Help me STFU

LegacyUser

So here's the deal...

I am starting a new job in a couple of days. A job with real prospects, working with smart people in a casual atmosphere, an atmosphere designed to encourage innovation and entrepreneurship. It is a position I have worked towards for the last number of years.

However, my problem is... I am loud, I shoot from the hip, and I can, on occasion, make sweeping comments that make me look silly. I also have a noticeably stronger Dublin accent than that of my colleagues.

This job is means a lot to me and I don't want to mess it up. Given the casual working atmosphere, how do I keep my mouth shut? How can I still offer the value that merited my appointment and filter the **** that I, on occasion, spout?

All comments are welcomed, and thanks for taking the time to read my post.

Cheap Thrills!

an anon wrote: »

However, my problem is... I am loud, I shoot from the hip, and I can, on occasion, make sweeping comments that make me look silly.

Right, good question! Quite often people who describe themselves like the way you did there (I shoot from the hip/I call a spade a spade etc) are viewing themselves slightly through rose coloured spectacles.

What you may view as 'refreshing honesty' others may perceive as tiresome and offensive. The risk with being a 'shoot from the hip' type of person is that you are giving your opinion where at times it's unwarranted.

Everyone has an opinion but there is a time and place for giving it. I notice with this type of person that a lot of the time others eventually just tune them out and start to ignore them as they are perceived as attention seeking.

No-one tells them that to their faces of course. And often the person is the last one to know they are p!ssing others off.

Now, on the other hand as you said, it's not all bad because as you said your personality helped you get this job! So I'd guess you are a great person but haven't just quite yet got a handle on impulse control.

That is something you need to work on. Like anything it needs practice. Become aware of others around you. Notice their body language....are they receptive to what you are saying? Are you listening to them and staying on topic? Are you just waiting for someone to finish a sentance so you can get 'your turn'?
Do you interrupt people?

If so notice all these things. Monitor yourself doing them.
Decide to listen twice as much as you talk.
Let people finish their sentance and think about what they've said.
Think about your own point of view, does voicing it add anything to the discussion/work ? If not don't mention it. If you're not sure then let your thoughts form before you speak.

Be aware of the bigger picture. Remember you are part of a team and that is the context you are there in.

People soon grow tired of attention suckers as they are draining so edit yourself until people get to know you. Quite often you'll hear young and inexperienced people say 'Just be yourself, if people don't like you then don't change for them'

Disregard that, it's bad advice. We all need to modify ourselves to a certain extent.

an anon wrote: »

I also have a noticeably stronger Dublin accent than that of my colleagues.

That is totally irrelevant. Anyone who would judge you on accent is unprofessional. It's the content of your speech that matters not your accent.

In a professional setting as long as you don't swear, minimise the use of slang, use proper grammar and vocablury and speak clearly and concisely then you'll be fine.

Best of luck OP!!!

dan_d

Think before you speak.

It sounds simpler than it actually is. And when in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

Cliches aren't cliches for nothing you know...they exist because they're tried and tested!!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine!

whatsamsn

Dan_D said it best.
Think before you speak, and when it doubt keep your mouth shut.


Anything negitive we say in this world has a nasty way of getting back. Between friends, in jobs ... everything. But especially in jobs voicing an opinion can be enough to land you in hot water.

You say you can just speak your mind before thinking - well just keep remembering think before you speak and you should do fine.

Mr. Loverman

It is quite normal for new people to be very quiet in their job for a number of months. It's also quite normal for people to be quiet, full stop!

So if I were you I would just avoid getting into conversations with people until you have sussed out who is the conservative one, who is the funny one, etc., and then carefully pick your conversations.

I'm a bit like you btw.