Why Me?

LegacyUser

Ok basically I am a young guy who is shy and short of confidence when it comes to girls. I do not know how to approach them, never have and I am afraid I never will. Only confidence I do get is when I have a few drinks.
Last Wednesday when leaving the nightclub I was a bit drunk and I lost all my friends and was walking around all on lonesome so i just decided ill chance O 'Connell street to see if I met anyone I knew. But to no avail so i was just about to get in a taxi when i noticed a girl from my course who looked very upset so i asked her did she want this taxi and I will get another one. I noticed she was a small bit drunk too. However she insisted that we share to cut the price. So when in the taxi she said she had noticed me a few times and said she knew some of my friends etc. After we got out of the taxi I asked her did she want me to walk her alone because it was dark and she said no problem and a tiny bit of flirting happened along the way. Then she just grabbed my hand. Nothing major I know but still. Then i said Ill just walk her to the entrance of her student block because I did not want to be stuck talking to her friends/flat mates because they would gossip about how we came home together and all that lark. So we exchanged numbers and then she hugged me and said goodnight but I stupidly went to kiss her. She pulled back and I apologized but then she leaned in and we kissed. Now folks I am not joking it was without a doubt the most amazing moment of my life just from the way we kissed. Afterwards she just said I will talk to you tomorrow and I calmly said Ok goodnight and strolled away.
The next night we were at same nightclub and i saw her but she was with her friends so I just backed off. But she definitely saw me and looked away when i Looked. We ended up at same apres party and i just saluted her and went talking. She left when i went to look for her and the following night I met her in different nightclub but was too nervous togo up to her.

Sorry about the long story but I thought I should tell the background. Every male in my course always remarks about this girl when she passes us and the other day I just said she is unbelievable and so nice then one of lads noticed me seeming odd so he made the assumption we were with each other so i had to clear it up and said we only kissed. But now everyone knows and this doesn't help me at all because she is like a ten and i am at best a 4 so she knows she can do better.

My problem is I added her on facebook and she hasn't responded, could simply be down to her not logging on. But i have her number and am so tempted to text her and apologise for everyone knowing because I really really like her after only one real meaningful encounter, stupid I know but I felt a spark.
What should I do? Just leave it and hope we meet again? Wait for facebook and talk to her there? Text her? One of her friends is a good friend of mine so I could just see if she said anything? Or forget about her altogether?

Help please and again sorry about the long post!!

dudara

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but MEN!!!

Look at this from this angle OP. You and this girl kissed one night. You then met her out on two later occasions and neither time did you talk to her. You treated this situation as if it never happened despite it being "amazing".

I know you find this hard due to to being shy, but what you need to do right now is take a chance. Text her, or email her, or even *talk* to her and ask her if she could like to see a movie/have a drink/cup of coffee with you.

Stand up man and take that chance.

Kidchameleon

Unregistered123 wrote: »

i noticed a girl from my course who looked very upset

OP id recommend you get to the bottom of what was upsetting her

Zen65

Unregistered123 wrote: »

My problem is I added her on facebook and she hasn't responded, could simply be down to her not logging on.

My son, this is not the problem at all.

The problem is that you did not follow up immediately the next time you met her... instead you played some kind of "cool" game, not even getting over to talk to her. How do you think that looks to her?

In life, question everything, but don't ever ask the question "why me?"

Put your Facebook account away now and go talk to her, find out how she is and how she feels about what happened between you that night. The time to be "shy" is well past. Demand more of yourself!


Be at peace,

Z

(Never a day goes by when I don't thank fortune that I did my courting in an era before the internet, and before FaceBook)

darad

Pick up the phone and chat!!

Thibor

Hi Op,
I think maybe you left it too long to talk to her. You say you saw her the next night in a club, that was the perfect time to talk to her again and gauge where you stood.
By leaving it a couple of days AND by talking about hooking up with her, it looks like you were just getting what you could and boasting.

Stop with the Facebook, drop her a text/call and actually talk to her.
If she doesn't want to talk, she won't, either way it's the only way to know exactly where you stand

mackbolan

The question you need to ask is 'If not now, when?'
You like this girl, she likes you because she wouldn't have kissed you if she didn't and while you are waiting for the right time, the door is closing and could slam shut.
You are terrified of messing it up but what you are doing right now is messing it up.
Take the bull by the horns, next time you see her, take her to one side and talk with her.
She might tell you she already has a boyfriend or that it was a mistake or she might say she really likes you too.
You have nothing to lose.
If you don't do anything about it, the door is going to close and she will go off with some other guy next time.

At the same time, if things go wrong, keep in mind that there are any number of other girls who would like you too. This girl obviously saw something nice about you so lots of other girls probably do too.
You have to talk to more women and ask them out.
Get used to going out with women regularly in future.

Stop waiting until you have some drink down and then making a clumsy move.

Most importantly stop worrying about what other people think. You are the guy she kissed. Not the other guys. They are only waiting to step into your shoes.
Are they going to be in the bedroom watching you and this girl in bed if things go according to plan?

Go for it. Make a fool of yourself if you have to. Don't worry about making any mistakes because chasing this girl is not a mistake.

Best of luck champ.