Had unprotected sex now cant stop worrying

LegacyUser

Guys,

Im sure this story has been told a million times. Went to coppers thursday night met a girl went home with her. Both of us fairly well on the sauce. We end up having sex, she tells me shes on the pill and we dont use protection. I have never not used protection before except years ago with my steady girlfriend. Most of my mates tend to not use it most times.

Spent the rest of the day with this girl, we were getting on really well. Shes a Masters student from Quebec and i studied her major while i was in college. We spent the entire day just talking and talking.

2 days later and with the inevitable depression of alcohol etc and my overly the world is going to end mind, i have convinced myself that theres a possibility i could have could have gotten HIV, am i absolutely retarded for thinking this???

Mr. Loverman

It's very very very unlikely you have caught something fatal (I would happily bet money you haven't), but you could have caught a bacterial infection.

The only thing you can do is get tested and find out for sure.

But what we do know for certain is worrying about it is pointless. It won't change anything.

darad

I would imagine the chances are very very slim, if you are really very worried then all you can do is go for a test. If you are a worrier then dont do that to yourself next time and use protection

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I am in a slightly similar situation, whereas the condom I used burst on penetration, and was changed immediately on a one night stand encounter with a Spanish lady. I am freaked out. I talked to a doctor friend of mine who said that there is always a risk, but to not worry because the risk is low, and to get checked out soon.

The transmission rate from female to male is quite low indeed. I was very surprised when I heard it, and HIV is a very fragile virus.

Advice is to : Stop worrying! This will be the most detrimental thing to you in the near future!
Get yourself checked out, at 6/8 weeks and then 12 weeks. You have to go at 12 weeks. Don't have sex with anyone till then.
Practice safe sex in the future!

To be concise, yes there is a risk, and get yourself checked out. But take some solace from knowing it will be quite a low risk. The above is not intended as medical advice.

King of Kings

you just got to live with it, prob no reason to rush for a sti test (unless you have symptoms) as you'll only have to go back again as some sti's take a while to identified.

always worrying wrote: »

Spent the rest of the day with this girl, we were getting on really well. Shes a Masters student from Quebec and i studied her major while i was in college. We spent the entire day just talking and talking.

I[m not so sure she appreciates being identified on the net - come on how many master students from Quebec are in dublin :rolleyes:

Colonel_McCoy

For peace of mind get yourself checked out in a clinic

greengiant09

yes, you are completely retarded for thinking this. the odds of getting HIV from a person with has it is around 1 in 50 according to a medical journal i read. you have more chance of winning the lotto so relax!!!

LegacyUser

How on earth is he retarded for thinking this? Overreacting maybe, but certainly not retarded. A similar thing happened to me a few weeks ago, ended up sleeping with a girl I met in a nightclub without any protection, which is completely out of character for me. Anyway, a few days later, noticed that something was not quite right "down there" and panicked. I went to my GP, got checked out and thankfully got the all-clear a few weeks later. All sorts of things go through your mind when you're waiting for the results, and it's not an experience I'd care to go through again. Thankfully I'll be more careful in future, and I'm sure the OP will be too. It's not "retarded" by any means, and it certainly pays to be over-cautious in these instances. OP, get checked out straight away and I'm sure all will be ok.

JonathanAnon

Yeah I was the same when I was a young lad... Had a one night stand with a girl who was sharing a house with my brother.. She was a loose enough young wan, didnt use protection, was relying on her being on the pill..... was worried about it for the next couple of months.. expecting the phone call...

As was said above, there isnt a huge chance of HIV/AIDS, but you have a small probability of STD or pregnancy. If she's a Masters student, then she's unlikely to be the sort that wants any random punter to get her pregnant so that she can get a council house.. so I think she would be pretty safe regarding her method of contraception.

Gannicus

1. You went to coppers. what do you expect.

2. Relax. Get tested. your local GP can do it, its a simple test.

3. I know this may sound morbid. but its something my mate has been adamant I do since he adopted the philosophy. Expect the best but prepare for the worst. Now given the details of the person you were physical with it is highly unlikely you contracted HIV/AIDS. If anything you may have gotten a bacterial infection easily treated.

4. If it does transpire that you caught something you need to tell her. In a lot of cases symptoms may not manifest for a good while if at all. she may not even know she has something.

So just go to your GP get tested and I have a feeling you'll be okay

Lady von Purple

greengiant09 wrote: »

yes, you are completely retarded for thinking this. the odds of getting HIV from a person with has it is around 1 in 50 according to a medical journal i read. you have more chance of winning the lotto so relax!!!

