How to End the Recession

mikerowsopht

We will need:

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

So we go up to space and hit every country with an EMP Pulse which will knock out all their electronics & computer systems

Then we hit them with a Magenetic pulse to wipe all hard drives on computers

Finally employ the best hackers in the world to destroy backups, data that isn't magnetic with some sort of virus so nothing can be restored

After this is completed all data will be gone, all money will be gone and everyone's accounts and debts will be reset back to 0 with no backup

We will then no longer be in recession.

And just to cover our tracks we can say Sean Fitzpatrick did this

Well............insert your witty comments below.

ejmaztec

I'm just going to ignore it, starting from now, and it'll go away.

seanaor

mikerowsopht wrote: »

We will need:

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship

I thought you were serious up until here.

darragh16

Have people not got used to the recession yet? Just ride it out lads... like a wave!

Sykk

I approve

bitemybanger

Id give Chuck Norris a buzz but hes in a meeting with NAMA.

Banned Account

As long as I get my savings back I'd have no issues with this. I have €1,000,000,000,000,000,000,654. 26c

Thanks.

-Trek-

Right, I can sort the space ship, but I don't know where to find hackers on such short notice.

Banned Account

Trekmad wrote: »

Right, I can sort the space ship, but I don't know where to find hackers on such short notice.

Check a couple of those white-owned farms in Zimbabwe;)

Terry

What about the stuff that's written on paper?

General Zod

been watching Fight Club?

and before anyone brings up rules 1 and 2, go away.

Banned Account

Terry wrote: »

What about the stuff that's written on paper?

No bothers - give it to that pastor in Flordia.

ejmaztec

Terry wrote: »

What about the stuff that's written on paper?

That's where the 10 Gallon jumbo-sized "Tippex Recession Buster" comes in, complete with fully adjustable spray nozzle for all surfaces.

Bjorn Bored.

Hey the OP isnt that far away from what could easily happen when the Sun decides to give out a proper solar blast, in all seriousness it could easily wipe out all our communication and electricity systems, it happened before in the 19th century and burned out the then new technology which was telegraphs, we had no satellites back then and no power lines,if a blast as large as that one happens again(and it will someday!!) it will totally destroy our modern way of life. There is a good thread on the boards somewhere about it.

mikerowsopht

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

Banned Account

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

Aldi on Thursday.

flyton5

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

I have an old Klingon warbird lying about the place....hasnt been in use since the 80's when myself and the crew used it to transport a humpback whale...

stovelid

I'm getting a few kilos of heroin and going into business outside schools in the depressed commuter towns encircling Dublin. It's a dead-cert.

Adam

well the emp wont be possible, the amount of pure iron core required to affect the entire planet would be impossible to acquire.

Terry

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

Are you a terrorist?

TheZohanS

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

Lidl: Thursdays Specials.

GavRedKing

mikerowsopht wrote: »

We will need:

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

So we go up to space and hit every country with an EMP Pulse which will knock out all their electronics & computer systems.

Using an EMP will mean you wont be able to land safely, you have knocked out all the Air Traffic and ground radar's it would take to get you back and landed safely OP.

Enjoy your certain flaming spaceship crash of death though.

derfderf

Won't the pulse erase all the porn in the world? If that happens i'll come find you........











with sexy results.

mikerowsopht

derfderf wrote: »

Won't the pulse erase all the porn in the world? If that happens i'll come find you........

with sexy results.

hadn't thought of that one, this is most worrying.

Wouldn't worry about the landing tho. emp pulse will be faced downwards from my ship and won't affect my electronics.

radar......pfft, i'm old skool. The ships last co-ordinates will be set to hit Fitzpatricks house and I will bail out in a parachute of some sort

I have already gotten the Magnetron from Clooney and Pitt so that's grand

Terry

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

Ok.
Here you go:
Hacker
Space ship
EMP
Super Magnetic Pulser (only $529)

Do it now.

phill106

Terry wrote: »

Hacker

Oh dear god, my eyes!
That font!
The hot tub pic!
*Tears out eyes,sobbing in blessed relief*

Kasabian

stovelid wrote: »

I'm getting a few kilos of heroin and going into business outside schools in the depressed commuter towns encircling Dublin. It's a dead-cert.

It's been done . You will only be saturating the market and will lead to competitors making hostile takeovers.

Mint Sauce

all you need is macguver, some sticky back plastic, and tin foil.

Pauleta

Sell the naming rights to all the major streets and motorways for 10 years.

Sell the naming rights to Dublin Airport.

Legalise Cannabis

Transform Bray into a mini Las Vegas

Cut all spending on the Arts

Give work permits any non EU footballers to play for LOI clubs and turn Ireland into one big scouting ground for the rest of Europe. The economy will make money through transfer fee's to the League of Ireland clubs.

Cut any extra social welfare on people with more than 3 children

Abolish Childrens allowance

Legalise Abortion

Make filming porn tax free and turn Ireland into the porn capital of Europe

Try to entice computer game manufacturing companies into country with very low taxes

mikemac

There is a derelict whaling station on Achill Island

Let Ireland corner the whaling market in the Atlantic.
Lots of money to made and screw the protesters!

-Trek-

phill106 wrote: »

Oh dear god, my eyes!
That font!
The hot tub pic!
*Tears out eyes,sobbing in blessed relief*

plus those two models again with enough fake tan on that you could mistake for umpa lumpas....
...
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!! it burns

Royal Irish

mikerowsopht wrote: »

C,mon now, this is serious. I need :

1) best hackers in the world
2) some sort of space ship
3) Electro Magnetic Pulse from Space
4) Followed by another Super Magenetic Pulse just to be sure

If anyone knows where I can find these items please let me know

If your serious about this, PM Jim Corr and he will tell you where to get all this stuff. He posts on boards under the username Shoveltooth.

Banned Account

Royal Irish wrote: »

If your serious about this, PM Jim Corr and he will tell you where to get all this stuff. He posts on boards under the username Shoveltooth.

And Run to da hills.

OP the only real way to end the recession is to ask the Mod's to share their endless supply of coke and hookers with the hoi polloi so we can live in drug and sex addled nirvana.

klose

Bag of cans x1 + patience.

RIIIIIIIIIIIDE IT OUT!

PeterIanStaker

One cent tax on every text message sent on all networks, that way we could send Brian Cowen and Mary Harney jokes to each other while fixing the economy.

super_furry

You're talking about.....haking the Gibson!

It's cant' be done! It's madness to even consider it and I can't help you hack again! Not this time!

strokemyclover

Nuke the Aviva Stadium in about 4 minutes

Son Of A Vidic

What recession?

Archeron

There is no recession and only total bliss and harmony....where I am posting from.


Seriously OP, find those items and DO IT! I'm living proof that it works, what with posting back in time and all to share with you my knowledge of what joy awaits you.

Ulysses Gaze

Reading the OP's post, got an image of this guy in my head!

http://ui27.gamespot.com/1242/1185942618212_2.gif

Sometimes there is a fine line between genius and insanity!

Killer Pigeon

Instead of bailing out Anglo-Irish, we should get Chuck Norris to fix the economy, I hear he has a staring fee of €25 billion.

Bjorn Bored.

van damme is considerably cheaper than that anglo sized price,and he is not busy;)