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Boyfriend just told me he has a foot fetish

  • 01-09-2010 10:41pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My long term boyfriend - who I love and adore, has just recently told me that he has a foot fetish. He told me that he is completely enamoured by my feet as opposed to other more accepted parts of the female anatomy.

    He has always given me regular foot massages, which he's very good at - and at which I'm not complaining, but just find the whole thing a little odd.

    Its not a deal breaker, as I said I love him dearly but it is a oddity that I'll have to live with forever more if we do decide to settle down.

    Is this normal? Any other girls out there have/had this issue with their partners?

    Opinions please :)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Contessa Raven


    Hi OP,

    I don't have experience in this at all as I am a person who despises feet! :o However, despite that, I think his fetish is normal enough. There are thousands of people with this fetish in the world. It only becomes a problem if every sexual act is focussed on the feet (unless you like that) or it takes over other aspects of your/his life.
    It's no different to someone having a lingerie fetish or a spanking fetish. If you don't have a problem with it and are happy to indulge in it occasionally with your boyfriend then I can't see why anything should change in your situation. :)

    CR


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    Every guy has a fetish, for me its something worse than feet. Be glad this isn't a messy one and maybe embrace it a little for the poor chap. Its hard to tell a loved one their fetish so don't make him feel abnormal about it, as this particular one is quite common. Hey, look on the bright side, feet don't really change, so if that what he is attracted to now, he will always be attracted to that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    I agree with this guy ^ if it were a spanking fetish you'd be rather sore the rest of your life. If it were another variety of fetishes you could be handcuffed, wearing leather or getting very messy the rest of your life.

    Instead, you're going to have immaculately pedicured and massaged feet for the rest of your life.


    And further to that, while I wouldn't ask you to specify, I'm sure you have some sort of fetish of your own that perhaps you'd enjoy exploring with your partner also?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    You know I have a problem with questions like this. It is almost like our society has a set of rules that if you stray from even a little you are labelled a deviant or weird.
    So your boyfriend finds your feet attractive - fantastic.
    At least he has not turned around and said he prefers John's feet from down the road and your's just don't do it for him anymore.

    Maybe next time he comments on how attractive your feet are just say "Gosh thanks" and try not to get hung up on labels like fetish...

    Just be glad that he feels he can be honest and open with you without being judged...


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Gurly Gurl wrote: »
    Its not a deal breaker, as I said I love him dearly but it is a oddity that I'll have to live with forever more if we do decide to settle down.

    Hardly the end of the world now is it?
    It's a well known fact that Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish. Every single one of his films has either a scene discussing feet or showing them.
    I suggest you encourage his foot fetish and get yourself some sexy shoes. ;)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Beruthiel wrote:
    I suggest you encourage his foot fetish and get yourself some sexy shoes. ;)

    Especially if he is willing to pay....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 161 ✭✭StarryMoon0


    Some guys like legs, some boobs, some hair .. everyone has something that turns them on. Why does it have to be your "special girly bits"?
    I fancy my OH's back. I dunno why, its broad and smooth and nice to touch. Gets me going much more than seeing his willy swinging in the breeze :D

    Its completly normal, and its a good thing that he trusts you enough to tell you this.

    As other posters said, take advantage of it, let him take you shoe shopping!! Dang, if my guy was into my feet I'd have a serious collection of shoes and maybe wouldn't have him roll his eyes when I'm trying to be delicate and walk slowly when I am in heels!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    As kjl said most lads will have something that they are particularly into. Your bf's love of feet is nothing out of the ordinary and since you don't have a problem with it there is no issue.
    There are plenty of lads who would be into far "weirder" (for wont of a better description) things that he is. You're willing to accomodate him so lucky fella I say! Some of us wish we were so lucky!

    Also I agree with Tatlos. There is no set of rules to what turns people on. Tall girls, short girls, chubby girls, girls skinny girls, big boobs, foot massages, spanking etc.. etc... whatever turns you on turns you on simple as that. As long as the two people are compatible then its all good!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    If he told you he had a fetish for women who dressed up like Daffy Duck and threw custard pies at him while he sang the Teletubbies theme, that may be a bit odd, but feet? thats not exactly BDSM now is it? some girls have nice feet, keep them well groomed and clean and they're pretty to look at, not a jot wrong with that. Also there are a million girls who would kill for a boyfriend who gives them footrubs at his own request, remember that.

    Would you prefer if he thought your feet were horrid?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Speaking from a male prospective, if a girl told me she had a foot fetish... I dunno. Its not something I could see the aspect of feet turning me on. But its certainly not the most weirdest. Its not like dressing up in leather and getting tired up and dominated (THAT would be a bit too much for my liking)



    But I think the following needs to be said ... How much of a fetish? Like everything there is light and extreme.

    A quick google search of foot fetish can reveal videos of quite frankly "unusual" things (to use a nice word)
    - Men ejaculating over womens feet - Sniffing shoes that have been worn all day. - Pouring hot wax over the feet...

