college/career/life crisis...

therealgirl

Hi,

This is a long post so I apologise, but I'm just throwing it all out there in one go...

I live in Kildare. I am a parent of one school going child & a partner who works full-time (in Dublin).

I started my first year in an IT last September, I was so excited about this as things finally felt like they were falling into place after a rough five years previous because of a death in my family.
I suffered from panic attacks and depression after this incident, my life was thrown up in the air and didnt come down for a long time... and the life that I had planned for after the birth of my baby (who was a year old when this happened) was put on the shelf.

So when I got offered the place in college as a mature student last September I was excited to try get things on track again.

The first semester went ok, a few hiccups with my daughters childcare after her school hours, and more than a few missed days due to her being ill or commitments as a mother that I had to put before lectures.
The second semester...well to put it simply, I hated my course by the third week of semester 2.

During the summer exams for Year 1, my daughter got sick & was in hospital & I missed two exams. (I also failed two exams due to not studying as she was poorly at home in the run up to her ending up in hospital).
I handed in certs to cover my missed exams & was told i could sit them in August. And when my Summer results came out I applied to resit the two I had failed & the two I had missed.

So I spent the summer with my daughter recuperating & studying here and there...all the while losing interest in the subjects.
I was studying Physiology & Health Science...anatomy & physiology was something I was always interested in... and thought I'd always work in an area that had something to do with it! But I have come to hate my course & basically messed up the exam resits in August as I had no interest any more in it.

I cant really explain why I lost interest...I mean since I was twelve I went out and bought books in anatomy & physiology (these two subjects were the only ones I didnt have to study for in college as I knew it all, and more, already).

I'm lost at the moment as the August exam results come out on the 9th September & I know I'll have to repeat First Year if I want to stay on at college. So I know I wont be doing that as I'm not entitled to a grant to assist me repeating a year I've already done. (And the thoughts of it fill me with horror anyway).

Basically I've been tearing apart the internet looking to see what career I could do, something I can be interested in...but I've found nothing...Something like paramedic or A&E nursing is what I thought I'd do....but what are the chances of me being accepted on a CAO course again after I fecked up the oppertunity they gave me last year!?

I have lots of experience in accountancy & insurance offices before becoming a mom...after my daughter was born I was minding a womans two children from home along with my daughter to stay on top of bills...and thats the extent of my work experience. I have my Leaving Cert and no other formal qualifications.

I'm at a serious loss here...I dont know what to do or what direction to go in...

I went to FAS, they're not very helpful but I keep an eye on their website. I had been on a two year VTOS Fetac Level 5 course when I got offered the course in the IT half way through it, so I'm doubting they'll let me go back a step and return to something like that.
I've checked out private courses, distance learning, part-time courses etc.

I know I have wasted five years of my life trying to pick myself up, five years of my mid-twenties are gone forever...I'm desperate not to waste any more.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

angry_fox

not trying to be smart but what about studying child care?? Training to be a paramedic is very hard and would not leave much time for family life

niceoneted

Please don't think you have wasted the five years. Say if you had been studying or out working during that time you may be saying you missed out on your childs early years, her first word, step etc.

It may have been that college didn't match up to your expectations and that is why you lost interest.
Why not try to talk to the careers office at the college or get some books on the matter - don't know any off hand myself but others may be able to recommend some.

I'm just after finishing my umpteenth course and still don't know what I want to do - recession as put dampener on what I just did. Courses ranged from certs to a masters.

What about something like beauty therapy, as it includes a lot of anatomy & physiology. My mother studied it at 50 and worked in a salon til late 60's. She loved it.

Don't give up hope and don't think just because you dropped out of a course it reflects badly. It's what you do afterwards that counts as in do you totally give up or do something else. Employers may admire you more for quitting something you didn't like and switching to something you had an interest in.

What sort of support are you getting from your partner? If not a lot is this causing loss of interest?
Good luck and I hope your little one is in good health now.

therealgirl

angry_fox wrote: »

not trying to be smart but what about studying child care?? Training to be a paramedic is very hard and would not leave much time for family life

Thanks for the reply AngryFox, but I'm definately not into childcare...I'm not really a kid person...I know as a parent this might sound odd, but I love my child & love spending all day long with my child but caring for other peoples children is something I know I dont want to do.

I understand training for paramedics will be hard, but it is an area that really interests me so i know this type of study would be something I can do properly...its just the job after the course would be very hard with a family, I know what you mean there.

therealgirl

niceoneted wrote: »

Please don't think you have wasted the five years. Say if you had been studying or out working during that time you may be saying you missed out on your childs early years, her first word, step etc.

It may have been that college didn't match up to your expectations and that is why you lost interest.
Why not try to talk to the careers office at the college or get some books on the matter - don't know any off hand myself but others may be able to recommend some.

I'm just after finishing my umpteenth course and still don't know what I want to do - recession as put dampener on what I just did. Courses ranged from certs to a masters.

