I just broke down today! (18 year old guy)

cooltown

Hi! I posted here before about being bullied at school and being really down. I put on a big happy face for the last few months and I just broke down today. I was in class and I had a spitting head ache and the teacher asked me something I got it wrong and he made me look like a fool in front of everybody. Then all the class started laufghing at me. Then it reminded me of the bullying I experienced before and I just lost my temper. I just broke down. I am raging at the moment and I never lose my temper. I was really badly bullied befoe and it's all come back to me now!
Any advice?

Busi_Girl08

Take a deep breath, in...and out.

I'm guessing you are an LC student? You must be under an unbelieveable amount of stress at the moment, particularly if you have moronic teachers like that. :rolleyes:

Do you have anyone you can talk to, parents, close friend, relative, even a family GP?

Just sit down and talk. Let it all out. You've been keeping all of this bottled up for so long, it must have been driving you crazy.
Sit with someone who can let you scream, cry, and rant all you like about everything.

qwert2

Are you in college or secondary school? I'm guessing secondary school. From my experience college seems to lose the bullies. (which is something to look forward to). Those people who laugh at you are cowards, they hide within a group. And as for the teacher, well he/she needs to be taken down a peg or two by a parent or another teacher for speaking to you like that. Keep it together, remember to use your inner strength and always share and express whatever unhappiness you feel with those people you trust or even just by posting on here

Cullen82

My advice is not to worry about losing it, Everyone's entitled to do that, You're only human pal.

As for when you were bullied, Remember that when you leave school EVERYONE looks back on that sort of thing realising how pathetic and wrong it was.

Keep your head on the studies and go about your own business - Trust me when I say it won't matter in the long run - You'll be a better for it and a better person than anyone else that bothers you.

Head up mate

cooltown

I'm in 6th year and I''m just sick of it. I was really badly bullied in first year because I reported it in 1st year and it made it worse and the cool guy made my life hell. He told people loads of lies about me and I was isolated and never really settled into first year. I was kicked punched abused etc. When I reported this the guy got a group of his friends around he pissed on my books, bag and me and he made me lick it. I just did it because he forced me I had no other choice after this happened I would never tell a teacher what I am gong through again.
Then 2nd year was ok!
3rd year was a disaster I got low again because of a certain few people and I just locked my self away.
Then it was on into T.y. I was trying to get away from the bullies, best year of my life the pwople who was there actually wanted to be in school and I was able to be myself. In class I wasn't afraid to ask questions or just join in chats in class. It was a brillant year.
Then it was on into 5th year and some of the guys that were sound to me became pricks again because they had to be cool infrony of the other lads. I went back to my old self. During this year I got alot of crap over my sexuality. I am not out. I am meant to have a gay voice and I haven'y mentioned girls etc. So the pricks picked on me because of this. I had a bad year in 5th year a close friend killed himself. I kind of blame myself becuse of this and I only really had one friend now.
I am in 6th year now and I have loads of study to do. I actually did good in my Summer tests in 5th year! I came about 12th in the year and I still managed to fail biology. I am not a swot or anything. I haven't studied yet this year and I am just really down. I have about 6 hours of homework to do and I haven't done it yet. I am just not motivaed to do anything!

Cullen82

Don't worry about being motivated for one nights homework - Obviously try to get it finished.

12th in the year is fcking savage - Well done.

I absolutely hated secondary school, I was good at it - I cant say I was singled out but in some senses I guess I was bullied at times. Going forward Heres some food for thought though - Next year you'll be out of school and since I've left school I don't actually hang out with ONE person from school....There's so much more to concentrate once you finish so try to remember that and stay positive. Don't let these prcks get to you, They're obviously wasters and from what I've seen these dckheads don't get up to very much in life after school.

LilyCullen

cooltown wrote: »

I'm in 6th year and I''m just sick of it. I was really badly bullied in first year because I reported it in 1st year and it made it worse and the cool guy made my life hell. He told people loads of lies about me and I was isolated and never really settled into first year. I was kicked punched abused etc. When I reported this the guy got a group of his friends around he pissed on my books, bag and me and he made me lick it. I just did it because he forced me I had no other choice after this happened I would never tell a teacher what I am gong through again.
Then 2nd year was ok!
3rd year was a disaster I got low again because of a certain few people and I just locked my self away.
Then it was on into T.y. I was trying to get away from the bullies, best year of my life the pwople who was there actually wanted to be in school and I was able to be myself. In class I wasn't afraid to ask questions or just join in chats in class. It was a brillant year.
Then it was on into 5th year and some of the guys that were sound to me became pricks again because they had to be cool infrony of the other lads. I went back to my old self. During this year I got alot of crap over my sexuality. I am not out. I am meant to have a gay voice and I haven'y mentioned girls etc. So the pricks picked on me because of this. I had a bad year in 5th year a close friend killed himself. I kind of blame myself becuse of this and I only really had one friend now.
I am in 6th year now and I have loads of study to do. I actually did good in my Summer tests in 5th year! I came about 12th in the year and I still managed to fail biology. I am not a swot or anything. I haven't studied yet this year and I am just really down. I have about 6 hours of homework to do and I haven't done it yet. I am just not motivaed to do anything!