    As for men ejaculating on a womens feet? ... lets be honest. Most guys like to do so over other parts of a womens body. So.. knowing the feet is what they like. Ok I could see the logic. Sniffing smelly feet? ... I cant understand that one.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    On this matter, I love my wife's feet, having said that she has very nice ones, like well formed and not out of shape. I love it when she wear sandals/heels when we go out as its a turn on to see them. I also notice other guys sometimes checking out other fems feet including my wifes. She notices it too and quite likes it when this happens.
    This fetish is very common and nothing to be put off by. Like anything, once it doesnt take over, its fine.
    For me, this fetish started quite young, I believe it started when i got my first erection and I happened to be looking a fems feet at the time


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 788 ✭✭✭Sound Bite


    OP, I dont claim to understand it but I can't see much wrong with this at long as it remains a fetish and not an obsession.

    The only reason I'd ever get concerned about something like this was it the fetish took over from all other sexual activity and that your partner was not able to get aroused without it.

    That said, if it makes you uncomfortable, he's not the man for you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 109 ✭✭darad


    Oooh I love feet and Im a woman, my son does too, as does my brother, seems to run in the family :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Beruthiel wrote: »
    I suggest you encourage his foot fetish and get yourself some sexy shoes. ;)
    Hadn't even thought of the shoes :pac: Think of the shoes OP, you could have a new pair every week of the year if you play your cards right.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭princeofparma


    I have a fetish for women if you must know.
    There's nothing abnormal about fetishes.
    Some guys like tall and skinny, some guys like fat, some guys like petite, some guys like young, some guys like older women.
    Some guys wear their girlfriend's underwear to work or like to be tied up or whipped during sex.
    Most guys like to come on a woman's face.
    Fetishes are healthy and normal.
    Don't worry about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    An ex of mine had a foot fetish. I never really got it. It didnt do anything for me sexually but he would happily spend ages giving me foot rubs so I didnt complain. He liked licking them too, which once I got past being ticklish was kind of pleasant. Considering some of the other things men have asked me to participate in, for the sake of getting their jollies, I had absolutely no problem with it. Plus, at the end of the day, who cares if its your boobs, your ass or your feet, at the end of the day he likes you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    My husband came to me with this about 5 years ago, to be honest it was a bit of a bolt from the blue, but I did some research on the topic and found that it is very very common!!

    Please don't be afraid of it, quite often the word "fetish" makes people quiver, but it's perfectly normal. Just as other posters have pointed out most men have a breast fetish, and to be honest sucking on my nipples doesn't do much for me.

    Since he told me of his affinity for feet, we have both gotten "our jollies" from his fetish - he gives me pedicures and massages all the time and even though I have slightly ticklish feet I have to say I have come to absolutley adore having my toes sucked, it is actually very pleasurable and it is oh sooooo erotic!!!!!!!!

    Embrace it and enjoy it! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    i don't get it either. but some people like it!
    Why don't you tell him if you have any fetishes?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Hilariously, though I'd be fine with pretty much every other fetish mentioned in the thread, I *couldn't* be with someone who had a foot fetish. I hate my feet! I don't even like touching them myself never mind having someone else touch them.

    That said, if it's something you can get on board with -- allow him to be more open in his admiration, etc -- then there's really no big deal here. He told you what he likes, you're ok with it. Beyond that it doesn't matter if it's the weirdest fetish ever invented, as long as you're both happy!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,523 ✭✭✭ApeXaviour


    It's not odd.

    In the words of Dan Savage.

    "If there's something so unbelievably easy you can do to that excites your partner to such a degree... then why the hell not!?"
    It didnt do anything for me sexually
    This is a little strange, surely (like most people) seeing your partner get off on something will get you off?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I do also have a foot fetish but only a few of my friends know but I am entirely ashamed of it. I've rarely told anyone, half of my girlfriends never even knew. It isn't like I really choose to have it, I've just had an attraction to feet since as young as I could remember. Definitely before I knew anything about sexual desires and things like that. So, it isn't a choice I've made or anything, just something I've always had. I don't like smelly or gross feet, I just like girls' nice cute clean feet. I thought you should all know that it isn't just a thing creepy guys have, I'm a pretty normal person. I have no control over it, and I was just made this way. And having a girl who is accepting and open to it, because they know I enjoy it, is great. Irish girls in general don't like too much the foot 'thing'... but apart from Ireland there are many countries that is totally acceptable. I do think there's nothing wrong with that, since most of these guys simply like to give a foot massage or little kisses... no big deal! Go ahead and enjoy it! You'll even get addicted with that LOL


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    <snip>


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 109 ✭✭darad


    Michael22 wrote: »
    I do also have a foot fetish but only a few of my friends know but I am entirely ashamed of it. I've rarely told anyone, half of my girlfriends never even knew. It isn't like I really choose to have it, I've just had an attraction to feet since as young as I could remember. Definitely before I knew anything about sexual desires and things like that. So, it isn't a choice I've made or anything, just something I've always had. I don't like smelly or gross feet, I just like girls' nice cute clean feet. I thought you should all know that it isn't just a thing creepy guys have, I'm a pretty normal person. I have no control over it, and I was just made this way. And having a girl who is accepting and open to it, because they know I enjoy it, is great. Irish girls in general don't like too much the foot 'thing'... but apart from Ireland there are many countries that is totally acceptable. I do think there's nothing wrong with that, since most of these guys simply like to give a foot massage or little kisses... no big deal! Go ahead and enjoy it! You'll even get addicted with that LOL

