What makes guys want more?

stupidusername

I was sitting on a bus earlier, and there was a couple in front of me. Let's just say a typical 'limerick couple'. The girl was turned around talking to the guy, and she looked generally pissed off. She was doing most of the talking, and he seemed to be generally responding. Couldn't hear what she was talking about, but she'd a big scowl on her face.

All I could think was what's he with her for? she definitely wasn't a looker, in my opinion anyway, and they were young enough, probably didn't have children, and obviously being together wasn't much fun. So is he just putting up with her to get some sex or what?

I think I'm coming off like a cow, but I just couldn't understand, what makes a guy want to have a relationship with a girl? is there many men that would be with someone just for sex?

The Big Red Button

God. The poor girl might just have been having a bad day!

copacetic

chatterpillar wrote: »

God. The poor girl might just have been having a bad day!

prob not as bad as the Guy!

stupidusername

I don't mean it as a personal thing against the girl, I just wonder what is it about a person that makes someone want to be with them? I'm saying what makes someone want to be around someone like that?

ANXIOUS

The thing about other peoples relationships is that looking in from the outside we never really understand what's going on. I know I had a relationship where people said to me what are you doing with her, but it wasn't till I was out if the relationship I seen what everyone else did.

stupidusername

Ok but for anyone who knew a girlfriend/boyfriend as a friend first, what was it that made you want to be more?

Snowie

ahhh sure its easyer to go along with things then have to be single again. and all ya no it for the best to......

OldGoat

#every great love story has got to have it's great love fights# - Cuckoo Savante.

You can't judge the relationship based on the one snapshot you had of it. Perhaps the good days are so good that the bad days don't matter.
I'm sure we all know the loving couples who bicker all the time. The bickering is part of the relatioship and perhaps their relationship is stronger for it.

'Make up' sex is pretty awesome too.

princeofparma

Most relationships are 'real-hate-shun-ships.':)
Sleeping around is so much better.

Otis Driftwood

+1 to Goaty

Every couple fights now and again,its just part of a relationship.As for her not beign a "looker",Im very surprised to hear you say that TBH,beauty is afterall in the eye of the beholder.

Distorted

Some men deliberately pick plainish girls, because they think they will be more grateful, less likely to run off with someone else and more likely to run around after them? The guy in question might have been getting nagged, but he was getting attention. Maybe he thinks a more attractive girl (a) wouldn't have been with him in the first place or (b) at the first spot of dissatisfaction, she'd be off with another guy in a flash?

stupidusername

ok ok ok. I was wrong to comment on how she looked.she wouldn't be what I'd consider good looking, but then i'm sure a lot say that about me. you're right that was mean.

I know couples have fights, thinking back on it now they weren't fighting, she was just talking/giving out about something.

But all of that is irrelevant.

All I really wanted to discuss was what makes a guy think I want to be with that girl, and not just want sex from her?

I suppose my real question is if a guy has the option of just having sex with a girl, would he ever choose to want more?

Snowie

stupidusername wrote: »

I think I'm coming off like a cow, but I just couldn't understand, what makes a guy want to have a relationship with a girl? is there many men that would be with someone just for sex?

what makes us want a reletionship... I would say conversation intelligence. attractiveness or well pleaseing to my eye...

would i go out with a woman for sex alone..... No that's just a little cruel. In my opinion if your looking for a fvck buddy look for some one in the same position as you I know its easy to find some one any one to sleep with but i think....

princeofparma

Beautiful women or perfect 10's are overrated - a lot of really beautiful women I have encountered are high maintenance, are surrounded by sycophants, have come to expect men to kiss their behinds, have not bothered to cultivate their personalities and are very bad in bed.

It is exceptional to meet a woman who is beautiful inside and outside.

When women lose their looks as they get older, a man should keep that in mind.

Women who are 6 or 7 on the classic 1-10 attractiveness scale are grateful to have a man, are more adventurous, have more interests and hobbies - a man likes when a woman cooks him a dinner - and really make an effort in bed.
The 'average' women are the best - they usually have more flesh on their bodies, a few comfy extra pounds around the belly is nice, they usually have bigger breasts and larger bottoms and are good for a warm and loving cuddle.