OP, that's so terrible. I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. I wish I could show give you a glimpse into life after secondary school where none of these dickheads are going to matter at all seriously.
I know you probably won't but I urge you to report them, you've just gone into 6th year..this year is going to be long and stressful and you need all your energy to concentrate on yourself not those assholes. Chances are if you report them the school will be mortified you endured this abuse for such a long period of time and really help you.

There are times during the year where you're gonna be down and moody and stressed because of them exams, and if this continues you're stress levels and self esteem are going to get of hand very fast.
Friends wise maybe you could join a club or take a night class in or just outside the area where you live, not everything has to centered around school, plus it would give you a taste of the real world where people like this are punished instead of mimicked. Keep your chin up, you sound like a sweet kid and things are gonna hopefully change for you. take this final year to concentrate on yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help. people will surprise you

LC

LegacyUser

Well I'm not surprised you broke down OP. You've had an awful time, and unfortunately, you seem to have locked away the hurt inside you. Anyone one of us would have broken down in your situation, so don't be giving yourself a hard time over it. Instead, take it as a sign that you need to deal with what happened, use it to get yourself back on track. Can you talk to your parents and tell them what happened? A friend you can trust? Cousins, uncles, aunts....please talk to anyone you feel you can trust. You can't bottle this up anymore.
As for those losers who bullied you, well that's all they are....losers. Bullies always, always, always without exception pick on someone who doesn't answer back. They have such low self esteem, the only way they can respect themselves is by trying to control someone else's life. Can you see how dumb that is? You have far more respect for yourself than those losers do because you've never done what those losers did. People might congregate around them now in school, but as you've pointed out yourself, it's because people want to be seen with the 'cool' guys. But as thers have pointed out, these supposed 'cool' guys are dispersed to the wind after secondary school. One of two things happen-they suddenly come to their senses (with a sh*tload of guilt thrown in for good measure), or they carry on bullying people, with the result that people avoid them.
Keep your chin up, OP. You're worth a thousand of these bullies. Well done on getting such great results. Please talk to someone about what happened, you've made a start by posting here

LegacyUser

Sorry to read what an awful time you've had, no wonder you broke down today. Its probably no consolation at all to hear that bullies are absolute loosers who will come to nothing, but you will see the proof of this from next year on. I can give you just one piece of important advise... Talk to someone, your mum, dad, teacher, year head, even a gp or priest if you have to, they will understand and you are not alone in this, my dd just went through her lc2 year being bullied - shes out the other side now and its over at last but it was v hard and I'm so proud of her for getting through it. What you went through in 1st year is absolutely appalling and you need to know that 'it wasnt your fault' - I think even if it takes counselling. Remember bullies are not happy confident people and usually pick on people they are jealous of. Please please talk to someone today and keep talking!

cooltown

People always say that bullies never amount to anything but these are smart guys. The wil do a brillant leaving cert and get into collage!
I just feel like I'm alone. I don''t want to tell a teacher becasue of what happened the first time. I am jst so tired all the time!

LegacyUser

cooltown wrote: »

People always say that bullies never amount to anything but these are smart guys. The wil do a brillant leaving cert and get into collage!
I just feel like I'm alone. I don''t want to tell a teacher becasue of what happened the first time. I am jst so tired all the time!

You've got to report these bastards. The school has a reponsibilty to deal with them. If they can't, then it's a matter for the guards. If you feel safer by not reporting them to the school that's fine, but you've nothing to fear by doing so. Bullying gives you that sense of vunerability, but in reality it's the bullies who should/will feel the consequences if you report it

imous

i am sorry to hear for the things that you have experienced in what are very important years of your life. But, it doesnt have to be the way your future is. Bullying can have exceptional effects on the victim. It can shape a future of poor self esteem, low levels of confidence and depression. But ONLY if you let it. Brush yourself down, ponder over what you want from your future and decide that you will not be a victim forever. The bullies have all these issues already. Pity them, for this is their lot in life. Their insecurites will pester them for many years to come. But you are smarter than them. And the key to happiness in life is to not care about what another person thinks. I mean really not caring about what another person thinks about you. Be yourself. Be free. And the hapiness that you experience when you learn to be true to yourself, will have no end. And the irony of this way of living is, that when you are being true to yourself, more and more people will accept you and like you. A positive energy will flow from you and people will want to be around you. If you are confused about who you are, other's become confused. It's all about energy and the way we communicate with others. We really are what we think we are. If you think you are worthwhile, then the miracle is that you become worthwhile. If you think you are a victim with no hope, then there is a good chance that you will become just that. The gift of life is your mind. And the gift of your mind is that you CONTROL it. You decide every day what kind of day you are going to have. You decide if you are going to be happy. Dont give away your power to others. And dont let them steal the light that is in you. Let it shine. F**k anyone who doesnt like you. Just turn away and move on. Becuase a whole life of good things is waiting for you. But only if you DECIDE to have them The choice is yours. Good Luck.