Just have to say- I don't think the OP can be called a retard because he's careful about sexual encounters. As others have pointed out, he could possibly have picked up a minor infection. And if he's in any way worried, of course he should get himself checked out. On another note... So 1 in 50 people win the lottery? Wow, I've totally misjudged the system

finbarrk

greengiant09 wrote: »

yes, you are completely retarded for thinking this. the odds of getting HIV from a person with has it is around 1 in 50 according to a medical journal i read. you have more chance of winning the lotto so relax!!!

I wonder who is retarded? The op is entitled to his concerns.

HavingCrack

Its highly unlikely you've been exposed to HIV or Hepatitis OP but it is possible there may be some other minor infection. Go and get it checked out, nothign else will be your mind at ease. And next time, wear a condom.

kjl

I'm in a simular position myself, now you have me all worried, I recon you will be fine, if you notice symtoms in the next few months go and get them checked out, but I think its very unlikely you have HIV and pretty much everything else is treatable.

kiwi123

No harm in getting checked out just for ease of mind -

consider it a learning experience and make sure you have condoms just in case

batista

Mate there is no way you have got HIV, as one punter said there its 1 in 50 million and if your worried about them odds then you should probably never leave your bedroom for fear of everything else that can kill or maim you in this world. As the lads said best to get checked up anyway but if shes a college student, not taking intravenous drugs then there is pretty much no risk of hiv. I'm not sure if it was a one nighter or whether you meet up with the girl again but if you do then try find out a bit more of her sexual past for peace of mind. Remember condoms are for contraception so worry about not having used one in that regard but for hiv like i said not worth losing a seconds sleep over

Uriel.

Lads firstly it's not 1 in 50 chance or one in 50million.

Unprotected vaginal intercourse(one time) with a female partner of unknown (presumed positive) HIV status has between a 1 in 1,000 and a 1 in 2,000 chance of infection for the male partner.

It is highly unlikely that the girl had HIV and it's even less likely that you have acquired the infection.

However, there are plenty if other infections (some of which may not show symptoms) that u mat have acquired. Pop into an sti clinic later this week and get a full check up. They will also perform a baseline HIV test to check ur current status.

You will need to wait until 12/13 weeks following exposure for a fully confirmed status check though. If u can't wait that long a 6 week test is near 100% accurate due to modern testing capabilities. Though always remember the 12/13 week is the official guideline period.

Good luck, you have nothing to worry about as far as HIV is concerned, you have more to worry about in terms of pregnancy to be honest (and yes I know she was on the pill)

In future though please think before u poke, picking up infections is easy. And for the love of god make sure u get tested after this

Keane1967

I'm in a similar situation to the original poster. I had unprotected sex on Saturday and can't stop worrying about it either.

It's not that I'm really afraid of having a STD, it's a lot more that I'm afraid she's pregnant, although I will admit that the STD is a fear. I have sort of been going out with her for a while, but I'm not that into her and I don't see a long-term future there, although I think/fear that she might think differently. I'm not even close to being ready to have child either and I am currently basically unemployed.

I'm aware that I'm an idiot. However I was up until now a virgin and quite an old one (24) and I was just so desperate to do it, that in the moment I took the risk and now really really really wish I hadn't. Naturally there was drink involved as well.

She said she is on the pill, but due to various other things she said I'm afraid that she was lying or not using it right. What does sort of give me hope is that she doesn't seem to be that bothered about it, so maybe my paranoid on the pill is nothing. On the other hand despite the fact that she says otherwise I'm terrified that she wants to get pregnant and that's why she's so relaxed. She was the one who pushed the unprotected sex as well.

Right now I'd actually be delighted if I had just had an infection or something like that, but I have no pain down there or anything so I doubt I do, which is of course good.

Finally it's good to know that other people have been in the same situation as me and I'm not the stupidest person in the world. But I am still really messed up right and quite simply terrified and can't stop worrying about it. I really hope this is just something I learn from.

consultech

<snip>

OP:

As you're well aware; unprotected sex is generally a very bad idea, unless you are in a long term, trusting relationship where you understand/prevent the pregancy risks. Doing so with a girl from coppers who is actually willing to have unprotected sex with a complete random is probably not a great sign. Most likely you are fine, as someone has contemplated: she obviously has a head on her shoulders ordinarily. The likelihood of you having HIV is extremely - and probably laughably -minute, but worst case scenario you may have picked something bacterial up. Get tested in a few days (I am unsure of various incubation periods). Google St. James' hospital GUIDE clinic if you cannot afford ordinary screening.