It's nice to have a woman to talk with and argue with and who fusses over things and is your best friend.

That's what a real relationship is all about.

KyussBishop

stupidusername wrote: »

All I really wanted to discuss was what makes a guy think I want to be with that girl, and not just want sex from her?

I suppose my real question is if a guy has the option of just having sex with a girl, would he ever choose to want more?

If the guy gets on with a girl, and both really enjoy each others company/personalities, and the guy is attracted to the others personality and not just physically attracted, then the guy would want more.

As said above, basically just getting on with someone to the extent that you could be really good/best friends.

Wibbs

stupidusername wrote: »

I think I'm coming off like a cow, but I just couldn't understand, what makes a guy want to have a relationship with a girl? is there many men that would be with someone just for sex?

There can be an element of that for some men in some relationships. They put up with crap because they assume that women and sex are hard to get. The more confident the man and the more he realises that the world is made up of 50% women, the less crap he'll take for the sake of having a girlfriend and sex. He'll make better choices, because he knows he has a choice. Similar for women too. The less confident ones often end up in bad relationships, for similar reasons. More the dire fear of being single with ladies though.

Kimia

Well I'm a girl so hope it's ok to answer.. What makes a person want more.. well it must be because they feel a connection with that person, like they could not only fancy them and want to have sex with them but that also they really like them as a person and want to be around them because being around them makes them happy.

I remember being with my bf a few months and we were in the throes of the honeymoon period where I was infatuated with him lust-wise, but one day we were joking/talking, whatever it was, nothing major, but I looked at him and thought God I really like him, he's lovely. And it was nothing to do with sex, I just thought wow he just rocks. And that was that!

entropi

princeofparma wrote: »

Beautiful women or perfect 10's are overrated - a lot of really beautiful women I have encountered are high maintenance, are surrounded by sycophants, have come to expect men to kiss their behinds, have not bothered to cultivate their personalities and are very bad in bed.

One man's "Perfect 10's" may very well not be another man's...

Women who are 6 or 7 on the classic 1-10 attractiveness scale are grateful to have a man, are more adventurous, have more interests and hobbies - a man likes when a woman cooks him a dinner - and really make an effort in bed.

I wouldnt quite put it at grateful imho, happy yes but never grateful!

Remember: it's a seller's market, women dont need to be grateful at all...

stupidusername

I don't think anyone should feel grateful they've someone interested in them. that's just wrong.


What I now want to know is why is it that so many guys just want to have sex with me?

Otis Driftwood

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't think anyone should feel grateful they've someone interested in them. that's just wrong.
What I now want to know is why is it that so many guys just want to have sex with me?

I dont think anyone can answer that question tbf.If there is a recurring pattern then obviously you are going for the wrong type of men.

The Big Red Button

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't think anyone should feel grateful they've someone interested in them. that's just wrong.


What I now want to know is why is it that so many guys just want to have sex with me?

Well maybe a good place to start would be by thinking of what makes you want more than just sex with a particular guy?

stupidusername

chatterpillar wrote: »

Well maybe a good place to start would be by thinking of what makes you want more than just sex with a particular guy?

I only want to have sex with someone who cares about me. It probably stems from insecurity issues, but in general it just doesn't suit me to have sex with someone I don't plan on having more with. I don't think this is necessarily something I need to change.

KyussBishop

As said above, that may be pretty hard to answer; how long do you spend getting to know any of these guys?

If you meet people as friends only to start with, and get to know them over a very long time, maybe that gives a better chance of first finding a personality which matches you, and who you could get into a good relationship with.

