Roommate masturbates when I'm asleep

LegacyUser

Hello All

I'm in my mid twenties and in my group of friends I always end up sharing with one particular chap most times we are away. This is fine normally but Pete (not real name) always masturbates when I'm asleep and I often end up waking up during it. Now I have no issue with it in principle but don't want him doing doing it when I'm there. Pretending not to notice is no longer an option (grosses me out). How do I approach him about not doing it when I'm around and waiting until he's in the shower or when I'm not in the room?

I don't want to embarrass him (or me) by openly saying it to him face to face but it definitly needs to stop. The last time I woke up during it (@ 6am) he realised I was awake and stopped (thank God!). I then couldn't go back asleep then for fear of him starting up again.

Would appreciate any suggestions !!

OP

Ickle Magoo

The guy doesn't mind cracking one off with you in the room and it's waking you up/affecting your sleep - the time for being coy and saving blushes is well and truly over. :eek:

I'd tell him that you are well aware of what he's doing and it must stop in no uncertain terms and make it clear if you catch him at it again with you sleeping in the room, you'll be telling the group why you aren't sharing a room with him again.

Best of luck!

Cheap Thrills!

Refuse to share a room with him any more when ye go away!

If he asks why, tell him straight, that is terrible behaviour!!!

Miss Fluff

Your mate is TOTALLY taking the p1ss. I agree with Ickle, the time for coyness and restraint has long past so I'd just tell him that choking the chicken when you're ten feet away doesn't really do it for you and to cop himself on!:eek:

LegacyUser

Cheers for the replies guys! Agree it's unacceptable, I don't want to cause trouble or embarassment - the priority is that he stops. I suspect he just never realised how obvious it is.

Maybe sending him the link to this thread will give the message without hurting feelings!

Ickle Magoo

I don't understand why you are so loathe to cause embarrassment or thinking about the guys feelings - do you think he's thinking about yours or worried about causing you embarrassment? Seriously, he's showing you no respect and puting you in a really awkward position completely unnecessarily, he's a grown man not a 12 yr old getting frisky with yourself while sharing a room with a pal is just not on! Get angry at what he's doing and what it's forcing you to do and tell him what you think of him - might cause him to think about what he's doing and I doubt once he's done that he's going to be anything other than justifiably embarrassed about his own conduct and completely apologetic.

Up de Barrs

Farting and snoring are also fairly unacceptable when sharing a room with mates but there isnt always anything much that can be done about either. Say it to him in a joking sort of way, "I was sure I could have heard you w***ing last night, wtf", then move on to something else. He'll get the message and it wont happen again.

Ickle Magoo

Eh, I'm not following. Are you suggesting there is no difference between involuntary bodily functions and choosing to masturbate while sharing a room with someone?

Up de Barrs

Sorry the point I was making was that there are various behaviours that can be irrating when sharing a room, though obviosly the one the OP describes is is the worst. (btw one mate thought it was hilarious to do loud "comedy farts" when sharing a room, which can be controlled I would think)

Ickle Magoo

I get you, I thought you meant while sleeping - yeah, loud farting and giggling would be an irritant but I think being woken up to someone panting and fapping in the bed next to yours is taking bad manners to a whole new stratosphere.

Overheal

That's pretty fcuking sick. I'd just scare the life out of him next time he wakes you up with that nasty. Pretending like he isn't being caught is not helping the situation. If you are catching him he needs to see he's been caught and I doubt he'll do it again.

tinkerbell

OP123456 wrote: »

Cheers for the replies guys! Agree it's unacceptable, I don't want to cause trouble or embarassment - the priority is that he stops. I suspect he just never realised how obvious it is.

Maybe sending him the link to this thread will give the message without hurting feelings!

Oh come on!!! In fairness, your "friend" has no respect for you and no consideration of your feelings if he is jerking off in the same room as you while you are sleeping, in fact he couldn't give a crap about what you might think of it!