Hormones are a terrible thing at times, and can make us lose inhibitions that are fairly important to our (sexual) health. You're probably fine, but learn from this going forward, and obviously don't engage in any sexual contact until you get the all-clear.

batista

batista wrote: »

Mate there is no way you have got HIV, as one punter said there its 1 in 50 million and if your worried about them odds then you should probably never leave your bedroom for fear of everything else that can kill or maim you in this world. As the lads said best to get checked up anyway but if shes a college student, not taking intravenous drugs then there is pretty much no risk of hiv. I'm not sure if it was a one nighter or whether you meet up with the girl again but if you do then try find out a bit more of her sexual past for peace of mind. Remember condoms are for contraception so worry about not having used one in that regard but for hiv like i said not worth losing a seconds sleep over

I really wish people would at least bother to get their facts right before giving advice. There is NOT no way he got HIV. There is around a 1 in 300 chance of getting HIV from an infected partner. So it would be highly unlikely, but not impossible. There is a fairly good chance that he could have picked up a less serious infection. 1 in 10 people have chlamydia and if anyone is likely to have chlamydia or gonorrhea or anything else, it's someone who is willing to have unprotected sex with complete strangers. I would advise OP to go to a sexual health clinic in 3 weeks (not immediately, it takes a few weeks to test positive for most infections) and then again in six months for blood tests.

And please, please don't assume, as most people have, that being a Master's student means someone is STI free and 'safe'. The fact the girl had unprotected sex with a stranger shows that she actually isn't very careful or sensible at all. How many other times has she done this? It's a good idea to just assume everyone is a potential STI risk and use condoms until they can prove otherwise.

Mr. Loverman

There has been a chlamydia epidemic in Europe since the late 70's, so that really is the one to worry about. I vaguely remember reading you have a 1 in 3 chance of getting it off someone if they are infected.

Males generally get chlamydia symptoms after 7 - 10 days. Pain when you pee and a bit of green slime coming out... but it can be symptomless.

As stated already, the only way you can know for sure is to get tested. Worrying won't solve anything.

LegacyUser

You are probably fine OP, but safe sex is always the way to go, for a variety of reasons. Yup, condoms suck, and personally I have problems with using them completely comfortably for any stretch of time but they're absolutely a necessary evil (if you can call em that).

Uriel.

Kailyn Microscopic Popgun wrote: »

I really wish people would at least bother to get their facts right before giving advice. There is NOT no way he got HIV. There is around a 1 in 300 chance of getting HIV from an infected partner. So it would be highly unlikely, but not impossible. There is a fairly good chance that he could have picked up a less serious infection. 1 in 10 people have chlamydia and if anyone is likely to have chlamydia or gonorrhea or anything else, it's someone who is willing to have unprotected sex with complete strangers. I would advise OP to go to a sexual health clinic in 3 weeks (not immediately, it takes a few weeks to test positive for most infections) and then again in six months for blood tests.

And please, please don't assume, as most people have, that being a Master's student means someone is STI free and 'safe'. The fact the girl had unprotected sex with a stranger shows that she actually isn't very careful or sensible at all. How many other times has she done this? It's a good idea to just assume everyone is a potential STI risk and use condoms until they can prove otherwise.

Much less than 1 in 300 actually Izzy. it is approximately 1 in 500 chance for the female partner and between 1 and 1,000 and and 1 and 2,000 for the male partner.

I would advise OP to go to a sexual health clinic in 3 weeks (not immediately, it takes a few weeks to test positive for most infections) and then again in six months for blood tests.

7-10 Days is plenty of time to wait for bacterial infections. All will show up well within that time frame. All but HIV, Syphilis and Hep B/C will show up by that time

There is no need to wait 6 months for any tests. This is a long outdated window period and only covers very specific circumstances. 12/13 weeks will cover HIV, HEP B/C and syphilis unless there are other circumstances (out of the ordinary) recent chemotherapy, organ transplant, needle stick injury with potential of HEPC adn HIV co-infection (although this is theoretical, usually 12/13 weeks is enough for this also).

You're last paragraph is spot on. If you meet someone randomly on a night out and they are willing to have unprotected sex off the bat then they are an idiot and a much higher risk for STIs (that's whether they are male or female).

The OP needs to be tested end of story and I hope he does and doesn't spread any potential infection further in the future.

And for anyone reading this, for God sake remember that just because you don't have any noticable symptoms doesn't mean you are clean and safe. STIs are not always overtly noticable. Most bacterial infections will be but not all and not everyone is affected the same way.

Uriel.

Keane1967 wrote: »

I'm aware that I'm an idiot.