LegacyUser

cooltown wrote: »

People always say that bullies never amount to anything but these are smart guys. The wil do a brillant leaving cert and get into collage!
I just feel like I'm alone. I don''t want to tell a teacher becasue of what happened the first time. I am jst so tired all the time!

Don't talk to a teacher about the bullying then. But talk to someone!! You broke down because of what happened to you. You have to talk to someone. This is your top priority right now. Studies can wait. If you feel you're falling behind, have a chat with your teacher about your studies. If you've shown your teacher that you're a good worker up until now, I can't see how he/she could tell you to f*ck off if you approach them about your studies. Believe it or not, teachers are human too (and they're coming into work everyday with their own worries and insecurities, so you're not the only one)

I don't think anyone here said that those bullies aren't educationally smart. Most people know that bullies have low social intelligence, that doesn't have to impact on their academic performance however. Why are you worried how they'll get on in college? They're bullies, they should be of no consequence to you. All you have to worry about is your own path. Bullies will always be bullies (unless they suddenly have insight), and it doesn't matter whether they're academic or not, people with sense will avoid them

Bottom line.....your top priority right now is to find someone to talk to. It is your job to find someone to talk to. It's your decision to find someone to talk to. It's your responsibility to find someone to talk to.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, FIND SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!!!

thefeatheredcat

*HUG*

firstly, understand that bullying is about exerting power over another person in order to seek certain things such as approval from others and being dominant over a perceived 'weaker' person in order to gain more self-esteem and exert more control when the bully themselves is the weakling. Insecurities, inabilities and jealously, lack of self-esteem often are underlying reasons for a bully to be.

What happened to you in the past is completely **** tbh and I urge you to talk to someone now about it especially as you're reliving those experiences. That is the most important thing in this case, especially with regards to any unsettled feelings regarding your friend that committed suicide when you were in fifth year. Did you receive any counselling on this matter? Get all your thoughts and feelings out about all the years and what you're experiencing now and receive the help that you need. Don't bury it deep down, instead confront it head on, deal with it and move on in life.

I've been bullied in school and also by 'friends' in college and in life and have encountered bullying in the workplace too. It happens and that's a fact. The people I went to school with I left behind there and that was 10 years ago and I haven't looked back since. From news I get most of those bullies never amounted to anything. Those from college and from life I cut ties with because I had that option and I hear of them once in a blue moon and well, they didn't amount to much either.

But the worst thing about school is that you're stuck with these people with no choice but to see them everyday. Don't give them the power and satisfaction of giving you a hard time, instead let out what happened to you by getting help so that you can put the focus and concentration on your school work. Don't let them derail your success and make you miserable. Develop a thick skin.

You have achieved success thus far (and you should be proud!) and you will continue to do so. Deal with the issues at hand and get it out of the way so you have room to focus your full attention on your school work and your ambitions for college/working/travel or whatever you choose.

People do change over years and I guarantee in some time in the future they will have extreme guilt for the things that they did to you which will haunt them forever. They bare that on their conscience. Yours in clear. Rise above them and focus on success and on having the last laugh in being successful and making something of your life.

LegacyUser

Hey Op...
You have got to sort your head space and make a decision.
As some of the other posts have indicated, bullying is primarily about the bully....i.e. the bully is insecure and requires control. You are in no way responsible for the bullying. It doesn't matter a damn about your appearance/voice/sexuality..etc... decent, secure people do not require empowerment at the expense of others.
It is irrelevant that these people may be 'successful' now or later in life, because their insecurity will always manifest itself and while they may now be in an environment that allows bullying they are in for a rude awaking somewhere along the line.
You have two choices now; 1) you empower yourself and concentrate on your LC performance and social involvement.. 2) you allow other people to influence how you perceive yourself and as a consequence you do not achieve your full potential.
There is an amazing world out there to explore, so hold on and focus. Also start to look outside your current social circle.. take a chance and meet new people... like minded people.
Honestly, the bullies I went to school with and were bullied by are an irrelevancy to me now because I have a peace of mind and security that they will never possess, and I see it in them when I meet them from time to time.
Be brave.

LegacyUser

The sweetest revenge of all is the day you get your Leaving Cert results for whatever you want to do, & from the sounds of things, probably higher points than those bullies!
College is unbelievable, you meet loads of people& can avoid those you want to avoid& stick around those you do. Stay focused& get yourself there, & in a course you like. Remember, birds of a feather flock together- you'll most likely find a few good friends in such a course.
Best of luck. And remember, f the begrudgers!