Jealous?

LegacyUser

Hi,

There is a guy at work who all "the guys" get on with very well and they all seem to want his attention and go for drinks together and all that. I too get on with them all but just not to the same level. And this guy is loud, which annoys me but others seem to love it.

I just feel uncomfortable in his company and I feel that I have to be loud as well. Instead I am quite a reserved person. Everyone is friendly to me, but no one would see me as a good friend who they might meet with for a drink or go to a game, etc. This guy is invited for drinks or to a game all the time and work people contact him to meet up at weekends, etc.

I'm not sure what I am getting at. Maybe I'm jealous or even bitter. I just feel sad at not being part of the craic and being involved. Maybe even a bit lonely.

Anyone understand me? Or experience anything similar?

Thanks!

Mr. Loverman

Don't try to be someone you're not. Be yourself.

It's a part of life that some people will be more popular than you, and others will be less popular. It's normal and not something you should stress over.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

jealoususer wrote: »

Hi,

There is a guy at work who all "the guys" get on with very well and they all seem to want his attention and go for drinks together and all that. I too get on with them all but just not to the same level. And this guy is loud, which annoys me but others seem to love it.

I just feel uncomfortable in his company and I feel that I have to be loud as well. Instead I am quite a reserved person. Everyone is friendly to me, but no one would see me as a good friend who they might meet with for a drink or go to a game, etc. This guy is invited for drinks or to a game all the time and work people contact him to meet up at weekends, etc.

I'm not sure what I am getting at. Maybe I'm jealous or even bitter. I just feel sad at not being part of the craic and being involved. Maybe even a bit lonely.

Anyone understand me? Or experience anything similar?

Thanks!

If he gets on your nerves there's a high chance he gets on others nerves as well but they smile and laugh through it, as I'm sure you do. That's just work for you, have to put up with a bit of bs.
But fellas like him are useful as well for a bit of comic relief, they make sure there's a bit of life in a place which may be why he gets invited to all these things.
Or maybe he's just cool but not your cup of tea.

Either way it doesn't really matter, you can only be yourself. And if you want to get involved you should mention it, people might just think you aren't interested.

JonathanAnon

jealoususer wrote: »

And this guy is loud, which annoys me but others seem to love it.

Are you sure that they love him that much. They may feel the exact same as you do.. He sounds like an attention seeker, there is a similar character in my group of friends. On the face of it you would think he's the most popular but if you talk to the guys individually, you would find a different opinion.

Zen65

jealoususer wrote: »

I'm not sure what I am getting at. Maybe I'm jealous or even bitter. I just feel sad at not being part of the craic and being involved. Maybe even a bit lonely.

Let me quote from the Desiderata poem from the early 1900's:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

It does appear that you dislike this person because he has what you wish you had. This is not a basis for dislike, only envy. Envy rots the soul, and is to be avoided at all costs. Nobody likes the company of someone who has allowed themselves be a victim to envy.

Be at peace,

Z