Fresher's Weak Leaflet/application Query

JamesJB

**Freshers' Week...brain malfunction

I'm referring to the leaflet all JF people get sent out (along with the SU information etc.) that has the offer to buy tickets for the four nights during Freshers' Week for €25.

I probably sound like every other newbie making a thread like this but I'll get right to it. I'm a non-drinker (not for any religious/moral/statement-making reasons) and also a pretty introverted guy. All that means is that, though I do have friends and can be reasonably good company (or so I'm told :rolleyes:) I really just don't do well at parties/events like that.

I want to meet people and avoid any possibility of appearing too unfriendly, (I'm pretty unapproachable...or so I'm told) so I reckon that going on those nights out would be a pretty good way to meet people. However, given that I'm just not all that fun at a club or a pub and that I don't drink...would I be wasting my time?

I know it's more of a 'well it's up to you' type situation, as well as a 'you'll just have to see' one, but I'm genuinely out of the loop when it comes to these things. Think of that person you know who could spend weeks alone, or would prefer to sit in with a good movie/book/game or a small gathering of friends over a party. I'm that guy.

Sorry if this seems ridiculous, it's just something that's on my mind. I'm sure that everyone is apprehensive about being in a new environment. :cool:

- James

Jammyc

JamesJB wrote: »

**Freshers' Week...brain malfunction

I'm referring to the leaflet all JF people get sent out (along with the SU information etc.) that has the offer to buy tickets for the four nights during Freshers' Week for €25.

I probably sound like every other newbie making a thread like this but I'll get right to it. I'm a non-drinker (not for any religious/moral/statement-making reasons) and also a pretty introverted guy. All that means is that, though I do have friends and can be reasonably good company (or so I'm told :rolleyes:) I really just don't do well at parties/events like that.

I want to meet people and avoid any possibility of appearing too unfriendly, (I'm pretty unapproachable...or so I'm told) so I reckon that going on those nights out would be a pretty good way to meet people. However, given that I'm just not all that fun at a club or a pub and that I don't drink...would I be wasting my time?

I know it's more of a 'well it's up to you' type situation, as well as a 'you'll just have to see' one, but I'm genuinely out of the loop when it comes to these things. Think of that person you know who could spend weeks alone, or would prefer to sit in with a good movie/book/game or a small gathering of friends over a party. I'm that guy.

Sorry if this seems ridiculous, it's just something that's on my mind. I'm sure that everyone is apprehensive about being in a new environment. :cool:

- James

IMO these nights arent the best way to meet friends, unless you're skilled at speaking over blaring music and seeing people in almost darkness.

JamesJB

Jammyc wrote: »

IMO these nights arent the best way to meet friends, unless you're skilled at speaking over blaring music and seeing people in almost darkness.

Hmm, and yet I'm being encouraged to go out every night to meet people. Perhaps I'll still make an effort to go out, just not to those places. Thanks for the reply.

theowen

JamesJB wrote: »

Hmm, and yet I'm being encouraged to go out every night to meet people. Perhaps I'll still make an effort to go out, just not to those places. Thanks for the reply.

Maybe the pub crawls would be a better option?

bythewoods

I bought one of those wristbands last year...

TBH, I think you'd probably be better off just paying individually into the nights you want to go to, instead of being tied down into going to them all. Bit of a waste tbh, and by the 4th night on the trot you'll defo be way too wrecked/ penniless.

JamesJB

theowen wrote: »

Maybe the pub crawls would be a better option?

Possibly, but as I mentioned I'm just not a drinker. Not to be insulting to anyone but I just don't see the appeal, and it's against my nature. It certainly helps people to loosen up and socialise, I'll say that. All I really wish to do is meet people with similar interests, make friends, possibly more...usual stuff really.

Thanks, though.

bythewoods wrote: »

I bought one of those wristbands last year...

TBH, I think you'd probably be better off just paying individually into the nights you want to go to, instead of being tied down into going to them all. Bit of a waste tbh, and by the 4th night on the trot you'll defo be way too wrecked/ penniless.

Many thanks. I was thinking of just seeing what people are doing and then go with that. I already mailed the form in (I sent it as soon as I got it, which is unlike me) so I'll probably just tell them I've changed my mind if they call me or whatever. It seemed like a good deal at the time.

theowen

JamesJB wrote: »

Possibly, but as I mentioned I'm just not a drinker. Not to be insulting to anyone but I just don't see the appeal, and it's against my nature. It certainly helps people to loosen up and socialise, I'll say that. All I really wish to do is meet people with similar interests, make friends, possibly more...usual stuff really.