It's hard to know though, how effective that would be; it can be tricky even just making good friends to start with.

stupidusername

Thanks for the replies guys but I've kinda dragged this off topic.

mood

OP you seem to assume she was just nagging or something for the sake of it. Maybe she was but maybe she got very bad news recently - lost her job or a serious illness in the family. She could have been in a bad mood for any reason!

johnr1

In my own experience, what I get from a relationship as opposed to a random shag (I appear to have grown out of interest in random shags anyway but thats another story altogether ) is the connection with the other person. In my last relationship, we talked till bright morning roughly half of the nights we ever spent together. This was what I missed most when it ended. Yes she was very pretty, great in bed, kind, intelligent etc but Ive met many women in my life with those attributes singular and plural.
The most wonderful feeling in all the world to me personally is the feeling of being understood, that the other person is on the same wavelength. When they come out with something I could have said myself or start a conversation I would have started if only I had thought of it, I feel challenged and this is what floats my boat personallly. Mind you, all the above mentioned attributes are important to me too which is probably why I rarely fall hard for someone - way too picky.:(
This is an old chestnut but I think when you find the right guy for you, he'l want more than sex on tap, but most fellas I think dont seriously look around for a keeper till they hit 30 if it hasnt happened before then by chance. It also depends on what each individual's idea of relationship material is and this unfortunately is subject to change.
As my wisest friend said to me recently, "dont try to force it, that doesent work"
On a completely AH level, at least you must be attractive anyway

djimi

Ive seen this so many times and I honestly dont know why some people stay in the relationships they are in, and that goes for men and women. I myself went out with an utter c**t for about 9 months and looking back on it now I have no idea why I put up with it for 6 weeks, let alone 9 months.

I suppose its easier to see things from the outside or with the value of hindsight.

HavingCrack

Wibbs wrote: »

There can be an element of that for some men in some relationships. They put up with crap because they assume that women and sex are hard to get. The more confident the man and the more he realises that the world is made up of 50% women, the less crap he'll take for the sake of having a girlfriend and sex. He'll make better choices, because he knows he has a choice. Similar for women too. The less confident ones often end up in bad relationships, for similar reasons. More the dire fear of being single with ladies though.

One of my mates is a perfect example of this. He was in a relationship with a girl 4 years ago, she cheated on him, he dumped her and then...3 months later takes her back. A year later she kisses another guy in front of him and sleeps with someone else that same night..he stays with her. 2 years ago same thing happens and then last year she she slept with one of his friends...Then last month he took her back again.

As much as I hate using this phrase it applies here 'WHAT THE **** '. I honestly cannot for the life of me see why he keeps going back to this girl who keeps doing to this to him time and again. IS he afraid he won't find another girlfriend or what? What goes on in these sort of peoples heads

Distorted

Going back to the original question, and again a women's perspective, I've often wondered why some of the guys I know are with *ahem* not that physically attractive women. Particularly when they are good looking, sporty guys, intelligent, with good jobs, and the girls are often quite plain, overweight, basic level education and maybe a little part-time job or at college. But you can't really say that because you risk hurting someone's feelings, and you assume theres a good reason. And now, since PrinceOfParma's post I know! They are all great cooks and lovely people, even the one that nags her guy and wants to stop him doing his sport, and especially the one that phones her guy up all the time demanding to know where he is!

Seriously, assuming that there are some guys who genuinely are more attracted to the larger, more "maternal" figure, there must be other factors at play. One of my male friends (as discussed above) used to ask me, yes, actually ask me, if I thought his girlfriend was "ok". I used to just mumber, "yes of course", in embarassment, but he was obviously insecure about her. One day we had a conversation and I did say to him I was puzzled why guys like him never got together with any of the stunning girls at the track we all train at and why they all had the girlfriends they did. And he said it was because they were scared to speak to the girls at the track, the prettier ones, as he thought he would be told to get lost.

So there you have it. I have to say that it was pretty much agreed amongst the girls at the track that the guys were stuck up because they never gave us the time of day and they all wanted non-sporty girlfriends because they wanted to be in control and were living in the past because they seemed uncomfortable with intelligent girls who did sport well.

I have to also say, as a female, a guy's choice of girlfriend tells me a lot about him. If I see a guy with a girl who is intelligent, pretty and talented at something, I respect him loads for it. I'm not saying a guy should have a girlfriend with a degree by any means, but out of the guys I'm mentioning above, not one of their girlfriends had a degree, and they all had little part-time jobs as shop assistants, receptionists, etc - nothing wrong with that, but ALL of them, when the guys had degrees? And as I somewhat judgementally mentioned, none of the girls slim or pretty either.