What about something like beauty therapy, as it includes a lot of anatomy & physiology. My mother studied it at 50 and worked in a salon til late 60's. She loved it.

Don't give up hope and don't think just because you dropped out of a course it reflects badly. It's what you do afterwards that counts as in do you totally give up or do something else. Employers may admire you more for quitting something you didn't like and switching to something you had an interest in.

What sort of support are you getting from your partner? If not a lot is this causing loss of interest?
Good luck and I hope your little one is in good health now.

Niceoneted, thankyou for your response.
I love the fact that I got to spend those years with my child, I always feel for parents who have no choice but to miss early years with their kids due to work...but parenting was the only thing I was good at during that time...
Now my daughter is six and at school until 3 every day, the amount of time I spend parenting is naturally decreasing.

Maybe it is during this alone time that I am more aware of what I havent done or achieved at the age of 29...how much I've messed up on oppertunities given to me & my future...
I cannot seem to focus on one thing that interests me in a career...I'm a lost person

I studied anatomy & physiology years ago with some beauty therapy students...from being their guinea pig for their practical classes I know it is something I am not interested in. (Thats the problem huh...I know what I 'dont' want to do)

I used to have big plans for my life, even getting pregnant didnt phase those plans, they were just put on hold...but since the death in my family I seem to shy away from big ideas and I'm definately not the girl I used to be, I see more simple things in life more than I used to...maybe because I am 'hyperaware' of the fact that life can be taken away so easily, I dont know...

My partner is the best, I really am so lucky to have this little family, he works so hard and enjoys spending his days off just chilling with us. He is very supportive of anything I want to do.

Little Acorn

Hi OP, you mentioned an interest in nursing, but feel that you may not be accepted on CAO course.Have you considered a pre nursing studies PLC course?
This is one I found on qualifax in Newbridge, it is 1 year long and covers a huge amount of subjects including anatomy, physiology, introduction to nursing, and also IT skills. They have listed a number of university's that accept people from this course, as a part of further progression.
Link: http://www.qualifax.ie/qf/QFPublic/?Mainsec=courses&Subsec=course_details&ID=51532&CSH_ID=9&AdvancedKeyword=&ResetCount=1


Are you interested in animals at all? Most courses relating to them, will cover a lot of biology/anatomy/physiology.
This is another course in Naas called Business Administration and Equine Nursing.
It is a 2 year PLC course that was set up by a veterinary hospital. It covers computers and book-keeping which you have experience in, and also equine anatomy & physiology, and equine nursing etc.
Link: http://www.qualifax.ie/qf/QFPublic/?Mainsec=courses&Subsec=course_details&ID=24660&CSH_ID=9&AdvancedKeyword=&ResetCount=1

I've also heard of veterinary assistant plc courses, but I don't know where they are in Kildare.
You mentioned that you have lots of experience in accounting and insurance offices. Would this be a career you might be interested in pursuing?

Regarding getting financial help if you wanted to go back to do another IT/university course, I'm not sure how the rules work when it comes to mature students.
I know that generally people who get a grant for say a level 7 degree, but drop out in first year, would not be entitled to a grant for the 1st year of a different level 7 course, or for repeating the year etc., but would get paid grant for the remaining years.[If you explain your circumstances that you were suffering from bouts of depression after a bereavement, and your child was sick etc., then the college may be able to waiver your fees for a repeat year.]
However I think that if you apply for a grant for a different level course than the one you left[eg. changing from a level 7 to a level 8 or vice versa], then you may still be entitled to another grant from 1st year till final year. I'm not 100% certain about this though, but they'd be able to tell you in your local VEC or County Council.


As far as I know all plc courses are free, and you can get get student grants for them too.
The mature /non traditional student forum, and the student finance forum on Boards are great, and you could get loads of suggestion and information on them too.

Don't think that you've wasted too many years. The average retirement age in Ireland is 65, so all going well if you find a course and qualify in something you really like, then you could possibly have over 30 years working in a job that you absolutely love.
Who says that everybody should have a career, mortgage and travelled the world by the age of 30?
Follow your own rules and life choices, and don't give a fig for what is "the norm". You're not alone, more and more people nowadays are refusing to just settle for careers they are not happy in, and people of all ages are starting their career paths from scratch again.
I wish you well, and hope you find something that will bring you happiness for the rest of your education and career life.:)

Darlughda

I reckon paramedics is the way to go for you.

You need to google. google and research. then talk to paramedics in that area.

Its easy to hide behind the screens of courses and 'paths to careers'.

You know what you want to do.

Why do you want to be a paramedic?

Who are the nearest paramedics to you that you can figure out how to contact and ask advice if this is right for you?

Op, know what, stuff it to hell that you made the wrong choice in the big second chance thing or whatever, happened to me, and I suspect loads more of us. Nightmare I know, but feck it, there is more than one way to skin a cat or whatever