Thanks, though.



Many thanks. I was thinking of just seeing what people are doing and then go with that. I already mailed the form in (I sent it as soon as I got it, which is unlike me) so I'll probably just tell them I've changed my mind if they call me or whatever. It seemed like a good deal at the time.

Ah k. Oh yeah, there was another form sure in that pack. Forget the particulars but it puts you in groups with people from your course/others who just want to know people.

aas

JamesJB wrote: »

Possibly, but as I mentioned I'm just not a drinker. Not to be insulting to anyone but I just don't see the appeal, and it's against my nature. It certainly helps people to loosen up and socialise, I'll say that. All I really wish to do is meet people with similar interests, make friends, possibly more...usual stuff really.

Thanks, though.

Plenty of people go to pubs and drink water or coke or whatever. You should try some alcohol though, you might see the appeal if you give it a go.

JamesJB

aas wrote: »

Plenty of people go to pubs and drink water or coke or whatever. You should try some alcohol though, you might see the appeal if you give it a go.

I actually do see the appeal. I get it, I just don't agree with it for some personal reasons. I don't mean to make myself look too uptight or like a buzzkill or something, it's just the way I am

lucernarian

The freshers week events are not really about going to a pub and having the craic with fellow first years. They're much more geared towards getting locked tbh and anyone I knew who wasn't there for that were only going in to a club if they managed a free concession/V.I.P. list and they knew people there anyway etc.

Pub crawls are a much better idea for you I think. And some societies will be running their own evening events over the week or in the days and weeks after. With the added bonus of a club/society having people who have common interests, conversation etc.

And a word of advice: I wouldn't care so much about how it's going to go. The friends you make are probably not going to care about how in or out of the "loop" you are. Freshers week in particular was never great for making plans if I recall:D You'll have to get used to the uncertainty of fresher's week and not feel tempted to stay away from everything. There are so many things to do during the day at least, that won't have anything to do with smelly/noisy niteclubs. Everything will fall into place if you avoid things you know will bug you and tell yourself to take part in everything else:) Life's far too short to keep yourself company, and freshers week definitely so!

Larianne

Come to the TCD beers the week after Freshers week and meet all us weirdos lovely people!

So, we will be going to the Pav but it will be less crazy than freshers week and seeing as I've frickin 9am starts I won't be drinking much, if at all!

My friend only started drinking when he turned 21 recently but he was always out in the Pav and going to clubs etc. It can be done!

I wouldn't bother doing the nights out thing. I didn't go to the fresher's week nights out and I don't think it did me any harm. I totally get the whole not drinking thing, sometimes when I go out with mates who are drinking I'm just sick of it and don't drink for the night, but I do get a bit of hassle about it. If you get to know people in a non-drinking setting and then go to the stuff after fresher's week (like the aforementioned pub crawls) people will see you as you and will know that you're just not drinking. If people get to know you in a drinking setting (some noisy club during fresher's week) and you're not drinking, their first impression will be that you don't drink and it'll become your major characteristic to them. Also there's bound to be some nervous smart alec who thinks he'll be the big man if he drinks everyone under the table and points out that your on the 7up to boost his own ego. I'd say you'll be grand just letting people get to know you as yourself first.
I do drink but I still would only bother with pub crawls rather than clubs and stuff, as even after fresher's week the club nights out seem to just be about getting locked.

Mark200

To be honest I think you should just go to whatever is on on Monday night and see how it goes. The first night of Freshers' Week is when everyone is all chatty and trying to make friends and stuff.... their first college night out and all that. I remember last year and the year before you'd just get people randomly coming up to you and starting conversations. Far more often than on just a normal club night. You've got nothing to lose really. If you have a **** night, so what? It's just one night. If you have a good night then you could go to the other nights out during Freshers' Week.

And if you think you'd be uncomfortable with people knowing you don't drink you can always just lie and say there's vodka in your coke or something. Not a big deal.

JamesJB

To_be_confirmed wrote: »

And a word of advice: I wouldn't care so much about how it's going to go. The friends you make are probably not going to care about how in or out of the "loop" you are. Freshers week in particular was never great for making plans if I recall:D You'll have to get used to the uncertainty of fresher's week and not feel tempted to stay away from everything. There are so many things to do during the day at least, that won't have anything to do with smelly/noisy niteclubs. Everything will fall into place if you avoid things you know will bug you and tell yourself to take part in everything else:) Life's far too short to keep yourself company, and freshers week definitely so!

Pretty sound advice, thanks. I'll just do whatever seems enjoyable to me.

Larianne wrote: »

Come to the TCD beers the week after Freshers week and meet all us weirdos lovely people!