FWIW in relation to PrinceOfParma's post about less good looking girls being nicer, I don't find the same with good looking guys. Sure you get a few arrogant ones, but you get plenty of ugly guys who are arrogant too. If you are generalising, I find the good looking guys are the most well adjusted, the most socially skilled and therefore the most considerate. Its always the less good looking ones who are socially inept to the point of making you uncomfortable, who stalk you, and who seem to think the world owes them something!

Abi

Iam I the only one who thought they mightnt be in a relationship at all? like maybe a bro / sis / or work collegue row?



SUV, did you hear snippets of this convo that led you to belive they were a couple at all?

stupidusername

They could've been any relation to each other, it just seemed they were bf/gf.

I was just using them as an example anyway its not really important. I think the question i was trying to ask was - if a guy could just have sex with a girl he fancied, would a guy ever want more? I mean do guys really ever want a relationship, or is it just what they have to have to get regular sex?

Abi

stupidusername wrote: »

They could've been any relation to each other, it just seemed they were bf/gf.

I was just using them as an example anyway its not really important. I think the question i was trying to ask was - if a guy could just have sex with a girl he fancied, would a guy ever want more? I mean do guys really ever want a relationship, or is it just what they have to have to get regular sex?

Whoooooaaa there horsey. If you think the answer to that one isnt as simple as black or white, you're in for a shock. Nobody is the same, man OR woman or man. You cannot assume that the next woman beside you only want sex (which can be the case) or to try meet some new and hopefully something will come of it. I think it is a combination of maybe bad-experiences that has you in this mind-set, and above all - over-thinking.

With regards to the two on the bus?? well what have we got here? a pair of scummers airing their dirty laundry on a fcuking bus of all places. I'd have moved somewhere else on the bus tbh. If thats how easily influenced you can be by other peoples volitile relationships, you need to look at yourself, and your own expectactions of what you want from life.

mood

Distorted wrote: »

Going back to the original question, and again a women's perspective, I've often wondered why some of the guys I know are with *ahem* not that physically attractive women. Particularly when they are good looking, sporty guys, intelligent, with good jobs, and the girls are often quite plain, overweight, basic level education and maybe a little part-time job or at college. But you can't really say that because you risk hurting someone's feelings, and you assume theres a good reason. And now, since PrinceOfParma's post I know! They are all great cooks and lovely people, even the one that nags her guy and wants to stop him doing his sport, and especially the one that phones her guy up all the time demanding to know where he is!

Seriously, assuming that there are some guys who genuinely are more attracted to the larger, more "maternal" figure, there must be other factors at play. One of my male friends (as discussed above) used to ask me, yes, actually ask me, if I thought his girlfriend was "ok". I used to just mumber, "yes of course", in embarassment, but he was obviously insecure about her. One day we had a conversation and I did say to him I was puzzled why guys like him never got together with any of the stunning girls at the track we all train at and why they all had the girlfriends they did. And he said it was because they were scared to speak to the girls at the track, the prettier ones, as he thought he would be told to get lost.

So there you have it. I have to say that it was pretty much agreed amongst the girls at the track that the guys were stuck up because they never gave us the time of day and they all wanted non-sporty girlfriends because they wanted to be in control and were living in the past because they seemed uncomfortable with intelligent girls who did sport well.

I have to also say, as a female, a guy's choice of girlfriend tells me a lot about him. If I see a guy with a girl who is intelligent, pretty and talented at something, I respect him loads for it. I'm not saying a guy should have a girlfriend with a degree by any means, but out of the guys I'm mentioning above, not one of their girlfriends had a degree, and they all had little part-time jobs as shop assistants, receptionists, etc - nothing wrong with that, but ALL of them, when the guys had degrees? And as I somewhat judgementally mentioned, none of the girls slim or pretty either.

