loneliness

tony 2 eyes

does anyone get or feel lonely at times.
wel i do and have felt this way for the past few months.
been in and out of reationships with ages. been single now with a while too. i live alone since the start of the year. dont see my friends as much as before, some moved abraod and some do there own thing.i am also a shy enough person.
its not a nice feeling and i hope i come out of it soon.
how did you cope with this, what did you do to help come out of it.

AnnyHallsal

Loneliness seems to be the great common secret. I've seen people who seem from the exterior to be the happiest people in the world break down to reveal they feel utterly alone. Firstly, keep in mind that it is common and there's nothing shameful about it. If you do feel lonely send a stray text or email about anything at all. Try to be comfortable in your own company and focus on filling your time with things that make you happy. Cultivate your existing relationships and be open to new ones. And connect with people who share your interests.

dan_d

OP, I'm unemployed right now and it's quite a lonely place to be.I'm on my own basically 12 hours of the day.I find myself relying more and more on my OH coming home every evening, just so I'll have someone to talk to.And then I find myself getting annoyed with him if he makes plans to go anywhere with his friends, because I don't want to be alone for even longer.I've been reading this forum for quite sometime now and I am amazed and find it slightly worrying, the number of people who come on, saying they are lonely...both people who have a completely normal appearing life, with friends, jobs etc and people who are quiet, whose friends have moved away etc...we've never been more connected, or more in touch as a race, yet we seem to have never been lonelier either.
Anyway, the only conclusion that I can come to is the tried and tested one of telling you that you have to go out and join some groups or societies.It's something I'm pushing myself to do right now because I'll go mad otherwise.

I know that's not a solution exactly, but please know that you are not the only one to feel like this, but at the same time, it's up to you to do something about it.,

Mr. Loverman

Everyone gets lonely sometimes. The only solution is to force yourself to be around people.

Take up a sport, join an art class, get involved in a human rights organisation (added bonus: lots of women), go back to college at night...

One thing is certain: loneliness doesn't go away by itself. You have to make it go away.

bestiaries

Oh crap I miss living by myself so much. I'm almost a year back living with other people and while the occasional "how did your day go?" chat is nice I much preferred doing my own thing, and undisturbed sleep. Make the most of living alone OP Loud music and whiskey at 4 am. re arranging furniture as and when you like, no one to answer to, no one to annoy you, can sit on the toilet with the door open etc...

you said it yourself, you don't see your friends as much. Time to make some new ones! And honestly, sometimes it can be more refreshing to make friends outside your own sphere of interests/knowledge. they can bring a new perspective to your life, you can learn things, or find yourself sharing a bit of your own knowledge. I think sometimes, and it is a bit mean yes-if someone i don't know well is all over me trying to be nice and agreeing with me that i want to run screaming in the opposite direction. i mean some common ground is ok, but its much more fun conversing with people who hold opposing viewpoints.Not agressively, there is a balance to be kept. I think I am trying to say be yourself with people.


If you can also get something to look after and cuddle, like a cat or walk, like a dog i think it would help the most.
If you feel bad in the middle of the day perhaps go sit in a cafe with a notepad/laptop/sketchpad.
go walking if there's a park or a place of natural beauty near you while we still have bright evenings.
join a book group, and your local library while you're at it. always well informed of local events, the public library is, while i lived in the countryside it was often the only way i heard of events, a lot of cool plays, art exhibits, talks etc...that otherwise i would have been ignorant of
go to concerts/stand up etc always plenty of people to talk to there if youn are by yourself
and sign yourself up for some classes, i know that dance classes are a brilliant way to meet people and also a way to celebrate/take joy in your own body. when you are happy in yourself {btw exercise helps this a lot. perhaps join a gym?} this also helps to attract other people to you

if you're at the gym 4 times a week, with a couple of classes in between, a book to read for your group, and a gig/play/exhibit you want to see on at the weekends, trust me you will be so busy won't even notice that you're lonely.

whatsamsn

Loneliness is a terrible thing alright.
As AnnyHallsal said above. You'd be suprised how much people actually feel it. Alot of things we see in life are fronts. You dont know how people live.

The world can be cruel at times.
Friends come and go, relationships end. Which lets be honest your partner tends to be your best mate also. I dont know if people would agree with me but when you have a partner and a bad social life. It doesnt matter. You got someone. Thats not to say you're living in each others pockets. But you know what I mean.

The old saying "all you have is yourself" - really stands true at times.

I wonder how people dealt with loneliness before the internet was invented? Cant dispute the fact the internet has helped alot of lonely people out there in a vareity of ways.

LegacyUser

I feel alone alot of the time, i have to keep myself busy all the time and keep talking to people otherwise i will start to feel alone and get depressed. Im an outgoing person and my life appears to be great from the out side - own my own business, plenty of cash, nice clothes, flash car etc but they mean nothing to me. I go out six or seven nights a week and have huge circles of friends but no close friends. People cannot belive it when i tell them i feel alone. Most of them say im making things out to be much worse than they are. i could be in a room full of people and feel completely alone and sometimes i feel numb the pain is so bad.

I find myself forming relationships just for the company and to have somebody to care about and to keep ocupied, they usually dont last long because the person feels smothered. my last relationship ended just two weeks ago. it lasted six months which is much longer than they usually do. i was not attracted to this girl at all, even though she is an amazing looking girl, friends said she was an easy 9 out of 10 but she was wasted on me.

What helps me is to keep myself ocupied and keep talking to people, but it only goes so far

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I was very lonely growing up and in my 20's till i found out how to help it! Basically you have to fill yourself up, im not trying to be smart and god knows i know what loneliness is i have been on my own with no family from the age of 17, but i worked on my issues and healed and found fulfillment, it comes from accepting yourself and working through your emotions till you are comfortable to sit with yourself.

Then you may be alone but never lonely. There were days when i would only see the bus driver or passenger for company there were days when i was so depressed i couldn't get out of bed, what i realized was i was talking to myself very negatively all the time and then i started accepting myself more and then people and good friends and boyfriend showed up..... always when you dont need it the most it shows up! and thats because you have to put it 'out there' that you are fulfilled for it to come to you.

Try do the affirmation....... I am a magnet for fun, joy of every kind is drawn to me, i radiate excitement and attract it where ever i go there are unlimited fun choices, opportunities are every where! I usually use that affirmation for attracting money but i changed the words a bit, now i know you all think im the biggest weirdo, i suppose i have learned to entertain myself over the years!! LOL