Easily forgotten

LegacyUser

This is a bit trivial but it's getting me down.

I just started on the first step of my career. I'm working full time in my dream job and I am thrilled. The thing is, none of my friends are in the same situation. They're all either in college or working part time. Since I started work I've tried to keep in touch with everyone like normal but it appears I've been forgotten.

Those who are working are all working together. Those in college are all living together and many of the people who are working also live with the people in college. I live further away than everyone else. Now I understand that plans come up at short notice and they can't always think to invite me but they never do! Ever! While I was unemployed they texted or called me any time there was a hint of a plan. As soon as I got a job the texts just stopped. We actually had plans the other night and no one turned up. I called and texted in advance and when I got there but I was left sitting on my own in the pub before going home in tears. They texted me the next day to apologise. I've also made arrangements to see friends at their homes and they've forgotten or other plans have come up and they haven't turned up.

I try really hard to keep in touch with them. I text, call, email and Facebook and that often goes unanswered. They never try and make contact first. I don't think it's that they don't like me. I just think that now I'm working full time job that I'm no longer relevant to them. I haven't changed though, I'm still me. This happened when I went to college too and my friends from school didn't. I was away and they were all together and they just forgot about me.

If it was anyone else I'd tell them to stop trying to make contact with the friends as they obviously aren't good friends. That's easier said than done when you're walking away from 10 or 15 friendships. It also means I'll be left with no friends in the area I'm in. I don't know what to do. Should I keep making contact? Should I just walk away? If I walk away am I the terrible person?

tenchi-fan

I think you need to move on with your life, and get a few friends who you have more in common with or are (physically) closer to!

I left a job a few years ago and was pretty good friends with the ppl there. Once i left I went through what you went through. They were a group i wasn't part of any more. It was pretty upsetting for a while but now I rarely if ever see them and don't miss them either. Apart from work we had nothing in common.

trebor28

i had something similar to your situation op...
still do.
fell out of "the loop" and never got back in.
they would head out and wouldnt call which was fair enough cause they would always be in the same place and people just turned up if you were going out.

but if i didnt go out and called someone the next day and asked about the night id get not gossip or dirt or goings on.
then the following night id meet up and they'd be talking about some mad thing that happened the previous night and i wouldnt have a clue what they were on about, if i asked id get some vague response about what happened but never the whole story.

i pretty much dont bother now and they never call me, except one, fair play to him.
the whole thing just keeps rolling and you either hang on or fall off and forget about it.
i only go out the odd time now i talk to them but because im out of the forementioned loop i dont get half the stories.

i dont think there is much one can do in this situation.
if you find out let me know.

CDfm

Its what happens. however, what you find is that they are moving on too and life is changing for them too ,albeit, at a different pace.

You are assuming things are staying still but they are not.

You normally have one or two close friends and those are the ones you stick with.