Starting college

LegacyUser

I will be starting college next week and i am so nervous now. I will be a mature student but not that old, in my late 20s.

I have always been shy when it comes to meeting new people and always found it easier meeting people through friends. But i am on my own and have no one with me now. No one to help me out.

I have read that others will be the same so basically i just start chatting to anyone and everyone? That's all great but i have never been someone to start conversations as i dont know what to talk about. What do i ask or talk about?

Any help or advice anyone can give me will be great?

ordinary_girl

I'll be starting college next week too, except I'm not a mature student, but I understand where you're coming from about the nerves. What I've been doing is focusing on how excited I am about doing the course, all the differenct modules and the skills I'll learn.

If it's any consolation, I'll be completely on my own and will know no one aswell, and I'm sure this is the case for a lot of other people who'll be in your class. I think if you don't initiate conversation then someone else will probably initiate conversation with you instead. I'm basically focusing on the course, though once I walk into the first class I'll be a bundle of nerves Think about it though - a month from now we'll probably think that we were worrying about nothing!

Daisy Steiner

If you don't feel brave enough to instigate conversations, at least smile and look friendly.

This way you will boost your confidence and be attractive to others who may start conversations with you.

Don't worry, everyone feels like a fish out of water on the first day, I certainly did and I'm a year or two older than you. (I'm hoping to start second year tom)

Also it's not all about the first day, you will be adjusting along with everyone else for a while so chin up and enjoy it!

LegacyUser

I know it's easier said and done, I am quite shy myself but when I started college I just went in to lectures sat down and said 'Sorry is there anyone sitting here? ...great thanks, have you any idea what we'll be learning in this module? Where are you from? have you far to commute? I was so nervous but i'm feeling ok now etc etc. and if you are getting along with the person and have a free class next ask them would they like to go grab a coffee before the next class. Best of luck with it, enjoy the next few years because they really do go so fast. there will probably be a mature student society in the college which i recommend joining!

angelxx

I'm not a mature student but I'm also starting college this week. I promise you everyone is feeling the same. I'm incredibly nervous as are all my friends who are starting college.
Remember most people don't know anyone there and you're all starting together. Make an effort to be friendly. Join clubs and societies that interest you. This will help you to meet people who share similar interests. It will take time to settle in so give yourself time.

Larianne

I'm a mature student (I'm 27) and I'm going into 2nd year of college.

I'm much more outgoing now than I was when I was younger but I do get nervous in big groups of people etc. But before I started the course last year I made a promise to myself to get stuck into college life. I was very nervous but I threw myself into it. If there is a mature student orientation day/week etc. go to them and meet up with others. Everyone is going to be in the exact same boat as you. Everyone will be nervous, it is a huge step for everyone going back to college as a mature student so you have that in common for a start.

Definitely be friendly and smile. I can remember on one of these mature student days there was one girl sitting on her on and her face looked like death. She may have been very nervous etc. but if you don't look friendly and open to talk to others, people will stay away from you.

As regards what to say, everybody likes talking about themselves so ask questions like where are you from, what did you do before, what course are you doing, are you going to join any clubs/societies, what do you think college is going to be like, are you going to partake in any of the freshers events. There's a good few questions you can start off with!!

I joined the Mature Student Society last year. As friendly as they were I didn't feel like I fitted in there as I'm a young maturie. So you could join that if there is one in your college but I'd join societies or sports clubs that would interest you.

Check out the Mature & Non-Traditional Students forum http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=832and also there is probably a forum for the college you will be attending http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=28. If you sign up (if you haven't already) you can interact with other students on the forum, get advice and just put your mind at ease that everyone will be in the same boat as yourself.

Best of luck and lots of deep breaths!!

Superwhy

I went back to college as a mature student (I was 26) and I'll be going into 3rd year this year. I remember the starting in first year, I was so nervous! I didnt know where to go, I didnt know where to park, it was awful.
There was over 100 people doing my course and I didnt know anybody but in the first few weeks a few of the lecturers did 'getting to know each other' games so that relaxed me, and everyone, a bit. And you just end up talking to the people sitting next to, then walking to the next class with them and getting coffee at break time with them.

And I found it fairly easy to talk to people as everyone was in the same boat - just starting off. I have made some really really good friends on the course, who are all younger than me, but I wouldnt even notice it anymore.

Also, as I have a little girl, I found it hard to join in on nights out or join the different clubs but I dont think its made too much of a difference. There are other mature students on my course and most of them joined the mature students network, who also offer mentoring to mature students, but I didnt feel I needed to join it.

Just remember why you are going back to college and enjoy it - while it lasts!

girvtheswerve

Try not to worry. College is a great place for meeting new people. There will be lots of people in the same situation.

Joining some sort of society or group is a good way to get to know people.

You will get lots of opportunities to talk to people in first few days. Ask them the basics even? Where they are from, what course they're doing etc.

On my first week I took advantage of (I know it sounds bad but...) situations where people are stuck with ya. First week of college involves queues, meetings and then lectures (depending on your course). These are times when you'll have a person next to you for a period of time. Turn around, be all "god it's packed in here, isn't it?" or whatever, move onto asking their name, a question or two about their chosen subjects or interests (not in an interrogatory way) and leave it at that. Then if you see them again make sure to say hello and they'll remember you. Try to get into conversations, but sometimes just getting a recognition there is really good and after a while you'll get to know the person. In a weird way, it's really nice meeting new people without having to meet them through someone else. I found that some people thought I was being weird by trying to talk to them, but those people were probably just really used to being in their own established cliques and also probably ended up not knowing anyone in their own course.

Also, as said before, looking happy/confident does a lot of the work for you.

Hank_Jones

I started college last year at the age of 25.
Was fairly worried about being a mature student as I thought it would basically be me and then maybe a couple of other mature students with a massive bunch of 17 and 18 year olds.
That is certainly not what happened, there was a large number of mature students on my course (something like 10 out of 30 were mature) and there didn't seem to be much issue with me being a mature student.
The ages of the mature students ranged from 23,24,25 to 30's, to 40's and 50's.
There will most likely be a mature student society that you can join anyway, so you will be able to get to know people closer to your own age who are in college also.
I get on well enough with the students of all ages and I never considered myself to be much of a talker.

Going back to college as a mature student is certainly something I don't regret.

Robby91

While it may/may not be the case with the college you are going to, the Induction Day(s)/Week can, and will, be a great help IMO. I'd be the same, in that I'm not that outgoing when meeting new people or much of a conversation-starter, but the college was really helpful (for the first ~3 days, I think) - they had organised a few group-based activities to give people an oppurtunity to work with 3 or 4 others, and get to know them (we had to fling eggs off a balcony with DIY parachutes )

While it does leave a bit to be desired in that you only get to know a small group of people, it is a nice push in the right direction and you never know, you may get to know other people throw the ones you started chatting with originally

Best of luck!

Snowie

Im a mature student and im 28 29 in october ..... wow.....
Op serosuly theres a high percentage of mature students this year in most colleges I wouldnt even let it get to you to much...

Oh and just relax