Of COURSE he realises how obvious it is!!! You just DON'T do that!!!! Is this guy a moron or something? Because otherwise he's just ripping the piss really.

Time to speak up and tell him you will no longer be sharing a room with him. In fact, I wouldn't even give him a second chance - that's just disgusting, gross behaviour and totally disrespectful. No more sharing with that guy.

Mr. Loverman

It's quite possible he's getting a kick out of **** in the same room as you. (You didn't mention if he's gay or bi).

Your situation is a very awkward one and I have genuine sympathy for you.

I think the way I would deal with it is say it to him in a relaxed sort of jokey way: hey, I woke up in the middle of the night - were you ****?! Nooo nooo noo more ****!! Haha...

Another option is to say you don't want to share a room with him anymore because his snoring is keeping you awake.

Hank_Jones

You have to say something to him.
It's just horrible, don't see how he could do that anyway, seems really weird.

Next time you catch him at it, just say out loud ''not again, thought you would have choked that thing to death at this stage...''

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies - you're all correct, my mistake was not going bananas the first time I woke up to "that" !

I wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting and shouldn't just ignore it. The group is heading away shortly (without Pete) so it won't be an issue next time. Not sure if I'll end up sharing a room with him again but, if I am, and there's any nasty business, I'll be sure to tackle him head on.

OP

Mr. Loverman

OP123456 wrote: »

I'll be sure to tackle him head on.

He's probably hoping that will happen. :pac:

Best of luck.

tbh

make a joke out of it so that he knows you know, but he's not totally mortified. The next time you hear him, say something like "Would you for jaysus sake get a move on so I can get some sleep!" he'll know you know and hopefully won't do it again, but you don't want to scar the chap for life and make him worry that you're going to ruin his life for it (by telling mates etc)

ongarboy

why don't you tell him that the next time he's at it, you would like to take part - that will soon stop him doing it in front of you permanently!! ....then again like the above poster said, maybe that is the intention!!

[-0-]

Man that's gross.

seamus

I would take a fairly direct approach. If you end up being drawn to share with him again, say it to him when you're alone - "If you start playing with yourself in the bed again, you're sleeping outside. Control yourself for one night." You can laugh, he can laugh, but make it clear that you're not joking and you're well aware that he's doing it. He'll be mortified.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

katie99

It is disgusting, absolutely disgusting.
So too is farting in bed.
Snoring is involuntary.

I would tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate that behaviour in future. And if you makes a joke of it with you or denies it, then tell all your mates about it.

It is very bad mannered and rude of him.

katie99

I once shared with a girl in college and she farted all night.
She didn't realise it half the time. But it was sickening.

Salander

You'd better say something before you wake up and its not his own he is having a go at.

It could be you!!! some lottery eh.......

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

tenchi-fan

Am I the only one who thinks it's not that big of a deal? Snoring is probably worse.

i'm not sure if you should tell him to stop or just look for a new room mate. If you tell him to stop you have a difficult decision.. do you say it mid-act or tell him in the cold light of day?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,


You have a few things you can do, try staying in another bedroom.

Or after a disturbing night ask him how did he sleep, if he says soundly you should say aww i was awake half the night im a very light sleeper, im knackered. Start off that way and then if you have to bring it up and just say to him, aww pete i can here you rustling around at night and it wakes me up any chance you could be a bit quieter cause once i wane up it takes me ages to get back asleep,

besides the fact that you are getting no sleep i get the impression you feel a bit violated by it which is totally understandable, growing up confrontation gets easier, just realize your a man and you can express yourself with confidence, gud'luck xoxo

LegacyUser

Cheers folks - plenty of good advice there. Next time (if) it happens I'll let a shout at him to control himself when other people are around. It'll probably make things awkward for a while the following morning but doubt it would be mentioned or happen again.

@tenchi-fan - I'd much rather hear someone snoring in the bed next to me than beating one out.......