    You contradicted yourself there by saying go ahead and enjoy it but yet you say you are totally ashamed of it?? I have a foot thing too, I love it and I dont mind telling anyone and I just laugh it off, its no big deal


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    the key question is how do you feel about it? if you are someone who doesnt mind your feet being touched, and as long as it doesnt dominate your steamy sessions to the exclusion of all else, would you be ok with that? if so, bring him shoe shopping and model 'em in private just for him...;)

    then it also depends on what is getting done to your feet, maybe talk to him to find out the extent of his fetish, and pre-agree on what you are ok with, and what is off the menu.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't think any bad can come of this particular fetish, if anything it seems like win win for the woman. Most people have some kind of kink and as the world evolves we become more accepting and open minded about these things. A foot fetish is a very mild sexual interest to live with, there are plenty of crazy fetishes out there, you got lucky! Unlimited foot massages, pedicures and oodles of new shoes - I'm getting envious!

    Personally I live in flips flops all summer long, and I have to say many times I have noticed my pedicured toes getting attention from guys, so I think their could be alot of closet foot fanciers out there!

    Enjoy it and take it at your pace!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 828 ✭✭✭Wonkagirl


    jesus, lucky you! I would LOVE a fella with a foot fetish, there's nothing i love more than getting my feet rubbed!

    it would be worse if he had a fetish for anal sex that he was pushing on you.. count yourself lucky i say, get a pair of louboutins and enjoy!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    I love feet. I have always loved feet. I love bare feet running around a floor. I even love the innocence of my kids feet...I adore my wifes feet and i adore giving her foot massages.

    What does she think of it..... She loves foot massages...Its a win win imo...

    To me a strange fettish is someone who gets dressed up in a mask and lets there other half beat the living hell out of them.... Then again each to there own..

    Some man like chest some women like bums. Some men like feet some women like eyes...

    Just life imo...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    ApeXaviour wrote: »
    This is a little strange, surely (like most people) seeing your partner get off on something will get you off?

    Not neccessarily. He would literally be completely absorbed with my feet, I just happened to be attatched. It wasnt like something we did together, rather something he was doing with some feet. Having said that, I was getting a foot rub so if he happened to be getting off on that, fair enough.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have a foot fetish

    I've had some light experiences with ex girl friends in the past. Most thought it was weird in the beginning, but some really got into it. They enjoyed foot rubs, toe sucking, foot licking and a little trampling. Obviously I enjoyed the experiences.

    I would love to find somebody who was really into it, or would like to experiment!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It ssems to be "very very common" indeed, some of the celebrities who have/had a foot fetish:

    Casanova (the worlds greatest lover?)
    Elvis Presley
    James Joyce (thats news)
    Andy Warhol
    Enrique Inglesias (yummy)
    Christrian Slater
    Jack Black
    Pharrell Williams
    Tommy Lee
    Quentin Tarrantion (well no surprise there!)

    Looks like feet are the new breasts! I'm off to paint my toenails :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 275 ✭✭herosa


    You lucky lucky thing. I love getting my feet rubbed especially when Im watching tv but my partner hates feet with a passion. Sometimes I will practically beg him to massage them but he complains like hell and will only agree if I put on socks and even then I get 2 mins max. I work on my feet all day and thats why I find it so relaxing.Marry him for Gods sake and if you really get fed up with him you could send him up to me. We could have a timeshare arrangement!


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    There really is nothing all that weird about it. Guys are attracted to women obviously. What attracts guys to women more often than not is their femininity. There are many things about women that are distinctly feminine. Be it legs, breasts, hips, long hair, there are a lot of things that can scream feminine and guys will be interested in.

    The more distinctly feminine a part of the body is, the more likely you are to find guys turned on by it.

    Feet are no different. Simply compare the feet of men and women. They are very different and sometimes the feet of women are very distinctly different and feminine to that of men.

    So it is no surprise that many men will find it a trigger for sexual arousal. I myself am one of them, but certainly not limited to that area!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    theres not a thing wrong with it imo! like alot of other posters have said if you're ok with it then go with it...if you don't enjoy it don't be afraid to tell him, that shouldn't be a big deal! personally i hate feet, my own included so if my boyfriend told me he had a foot fetish id tell him sorry but no can do and id hope he'd respect that! my boyfriend does have a 'fetish' of sorts - i was happy that he felt comfortable enough to share it with me so i didn't make a big deal about it being 'weird' or anything like that - instead i said id give it a go to see if i liked it - turns out it worked for me too ;) so i let him in on a little 'thing' of my own to which he reacted the same way as i did to his - communication is key - let him know how you feel about it but i don't think it's that weird really!


This discussion has been closed.
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