FWIW in relation to PrinceOfParma's post about less good looking girls being nicer, I don't find the same with good looking guys. Sure you get a few arrogant ones, but you get plenty of ugly guys who are arrogant too. If you are generalising, I find the good looking guys are the most well adjusted, the most socially skilled and therefore the most considerate. Its always the less good looking ones who are socially inept to the point of making you uncomfortable, who stalk you, and who seem to think the world owes them something!

Maybe these plain girls as you call them are nicer and more fun than the stunners. Looks fade. Personality doesn't.

stupidusername

Abigayle wrote: »

Whoooooaaa there horsey. If you think the answer to that one isnt as simple as black or white, you're in for a shock. Nobody is the same, man OR woman or man. You cannot assume that the next woman beside you only want sex (which can be the case) or to try meet some new and hopefully something will come of it. I think it is a combination of maybe bad-experiences that has you in this mind-set, and above all - over-thinking.

With regards to the two on the bus?? well what have we got here? a pair of scummers airing their dirty laundry on a fcuking bus of all places. I'd have moved somewhere else on the bus tbh. If thats how easily influenced you can be by other peoples volitile relationships, you need to look at yourself, and your own expectactions of what you want from life.

I'm a little confused. I was really just asking the question in terms of generally what guys want. It wasn't personal, and I don't have any one situation / relationship define me or my opinions. The couple on the bus just got me thinking.

The stereotype of men is that they're mad after sex, and of women is that they're mad after settling down, I really just wanted a sort of discussion about peoples opinions on whether or not these stereotypes can be considered representative of real life.

I was expecting many guys to respond saying they're really interested in finding someone nice to spend their time with, and don't just want sex, but I wanted to see just how many there are in comparison to how many just want sex, if they could have this sort of set up.

TitoPuente

stupidusername wrote: »

if a guy could just have sex with a girl he fancied, would a guy ever want more? I mean do guys really ever want a relationship, or is it just what they have to have to get regular sex?

Eh. Men do have feelings and emotions too. Believe it or not. We're not all sex-crazed, somatic narcissists. Some of us are emotionally healthy individuals who want an intimate, loving, mutually respectful relationship. Sheesh! It amazes me, in 2010, how human beings completely fail to understand and relate to each other.

Gunsfortoys

I like how some women seem to think they know what men want, this is a downfall of many women.

HavingCrack

mood wrote: »

Maybe these plain girls as you call them are nicer and more fun than the stunners. Looks fade. Personality doesn't.

At the same time I still think there has to be some physical attraction there as well, for me anyway. A girl could have the greatest personality in the world but if I'm not physically attracted to her also I won't be interested. I think you need a balance of both.

stupidusername

TitoPuente wrote: »

Eh. Men do have feelings and emotions too. Believe it or not. We're not all sex-crazed, somatic narcissists. Some of us are emotionally healthy individuals who want an intimate, loving, mutually respectful relationship. Sheesh! It amazes me, in 2010, how human beings completely fail to understand and relate to each other.

Sheesh yourself! I'm not assuming men are all sex crazed maniacs, I'm saying that's what the stereotype is, and am looking for some men to give their views on what they want.

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

I like how some women seem to think they know what men want, this is a downfall of many women.

I'm not saying I know what men want - I wouldn't start a thread to say that. I'm looking for responses from men that want relationships / just sex and to explain why they're not interested in the other.

HavingCrack wrote: »

At the same time I still think there has to be some physical attraction there as well, for me anyway. A girl could have the greatest personality in the world but if I'm not physically attracted to her also I won't be interested. I think you need a balance of both.

It's quite possible that although you might not find someone attractive someone else might. How good looking a person is is subjective.

Prezatch

I'm not saying I know what men want - I wouldn't start a thread to say that. I'm looking for responses from men that want relationships / just sex and to explain why they're not interested in the other.