Maybe I will :cool:

My friend only started drinking when he turned 21 recently but he was always out in the Pav and going to clubs etc. It can be done!

I've been out with friends who drink before, it's not like it's a big deal. For the most part, though, they'll just avoid inviting me since they know I probably won't enjoy it.

true-or-false wrote: »

If you get to know people in a non-drinking setting and then go to the stuff after fresher's week (like the aforementioned pub crawls) people will see you as you and will know that you're just not drinking. If people get to know you in a drinking setting (some noisy club during fresher's week) and you're not drinking, their first impression will be that you don't drink and it'll become your major characteristic to them. Also there's bound to be some nervous smart alec who thinks he'll be the big man if he drinks everyone under the table and points out that your on the 7up to boost his own ego. I'd say you'll be grand just letting people get to know you as yourself first.

That makes a lot of sense, so thank you. To be honest, the latter (i.e. people pegging me as a 'non-drinker') has already happened to me to some extent. Unfortunately, it's assumed that I consider myself 'too good' for the company of people who like to drink. That's simply untrue, but that's the way it is.

Mark200 wrote: »

If you have a **** night, so what? It's just one night. If you have a good night then you could go to the other nights out during Freshers' Week.

And if you think you'd be uncomfortable with people knowing you don't drink you can always just lie and say there's vodka in your coke or something. Not a big deal.

Fair point, if I dislike it I can just avoid the other nights. However, it's not really that I'm uncomfortable with being a non-drinker. I'd never lie about it or anything. For the most part, I'm not too bothered with what people think; it's more a matter of me wanting to get out a bit and make friends, without things that have impeded that process in the past getting in the way again

Thanks for your reply, and thanks to all others who took the time to reply.

For the record, anyone doing science-type subjects who is doing the preliminary chemistry course tomorrow: I'll see you there. And anyone who is interested in writing, reading, movies, videogames, teh internetz...we'll probably get along grand if you get to know me :pac:

ohthebaby

I didn't particularly drink throughout those nights out last year and I had fun. As somebody already said, maybe just plan on heading the Monday to see what the craic is. If you enjoy it, maybe head again the Tuesday or whatever. Don't feel bad for not going or feel as if you're missing out big time. I chatted to loads of people those nights last year, most of them were locked. I'd remember faces from those nights but to be honest, no real lasting friendships were made. In a loud nightclub where the majority of people are really drunk and you're not, it's hard to forge friendships. I'd say the events during the day would be better for getting chatting to new people and getting to know them well. Nights out are kind of crap in comparison for that sort of thing.

leinster2010

I think you should just go for it really. The majority of people going won't know many people there, and all the drinkers will be tipsy at least so they're more likely to approach you there to find out what course you're doing or whatever than when they're sober and more shy :P Then people will recognise you for being out on the Freshers' week and will be more likely to talk to you afterwards.
Alternatively you could just go tag along with whatever's organised for the underagers during the week.

JamesJB

[QUOTE=ohthebaby;67968217In a loud nightclub where the majority of people are really drunk and you're not, it's hard to forge friendships. I'd say the events during the day would be better for getting chatting to new people and getting to know them well. Nights out are kind of crap in comparison for that sort of thing.[/QUOTE]

Good point; perhaps the nights out aren't the most important part of the whole 'making friends' process.

leinster2010 wrote: »

I think you should just go for it really. The majority of people going won't know many people there, and all the drinkers will be tipsy at least so they're more likely to approach you there to find out what course you're doing or whatever than when they're sober and more shy Then people will recognise you for being out on the Freshers' week and will be more likely to talk to you afterwards.
Alternatively you could just go tag along with whatever's organised for the underagers during the week.

I might try it out on the Monday. I suppose going out with underaged people would also be an option (I am 18 myself).

Thanks for both replies.

lucernarian

JamesJB wrote: »

Good point; perhaps the nights out aren't the most important part of the whole 'making friends' process.

I'd leave out the "perhaps" in that sentence:)

leinster2010

They're not that bad for making friends though. I've met loads of people on nights out. Obviously you won't know much about the person on the night apart from how drunk they are :P but they'll become a familiar face and gives you something to start a conversation with the next day.

djcervi

OP, for each club/society you intend to join, find out if they have any meetings/events during freshers week, or even the week after. From that you can go to stuff during freshers week, which will help you to meet people. Also when you're registering, maybe try to chat to people near you in the queues. Honestly it's a great way to get to know people. I actually did a bit of this, and I would consider myself a bit quiet/shy, whatever you call it.

Have a great week!