Need to make friends

LegacyUser

Regular poster looking for any advice. 21 year old female moved over to Ireland to puruse my dream course. something I've always wanted. Thing is it's only been a few days but I haven't really got to know anyone. Feeling generally very depressed about not knowing anyone. It's early days have made a massive attempt to talk to everyone be friendly. Even texted a couple and asked if they wanted to hang out to no avail. Could anyone offer advice know it takes time but finding this seriously depressing. Going back to wales isn't really an option unitl christmas. Much appreciated.

Richy06

Where're you based? And have you gone into the first year of a course or the middle of one? Also, are you living alone or with other students?

Gunsfortoys

Go to the after hours forum on boards and check out the beers thread, good craic and you will meet a few people. http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056018464

Kevo

You should try to get to know people on your course.

Otherwise you could try and find a club. I didn't know anyone in my college so I joined some clubs, even though I didn't have much of an interest in them, and I got to know a few people.When you're starting off your classmates will also be trying to make friends.

boarddotie

Hi creatur, totally feel your pain here. Im moving off to a new country soon for a job on my own. Am absolutely dreading those first few days/weeks of missing my close friends and trying to make something more than 'acquaintances'.

Have you heard of couchsurfing.org? Its a set-up where people who are travelling around the world can stay on someones couch for free or you can offer to host someone on your couch and show them the local sites etc. Now im not saying you should do this since you have only just moved here but there are great forums and groups on the site for the particula cities. It tends to be hosts and/or visitors to the city all meet up for a drink or whatever, a really international gathering but obv locals (hosts) there too. Iv already joined the group in the city I am going to and I have seen a good few people posting to say they have just moved to the particular city and does anyone want to meet for a drink. You wont be the only one feeling this way I am sure!

Keep the head up whatever you do, you arent here too long yet!

Steyr

welsh10 wrote: »

Regular poster looking for any advice. 21 year old female moved over to Ireland to puruse my dream course. something I've always wanted. Thing is it's only been a few days but I haven't really got to know anyone. Feeling generally very depressed about not knowing anyone. It's early days have made a massive attempt to talk to everyone be friendly. Even texted a couple and asked if they wanted to hang out to no avail. Could anyone offer advice know it takes time but finding this seriously depressing. Going back to wales isn't really an option unitl christmas. Much appreciated.

Would help if you said where you were OP, Welcome to Ireland BTW.:)

LegacyUser

Steyr wrote: »

Would help if you said where you were OP, Welcome to Ireland BTW.:)

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'm based in Cork it's a big course have talked to everyone but seems like no one wants to make a effort. House sharing with a woman who is working not into socialising at all. Made a huge effort with my class thought that's what it's all about getting to know people and having fun. Don't know what I'm doing wrong. Any opinions?

Ickle Magoo

Why don't you post on the Cork board and see when the next beers are if you can't make it to Dublin...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=176

You could also try the local shop or library notice board for night-classes, clubs, cheese and wine night or whatever takes your fancy. Maybe have a look in the local campus bulletin for info on after-class activities?

When I moved here I knew practically no-one and advertised online for some pals and six years later we're still buddies - worth a shot!

All the best.

Zen65

welsh10 wrote: »

Thing is it's only been a few days but I haven't really got to know anyone.

But it's only been a few days! These things take a little more time; everyone else is probably finding their feet also.

I agree with other posters here.... join some clubs to meet people of like mind.


Good luck,

Z

carolmon

Hi OP
try www.meetup.com to see what's happening in your area, there's bound to be a few meetinga you're interested in or start one of your own, really it's better to meet people through a common interest, it's easier to chat etc.

Relax it's only been a few days, you're probably feeling a bit out of your comfort zone and homesick, you'll be fine.

Zeouterlimits

Clubs and Societies, that's the way to go.
This is from a person who moved to a University where he knew no one.

LegacyUser

Zeouterlimits wrote: »

Clubs and Societies, that's the way to go.
This is from a person who moved to a University where he knew no one.

Same as myself, I moved to a Uni where I knew all of zero people and I didnt get along with any of my house mates. I hated the 1st semester but after that I really loved it and I am now sad that I have finished the course.

budweiser90

Don't worry, its only been a few days! I hated college at the start! Will take a few weeks to settle, especially since you've come from Wales. Its very daunting being on your own in a new country! You've joined clubs which is a good start Just give it a little time

LegacyUser

check the cork forum, theres a book club that meet regularly and other meetups

Hi OP, it's not at all uncommon for people to feel like that upon moving to Ireland. I find that a lot of people think of the Irish as being super friendly and sociable, but the thing is that while most people are superficially friendly, it's really hard to actually break into their circle. I found that when I started college in Dublin, it was hard to know whether people were just being 'polite' or whether they were genuinely interested in a friendship. The biggest issue I had was that university culture is TOTALLY different in Ireland. It's common for a lot of people to go to the same college as their friends, which means they don't make a huge effort with new people, whereas in the UK, everyone is usually on their own. Also, a lot of students go home every weekend which means the place is dead at the weekend. I remember I used to feel so depressed sitting in a huge kitchen in halls on my own while everyone else was at home! My solution was to make friends with some international students, as they were around at the weekends as well and were more open to making new friends. Would that be an option for you? I also joined up to volunteer at weekends, where I met some really nice Irish students, and after Christmas of first year, I did start hanging out more with people from my course. Sometimes I think you need to give it a few months. Just keep asking if anyone wants to go for a coffee after a lecture, it nearly always pays off eventually!