Having only been in one serious relationship I would say in the months after it ended, I wasn't too interested in jumping back into a relationship with a girl. But now that the dust has settled I'd love to meet another nice girl and work on starting up a relationship. There's something just 'cosy' about having another half to care about who feels the same way about you that you can snuggle up with. As opposed to chasing randomers for drunken sex..

stupidusername

JoeyD wrote: »

Having only been in one serious relationship I would say in the months after it ended, I wasn't too interested in jumping back into a relationship with a girl. But now that the dust has settled I'd love to meet another nice girl and work on starting up a relationship. There's something just 'cosy' about having another half to care about who feels the same way about you that you can snuggle up with. As opposed to chasing randomers for drunken sex..

So its about having someone to care about, spend time with and can be close to? I suppose maybe its about where you are in your life? in the time after your relationship ended was this a time you were interested in having sex with random strangers, or is this something you don't do anyway?

Iago

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm not saying I know what men want - I wouldn't start a thread to say that. I'm looking for responses from men that want relationships / just sex and to explain why they're not interested in the other.

Ok, the starting point on your behalf needs to be an understanding that the bit in bold applies to pretty much every man. At different times, in different circumstances and with different partners men will want either the former or the latter.

If, as I suspect, the case in your situation is that the only men you meet are happy to have sex with you but don't want a relationship, you need to evaluate why that is. We won't be able to answer that for you as we don't know these men or the situations in which you meet them.

There will always be a subset of men who either;

1) Are only looking for no strings sex and as soon as they get it are looking for someone else to sleep with

2) Are only interested in someone for as long as it takes to get them to sleep with them, after which the interest wanes completely

3) Think that a woman that sleeps with them early on isn't the kind of woman they want a relationship with

These are only a subset though, so if they're the only types of guys you're meeting then something has gone wrong somewhere. The vast majority of guys are just like you, they're happy to have fun but also want to meet someone they have a connection with and can build a life with.

Without more information it's hard to provide specific answers.

Prezatch

stupidusername wrote: »

So its about having someone to care about, spend time with and can be close to? I suppose maybe its about where you are in your life? in the time after your relationship ended was this a time you were interested in having sex with random strangers, or is this something you don't do anyway?

Well I'm 24 so I've plenty of living to do yet! I was definitely interested in randomer one nighters at the time. It wasn't because I had a terrible break up or anything (we're the best of friends now) but I kind of realised sure you're only young once so what the hell. But this changed as I said, partly due to the fact that I can't stand the whole chatting up randomers in bars/clubs thing. I find approaching strangers is extremely daunting!

I think for most people it just comes down to chemistry - you might end up meeting someone on a night out and have what you think is going to be just a tipsy one nighter but then end up getting on great with them...and love will blossom!

Wibbs

Distorted wrote: »

Going back to the original question, and again a women's perspective, I've often wondered why some of the guys I know are with *ahem* not that physically attractive women. Particularly when they are good looking, sporty guys, intelligent, with good jobs

I have to say Ive noted this one too(I've noted it more in Ireland too). I can think of way more men with women like that than not.

I think it's a lot to do with confidence or lack of it in the men. The "plainer" woman with the perceived below the man job/education, makes the man feel better about themselves. I suspect they also think they're "safer" in that they reckon they have less options from other men so they're less likely to stray. Plus the man gets to be the focus of social attention more. The good looking woman with the brains and talent is more of a worry to a lot of men IMHO.

On the other side of that, I've also noted the good looking talented intelligent women who go for very beige plain guys. Often beneath them in social "rank". There's often a trajectory observed in this. When younger the woman like that will have much more exciting intelligent men, but when they near their 30's go for the beige way more. I suppose for similar reasons to the men above. They're safer and less likely to stray.

For me there is no way in hell I would enter into a long termer with someone I didnt consider an equal across the board. Someone who had a skill way ahead of mine in an area is very attractive too. I wouldnt be interested in a woman that other men weren't falling over themselves to be with either.

Distorted

mood wrote: »

Maybe these plain girls as you call them are nicer and more fun than the stunners. Looks fade. Personality doesn't.

So that'll be why a couple of these guys started texting me after I spent time with them in a group, and wanting to meet up, will it? And when I found out they had girlfriends and was a little bit cooler to them and told them I was busy, that would by my fault, would it?

