mainland Europe and so came home about once a month. If I was in your shoes I'd go for it, nurture the relationship as best I could while away and hope for the best.

Richy06

It could work, depending on how much contact ye'd have. If ye love each other enough though, he'll wait or come with you. Never been away from my one for that length of time, but personally speaking if a similar situation happened to us, where there would be no contact at all, I don't know if it'd work.

LegacyUser

Well I am in my late 30's and have not been lucky enough to find a loving partner. I have the job, the house, the friends etc etc but would love to meet someone to love. Knowing now what I know about love and the mistake I made in years gone by where I put friends, work etc before my ex-partners, I would strongly recommend that, at 30, you do not place an experience ahead of a strong loving partner and a good relationship...

I think people dont place enough importance on healthy and good relationships.. No job, experience etc is worth losing a good 3 year partnership that has lifelong potential...

It may work for you both and you may be able to get your cake and eat it but chances are you will grow away from your bf and he will feel left behind...

Best of luck with your decision..

Kimia

One thing jumped out at me OP, the way you said you 'toyed' with the idea of your bf coming with you. In my experience if I was offered a job abroad there would be no question about my bf not coming with me, it would be a given. It sounds like you're not fully committed to each other perhaps? In that case, I wouldn't have much confidence about you being together after a year apart.

C0N0R

Have you spoke to him about it? My sister went travelling for a year and her bf of about three years stayed at home. They are still together now after seven years so yes it can be done. It really depends on the couple and the relationship. If neither of you are comfortable with the situation then it wont work.