heart broken

rebelcry

Hi Girls,

I know this is the Ladies lounge but i feel your feed back may be more beneficial.....I recently got my heart broken and i feel like crap it was so unexpected for me...

i just wanted some advice feed back on how to move on any help most grateful...........relationship 2.5yrs talking of marriage etc

Cheers

Wibbs

Better bet here. You should get more answers that may help.

neveah

Heartbreak is the worst feeling. I've been through it so I know exactly how you feel. It will take a little while to get over it fully but how long that takes depends on you. The best advice you are going to get here is do not contact your ex or try to be friends with him. It will not work and you will only prolong the pain for yourself. Easier said than done I know from experience but try and be strong and stay away from him.

I thought I would never get over the pain but I have. I still feel twings every now and then but I've cut all contact with my ex and this has helped me enormously. I don't know whats going on in his life anymore, the less I know the better, ignorance is bliss as they say!

Go out with your friends, go on a holiday/weekend break, have a laugh, try new things, keep yourself busy. For example I went to Electric Picnic at the weekend, had never been to a festival or camping before, totally new experience for me. It was wicked, had a great weekend and met loads of cool people. I thought I would never fancy someone the way I fancied my ex but I met a guy up there and I thought he was unreal. It was only a brief encounter but it reassured me that there are other guys out there for me and I shouldn't have wasted so much time dwelling on my ex.

Anyway right now your pain is raw and you can't see the woods for the trees but give yourself time and you will slowly but surely start to feel better. Just do things for you. Don't contact him, let him know what he's missing Once you can do that you will be on the road to recovery.

DamoKen

Guys perspective but points from the previous poster would still apply. Like yourself OP whole thing fell apart overnight a few months before we were due to get married.

At the time I thought I'd never get over it and even now a couple of years down the road I sometimes wonder what if and get the odd twinge. Nothing like it was the first year though.

So advice on best ways to deal with it? Well for a start DO NOT do what I did. OH was the one who originally made the call to split and then proceeded to wreck my head for over a year with constant contact, everything from "I miss you", "I still love you" to hinting at trying again and then changing her mind.

It may sound harsh but you've broken up so you have to look after yourself now. Do not be there as the shoulder to cry on, no matter what your instincts tell you. That was my biggest mistake, despite advice from all and sundry to the contrary I still felt like I had to be there for her, in the end to help her get over me without regard for me getting over her.

You've got to cut all contact, delete her number, remove from facebook, do not reply to texts etc etc.

You are no longer together so what she's doing with her life now is not and should not be any concern of yours. Just concentrate on you.

There is no magic bullet unfortunately to make what you're feeling go away. Only time will really do that.

However, cutting all contact is a big step in the right direction. Other things I found helpful and a distraction were re-joining a gym for a start. Used to force myself to go at first but as I noticed improvements in my fitness I also noticed improvements in my moods. As you start to look better it follows you start to feel better, confidence grows and your general well being.

Another thing as mentioned by neveah is try out new experiences. I took up sailing, snowboarding, started travelling again and just increased my social circle in general. At first it was all done as a distraction but in the end I was doing it as I loved it

Hope this helps, and apologies for the length.

Just remember OP, even if feels like what you're going through will never end, it will. In the meantime keep yourself busy, as well as helping you get through the day to day, it is a great incentive to improve and grow in many different ways.

Best of luck

rebelcry

Many Thanks

to all of you guys for sharing your experiences and thoughts.....

I always find it amazing in situations like this when normal people go through an experience like this how, i suppose crushing to your well being the whole experince can be

We are all human ant the end of the day.....

And it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before

Cheers guys