I have plenty of attractive, intelligent female friends who have great personalities and who are really nice, genuine people. True, it means they're not sitting on their behinds piling on the pounds or spending all day cooking for their men. They tend to have things called jobs and hobbies as well. In fact I would say they seem to have more personality than the plainer girls I'm referring to. But since I'm speaking from a neutral point of view (I have no interest in dating them) I would say the attractive girls I know on the whole have the better personalities.

Not saying plain girls don't have nice personalities, but the girlfriends of these guys I know seem to spend their time not doing anything with their boyfriends other than going to the supermarket and making bitchy remarks to other women. Maybe some guys just like women who they know will do anything to hang onto them?

padma

Maybe I'm old fashioned but something that hasn't been mentioned here is LOVE, There is a consensus here of the type of stuff you see and hear in American Soap operas like Friends and Sex and the city. A world dominated by over-thinking meandering around the edges of rom com stuff. Girl meets boy, boy meets girl. On a purely biological level of a man having sexual needs and then just sticking with a woman to fulfill those needs is a very bland stereotypical view of men. Even going to the level where he takes nagging continously just so he will get his leg over, is IMO a stereotype with little or no truth in it.

I think the case is the knight in shining armour. A woman who has emotional blocks the man stays with her hoping she will show more of her true side which he knows is in there somewhere. Reminds me of my teenage years the first few long-term relationships I was in, constantly wanting to be there for the woman to fulfill her emotional needs too. Hoping just hoping she will turn a new leaf and come out of her nag mode. As for the sex, no man IMO would stick with a nag just for sex, there has to be more to it for any man to go the lengths they do in such a relationship.

From my own experience Love is a guessing game. Always wondering about the other half, Do they Love me? I know he/she does but they dont show it too often, and on and on it goes, til 1 day you wake out of your fantasy and secure zone and say, Damn I'm out of here this is going nowhere.

Stupidusername not wanting to sound offensive, but if you are finding men who just want to have sex with you and aren't interested in a relationship, you need to look inwards and work out is that what you are signalling. I'm a firm believer in you are getting what you send out there. Give me a pm if you are looking for a real man who wants more than just 20 minutes of a rumble. :cool::eek::pac:

stupidusername

padma you make a lot of sense. I often wonder how many people settle for what they think they have when at the best of times it's only mediocre. Though have to say I have done myself. It's a hard thing to face breaking up with someone when it's not a really big obvious thing like cheating or that. It's hard to feel you're making the right decision when you are unsure that the other person does care about you.

wibbs your post is interesting. I wonder myself from time to time what kind of person would I consider / not consider going out with in terms of education or talents or interests. I think overall it's about who I'd click with. Though I think the 'clicking' part is expected to happen the first time you talk to someone, which realistically I don't think it happens like that too often. How can you click with someone until you know them a little better...

padma wrote: »

Give me a pm if you are looking for a real man who wants more than just 20 minutes of a rumble. :cool::eek::pac:

Why don't you PM me eh?

padma

stupidusername wrote: »

Why don't you PM me eh?

Theres rules to be observed this being the modern age I thought I'd leave it to the ladies to start making the first move. Besides if I DID PM you you would think automatically I was looking for sex. While the thought of it intrigues me, It's not in my nature to pursue it :P

padma

Though If I win the free steak and pint for two in Synotts, I promise I'll bring you along even though Im vegetarian

stupidusername

padma wrote: »

you would think automatically I was looking for sex.

what man on the internet isn't? :pac:

padma wrote: »

Though If I win the free steak and pint for two in Synotts, I promise I'll bring you along even though Im vegetarian

yes! classy date...

padma

stupidusername wrote: »

what man on the internet isn't? :pac:



yes! classy date...

pictures fat baldy guy at home in a dingey flat munching mars bars drooling over a little internet flirt,

Obviously not me, still hasn't worked out how to get sex on the internet, not that I've been trying to mind!!

Otis Driftwood

Folks,this is not a dating forum,stupidusername,this type of posting style from you has been addressed before.While you may view it as a bit of harmless fun,I and others find it cringe inducing,please rein it in,cheers,Ned.