Yes to a degree you are. Having unprotected sex without knowing the full status of your partners is playing Russian Roulette with your health.
Millions of people make the mistake though, but please learn from it before it's too late.

Right now I'd actually be delighted if I had just had an infection or something like that, but I have no pain down there or anything so I doubt I do, which is of course good.

It may be somewhat positive that you have no symptoms but the reality is that many infections go symptomless. Some like Chlamydia may even show up with symptoms in one patient but not in another.

You NEED to be tested and you should do so at the appropriate times.

Keane1967

Uriel. wrote: »

Yes to a degree you are. Having unprotected sex without knowing the full status of your partners is playing Russian Roulette with your health.
Millions of people make the mistake though, but please learn from it before it's too late.

Trust me I have learnt from it. Hopefully it's not already too late though. The last few days have been hell and there could be worse to follow and I will never put myself through this again.

It may be somewhat positive that you have no symptoms but the reality is that many infections go symptomless. Some like Chlamydia may even show up with symptoms in one patient but not in another.

You NEED to be tested and you should do so at the appropriate times.

And I definitly will do. Thanks for that.

Uriel.

Keane1967 wrote: »

Trust me I have learnt from it. Hopefully it's not already too late though. The last few days have been hell and there could be worse to follow and I will never put myself through this again.



And I definitly will do. Thanks for that.

look you are highly unlikely to have picked up one of the serious infections (Hep b /HIV). HEP C is not really a worry as it is transmitted only through blood during intercourse (and there would need to be significant amounts).

Syphilis is serious too (or can be) but it is treatable and curable. HIV is not something I would particularly worry about from this incident. However that being said, it could be in your future if you make these mistakes again and again.

All other infections are easily curable with the exception of HSV.

Just remember to get tested at the appropriate times. 10 days for minor infections and 12/13 weeks for the major ones. If you have no symptoms and you plan to be sexually inactive for the next 12/13 weeks you could get them all done together, but even without symptoms I'd recommend getting tested ASAP for the likes of Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea etc...

best of luck with it

Novella

You know, it often takes people an event like this to realise how careless they have been with their sexual health. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and you're not an idiot at all. Get yourself tested for STI's to put your mind at ease, or to be treated if you have in fact picked something up and in future, just be a little more careful. Don't be too hard on yourself, and best of luck.

batista

Uriel. wrote: »

Much less than 1 in 300 actually Izzy. it is approximately 1 in 500 chance for the female partner and between 1 and 1,000 and and 1 and 2,000 for the male partner.



7-10 Days is plenty of time to wait for bacterial infections. All will show up well within that time frame. All but HIV, Syphilis and Hep B/C will show up by that time

There is no need to wait 6 months for any tests. This is a long outdated window period and only covers very specific circumstances. 12/13 weeks will cover HIV, HEP B/C and syphilis unless there are other circumstances (out of the ordinary) recent chemotherapy, organ transplant, needle stick injury with potential of HEPC adn HIV co-infection (although this is theoretical, usually 12/13 weeks is enough for this also).

You're last paragraph is spot on. If you meet someone randomly on a night out and they are willing to have unprotected sex off the bat then they are an idiot and a much higher risk for STIs (that's whether they are male or female).

The OP needs to be tested end of story and I hope he does and doesn't spread any potential infection further in the future.

And for anyone reading this, for God sake remember that just because you don't have any noticable symptoms doesn't mean you are clean and safe. STIs are not always overtly noticable. Most bacterial infections will be but not all and not everyone is affected the same way.

Just a question is it 1 in 1,000 of a chance for a guy if the girl has hiv or 1 in 1,000 in general???????????

Mr. Loverman

batista wrote: »

Just a question is it 1 in 1,000 of a chance for a guy if the girl has hiv or 1 in 1,000 in general???????????

If the girl has HIV.

But as stated numerous times already, there are plenty of other reasons to wear a condom!

Uriel.

batista wrote: »

Just a question is it 1 in 1,000 of a chance for a guy if the girl has hiv or 1 in 1,000 in general???????????

1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 for a positive male to pass on HIV to a negative female.

1 in 1,000 to 1 in 2,000 for positive female to pass HIV to negative male.

Both cases assume unprotected vaginal sex only

Significantly higher risk with unprotected anal. and significantly less for oral sex (for all intents and purposes almost zero risk).

Dont get too caught up on stats tho unless you are awaiting test results. ask your partner their status, wear protection, don't take risks and if enter a monogamous relationship both partners get tested. Doing all or most of these (protection most important) and you will never have to worry about HIV!